Quiet Rage
by LMELMK-1970
Summary: Between New Moon and Eclipse. Bella allowed herself to move on with Jacob, even though a part of her heart still belonged to the beautiful vampire with topaz eyes. See what happens when Edward returns to find his soulmate married to another -- the enemy
1. DisclaimerThings you need to know

**DISCLAIMER:**

I own nothing in Stephenie Meyer's world of Twilight. However due to her wonderful writing and plots I find myself obsessed with both the characters and the story. So I am humbly burrowing her characters to create a Twilight world of my own. No malice or copyright infringement is intended – it's just purely for my own enjoyment of the greatness she's created.

**WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW:**

About me- This isn't my first Fanfic, yet it is my first Twilight one. I have been reading many stories here at and was inspired to try my hand at my own. I hope you enjoy the idea behind this story and like any author I enjoy feedback and constructive criticism.

I have never written in first person before so please allow me to find my way in the first few chapters.

About the story- 

Jacob is the Alpha of the pack not Sam. Jacob took his rightful place and Sam willing stepped aside.

Sam and Emily are married.

Edward never went to Italy and he never came back to Forks.

Bella does her best to make a life for herself and move on without Edward.

Bella is a senior in high school just about ready to graduate.


	2. 1 Satisfaction and Heatbreak

Quiet Rage: _Satisfaction and Heartbreak_

**Bella's POV –**

There I stood in front of the mirror staring at an image that I almost didn't believe. Bella Swan, in a flowing white dress, veil shielding my pale features, bouquet in hand. I was a bride. I was about to get married.

It wasn't at all like I imagined it might be. There was no Alice flitting around me with her pure pixie excitement chatting away in my ear about how beautiful I was. There was no Rosalie standing begrudgingly on the sidelines doing her family duty, no Esme smiling softly the way only Esme could. That's because I wasn't marrying Edward. The mere thought of his name sent a ripple effect through my body. At just the mere thought of him, the frayed edges of my heart that I thought I had been successful in mending unraveled even more so. I felt the beating of my broken heart accelerate before I could stop it. The racing of the blood through my veins, blood that had made Edward's senses sing, brought a myriad of emotions; sorrow, anger, grief. I shook my head as if to rid myself of things I could no longer have – a life that would never be mine.

"Hold still, or I am going to end up poking you in the eye," I heard Emily Uley say as she did her best to pin the veil to my hair.

"Sorry," I said without looking at her.

"There, you are beautiful. Jacob is going to lose his mind when he sees you walking down the aisle."

I gave Emily a weak smile. I was marrying Jacob Black today. The boy turned instant man, the one who had picked up the broken pieces of my heart and found a way to fit them back together again. Yet deep down I knew there was a piece that would always be missing, a piece that Edward Cullen had taken with him that fateful day more than a year ago.

There was a soft knock on the door before I heard my father, Charlie's, voice, "You about ready?" he asked. "Oh Bells," he gasped, "You are beautiful!"

"Thanks dad," I returned shyly. I watched my father watch me his eyes clouding with tears. He offered me his arm and I took it gingerly. I knew I was doing the right thing. I knew marrying Jacob was for the best. He loved me and in my own way I loved him too. We would have a good life together.

"That's our cue." Charlie smiled as the wedding march began to waft through the tiny Forks church.

I took a deep breath and embraced what was the start of my life now. Charlie held me steady as we slowly walked down the center aisle all eyes on us. I wanted to sink into the floor, hating being the center of attention, no matter if this was supposed to be my day or not.

I tried not to glance at the pew where my mom, Renee, and her husband Phil should have been seated. When I told her that I was getting married she pretty much lost it, the idea of her daughter marrying at such a young age, even younger than she had, had sent Renee over the edge. So much so that she had refused to be any part of my marriage. She said it was a mistake and wasn't about to watch me make it.

It hurt not to have her here right now. I loved her with all of my heart, treasured her, yet she didn't really know me anymore. Maybe I didn't know me anymore, but what I did know was that Jacob loved me and in my own way I loved him and that would be enough.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Billy, Jacob's dad, give Charlie a wink. I couldn't help but smile. The two of them had been life long friends and the fact that their children were finally getting married had made them nearly giddy with excitement at the idea of being related. I was glad I was making Charlie happy.

It was then we stopped and I was face to face with the man I was about to marry. Gently Charlie placed my hand in Jacob's. "You take good care of her son," he said as he patted Jacob's shoulder. Jacob smiled at me and squeezed my hand as we turned and faced the minister.

**Jacob's POV –**

I rolled my shoulders trying to get comfortable in my tuxedo jacket but it wasn't working. I felt confined and way too hot, even for me.

"Relax man." Sam Uley put his hand on my shoulder. "It'll be over before you know it and then the real fun begins," he said with a wink.

The minister nodded and Sam and I followed him out of the small side room where we had been waiting to stand to the left of the altar. I looked around at the room full of family and friends; nearly all of LaPush was there, and Bella's friends from school. It looked like the whole town of Forks had shown up to witness me, Jacob Black, marry Isabella Swan.

Sam nudged me as Bella and her father came into view at the back of the church. Immediately I felt as though I had had the wind knocked out of me. She was beautiful. I had to tell myself to breathe or there was a good chance I was going to pass out right then and there.

I couldn't believe that I was actually marrying her. I had dreamed of this day but honestly never thought it would come. She had always been so wrapped up in _his_ world that I never once thought she would be part of mine. Yet there I stood at the end of that aisle waiting with baited breath for my love to join me.

I saw her soft smile as Charlie cupped our hands together. A zing of electricity shot through me that nearly made me jump. I smiled broadly at her as I squeezed her hand, my heart nearly skipping a beat when we turned and the minister began the ceremony.

**Edward's POV –**

What was I doing? I thought to myself as I made my way through the cold damp streets of Forks, Washington. I had told myself that I wouldn't do this. I had left Bella so that she could have a life, a life full of human experiences. But I was weak and the pull that she still had over me had gotten the better of me so there I sat in my Volvo making my way closer to her house wondering if she would ever forgive me for leaving her.

I couldn't blame her if she didn't. I had promised to never leave her. I had promised her forever, yet I took it back one day when I broke the heart of the only person I had ever loved in my ninety years as a vampire.

The gravel driveway outside of Chief Swan's house was vacant, no police cruiser, no red truck. Perhaps this was a sign, a sign that I should go back to where I came from and leave Bella in peace. Yet I couldn't at least not without seeing her. I needed my fix of heroin, even if the high were to only be short lived.

I drove by Newton's Sporting Goods Store hoping not to find Mike Newton fawning all over Bella, my Bella, again no red truck. In fact there wasn't a single car in few stalls that ran in front of Mike Newton's parent's store. I gripped the steering wheel just a little tighter overcome by a sense of dread.

Quickly I steered my Volvo towards the police station knowing that perhaps that wasn't the best place to try to talk with Bella since I could only imagine what her father might have to say to me. I didn't care though. I wanted, needed to see Bella. The urgent need grew the longer it took for me to locate her. There was only a single lone police car in the station's lot and it didn't belong to Chief Swan. I was growing more frustrated by the minute. It wasn't like Forks was such a large town, how could I not be able to locate Bella?

It was then that I saw both Charlie's cruiser and Bella's red truck parked along side the only church in town. A sense of relief flooded me. I easily swung my car into a spot and exited it with haste. I wasn't sure what was going on inside but I knew Bella was there and that was the only thing I could think about. I needed to see her, needed to apologize, ask – beg for her forgiveness. I had learned in the time we spent apart I was nothing without her. She was my other half. The half that made me whole. I could only hope that she still felt that way about me and that my attempt to be noble and keep her safe hadn't ruined everything.

I pulled the doors open only to hear the wedding recessional. Bella and her father were at a wedding. How fitting I thought, I wanted to marry her. "You may now kiss the bride." I heard as I edged my way further inside. I froze in my tracks as the couple turned to face the congregation. "Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce for the first time, Mr. and Mrs. Jacob Black."

If I had had a beating heart it would have stopped right then and there. I couldn't help by reveal myself. It was like something from deep within me propelled me forward.

"Edward!?" I heard her angelic voice say.


	3. 2 Devastation

Quiet Rage: _Devastation_

**Edward's POV –**

'_Mr. and Mrs. Jacob Black'_ – those words echoed in my ears. I felt as if I was rooted in place not being able to move but wanting to so desperately. I watched Bella carefully for some sign of reaction from her. She didn't move all she did was stare at me with disbelief swimming in the depths of her deep chocolate colored eyes. I imagined that's what I must have looked like as well – STUNNED.

I wanted so much to be able to read her mind. My inability to do so had always frustrated me but at this moment it angered me. I needed to know what she was thinking. While Bella's thoughts were lost on me the rest of the room's were not. Suddenly I felt bombarded by a chorus of thoughts, declaratives and questions. It made my head ache.

_'oh my God!'_ Jessica Stanley kept thinking over and over again.

_'well isn't this interesting,'_ Mike Newton thought with a smirk.

_'why couldn't they just stay away?'_ Billy Black thought as he glared in my direction.

_'i should kill him!"_ Charlie's thoughts raced and I got a clearer picture of what my leaving had really done to Bella. I instantly felt sick. What was I doing here? She had moved on. Isn't that what I wanted? Didn't I want her to have a normal human life? Yes, I wanted all those things but never once had I thought that that _normal_ life would include her being married to Jacob Black – being married to anyone but me.

_'i always wondered if he'd ever come back,'_ Angela Webber thought as she looked repeatedly between Bella and myself.

_'poor Jacob,'_ Tyler thought as I heard him recalling his own run in with me when he stupidly sat at Bella's house the night of prom thinking that she was his date. If I hadn't been so shell shocked I might have even laughed at his recollection.

_'dun dun dun duh'_ Eric thought over dramatic as ever.

I tore my mind away from the thoughts of the others swirling around me and placed all of my focus on Bella who was still standing at the front of the church staring at me through a dumbfounded expression, yet I noticed that she had dropped Jacob's hand. Did I dare hope I wondered?

"Edward," she whispered too soft for the rest of the congregation to hear yet my keen hearing picked out the sound of her voice at once. I almost thought she was going to come forward to where I was but Jacob stopped her when he reached for her hand again.

It was then that I saw the crystal glisten of a tear escape passed Bella's velvet lashes. My stone heart broke into a million pieces at the sight of her tears. Again without warning my feet took off of their own accord and I was slowly making my way towards where my love stood.

"Don't think that I won't arrest you where you stand." Charlie stood up stopping me from going any farther. What could I say to that? He wasn't doing anything that I wouldn't have done to protect Bella. In some odd way I respected him for it. "You need to go." He instructed me.

I closed my eyes and weighed my options. I could have whisked Bella out of the church and there wasn't a thing that any of them, well except for the half a dozen or so werewolves that were sitting in the pews, could have done to stop me. I would have been gone before they even realized it. Yet the voice in my head, Carlisle's voice, stopped me. It beckoned me to be reasonable, to think about the consequences of my actions.

"Didn't you hear me? You aren't welcome here." Charlie spoke again and this time I heard Bella whimper at those words. I looked over Charlie's shoulder wishing for some, any movement from Bella in my direction, but nothing.

The random thoughts of the crowd began to inundate my mind again as I turned my back and made my way toward the door. I did my best not to concentrate on any of them. I didn't want to hear what they were thinking, but Jacob's gloating thoughts pierced my defenses. He wanted me to hear. _'you're too late, leech. The best man won!'_

I almost retorted to his silent jab but I didn't have the strength to even bother.

**Jacob's POV –**

I felt a low growl grumbling in my chest the minute I heard Bella say _his_ name. She immediately began to tremble at the sight of _him_. After all this time _he_ still had an effect on her, an effect that if I was honest with myself I would never have. That mattered very little to me right now. Bella had married me. She was wearing my ring. Bella was my wife and there wasn't a thing that the leech could do about it now.

_'What do you want us to do?'_ Sam mentally asked me as I felt his hand on my shoulder. Technically no treaty had been broken. We were in the town of Forks not LaPush and_ he_ had as much right as the next to be there.

_'nothing,' _ I answered him. Sometimes being able to communicate without actually talking came in handy.

I regretted my response the minute I felt Bella's hand fall out of mine and heard her barely whisper _his_ name. No one around us had heard that but I knew _he_ had along with the rest of my pack. I watched them all anxiously waiting to see what my next move was going to be.

As still as Bella was standing, I still felt the slightest movement of her body forward. She was going to go to _him._ She was going to leave me standing there in front of everyone and run off with _him_. I reached for her hand stopping her before she had a chance to take flight.

I heard Charlie telling _him_ to go, that _he_ wasn't welcome here. I saw the contemplation in_ his_ eyes. I wondered if _he_ would really reveal what he was to all of them just to get to Bella. I was sure_ he_ was willing to fight as hard to have her back as I was to keep her, yet suddenly _he_ turned and started walking away.

'_you're too late leech. the best man won!'_ I thought knowing full well he could hear every word.

**Bella's POV –**

"Edward," I said the minute he came into my line of sight. I almost thought I was imagining him. So many times I had wished for him to come to me and now that he was I doubted my own vision. I stared at his tousled bronze hair and searched his pale white features until I focused on his clear topaz eyes. His gaze made me shiver even from the distance we stood apart.

I couldn't help myself when I dropped my hand from Jacob's larger one. All of the sudden it felt so very wrong to be holding anyone's hand but Edward's. My breath quickened the longer I stared at him. I tried not to remember the pain of his leaving me alone in the forest that afternoon but rather focus on the fact that there he stood within feet of me. Oh how I had longed for this moment, how I had dreamed of it and now here it was.

Just as I was about to step forward and bound down the few stairs, Jacob locked his strong hand in mine and I was forced to remain where I stood. The ragged hole in my heart opened again knowing that I was losing Edward once more.

I heard my father threatening to put Edward in jail. And yes, I understood Charlie's volatile reaction as he had watched me live through months and months of depression unable to do anything to console me, but still his words angered me.

I looked around at the faces of my friends and people who had come to be like family to me all their eyes toggling between Jacob and I and the one who broke my heart. I could only imagine what they had to be thinking and I would stake my life on it that Edward did know. My thoughts though were a mystery to him and frankly they were a mystery to me as well.

I couldn't deny that his being there didn't make me want to forget the vows I had just said minutes before and run to him never looking back, however; there was another part of me that was furious. Why had he waited so long to return? Why had he let me get involved with Jacob if there was even a chance that he could back? Why didn't Alice tell him sooner that I was going to marry Jacob? Why had he come back at all and why now?

Without warning he just turned away from me, like he had before and began walking out the door. My heart shattered all over again as I watched his retreating form. In my head I was screaming his name wishing beyond reason that somehow he would finally be able to read my mind. Nothing.

I gave a sideways glance at Jacob and saw the satisfied smug grin across his lips. I wanted to scream. What had I done?


	4. 3 Determination and Second Thoughts

Quiet Rage: _Determination and Second Thoughts_

**Edward's POV –**

I heard the heavy wooden church shut behind me with a loud thud. My hand tightly grasped the black wrought-iron railing, my unnecessary breaths coming out in short quick bursts as I did my very best to wrap my head around what I had just witnessed.

The images of Bella in her snow white gown standing at the altar beside Jacob Black, of all people, bombarded me. What the hell was I doing walking away again? I couldn't force my feet to move in either direction. They wouldn't allow me to go forward nor would they allow me to go back inside the church and claim the woman that I loved.

_Claim the woman I loved_, I thought laughing out loud but the sound was devoid of humor. I had left her. I had been the one to tell her, _lie to her_, that I didn't want her, didn't love her. And here I stood thinking I had some right to lay claim to her, however; the idea of walking away from her again wasn't one that my stone heart could imagine.

I had spent the last year moving from place to place looking for some sort of peace, but peace hadn't come. I had known it the minute I left her that there would be no such thing as peace for me without Bella.

My family dutifully complied with my request and uprooted themselves from a place that we had all come to think of as home for over two years. As much as they tried to shield their thoughts from me, I could still sense the resentment they felt at having their lives turned upside down. But I knew that if they had stayed in Forks, Bella would have clung to the idea that I would come back. Even though that's exactly what I had done. I had come back. No amount of wandering the globe had dulled the ache that filled my soulless body.

Just like Carlisle, I tried my best to find ways to end my eternal existence. End the agony that filled my days and endless sleepless nights. But as my father before me, I found out that short of setting myself aflame I was destined to live out my eternity missing a vital part of myself.

It was watching the lovers holding hands in the Paris streets when I set my mind to returning to Forks, set my mind to begging for Bella's forgiveness. I could no longer live without her. I had become even more of a shell than I had been before she arrived in Forks. I was determined to do whatever it took to win her back. Was that even possible now?

I could hear the soft murmuring from inside the church but was unable to make out any thought in particular. Maybe I didn't want to hear what was going on. Maybe I didn't want to know that Bella was choosing to stay with Jacob. That thought tore me to shreds.

Slowly and deliberately I descended the expansive stone stairs and walked across the quiet street thinking to myself that all of Forks must have been inside. I glanced back at the large weather worn white church one last time willing Bella to come bounding out the doors and into my arms – but nothing. I slid behind the wheel of my Volvo, gunned the engine and sped away.

I circled the streets of Forks finally ending up in the middle of the high school parking lot. I stared at the very spot Bella's red truck had been parked the day that Tyler nearly killed her with his van. The memory was one I played over and over in my mind so many times now. As hard as I fought with myself even then, I knew I couldn't live in a world that didn't include her.

A smile pulled at my sullen lips as the memory of the first day I drove Bella to school picked at my mind. I loved how the thoughts of her friends raced with so many questions, especially Mike Newton. He was beside himself and I loved every minute of it. I had grown tired of his constant obsessing over a girl who wanted nothing but friendship.

Memories that I had tucked away rushed forward and I was reliving all my wonderful days with Bella. The afternoon in the meadow when I revealed to her my secret, the many nights spent in her room watching her sleep, the first time I heard her utter my name from her dreams. I felt like I was drowning in it all yet it was the most glorious feeling I had allowed myself to feel in quite some time.

Why had I waited so long to return? I scolded myself. Why had I ever left in the first place? I wanted to keep Bella safe. I didn't want my world to endanger her ever again the way it had when James set his sights on her. But for all my good intentions Bella had found her way into a danger again. She put herself in the middle of a wolf pack – married a werewolf.

I felt myself repulsed by the very thought of his scent clouding Bella's sweet smell. I did my best to not allow my mind to envision Jacob holding her, touching her. Even the sight of them holding hands was more than I could tolerate. Deep down I believed that there still was a part of Bella that loved me. The way she said my name that afternoon, the way I was sure she was about to come to me before Jacob stopped her – some part of her still loved and wanted me as much as I did her. Marriage or no marriage I would win her back. I knew now that I couldn't be complete without her.

Bella's house was still dark as I drove by it. Parking around the corner quickly I scaled the tree and slipped into her room. Immediately Bella's scent engulfed me. It tickled my nose and made my stomach churn. It had been so long I almost thought my body would have forgotten how to react but it hadn't. I looked around the dimly lit room and everything was still the same. I went over to the far corner of the room and gently lifted the floorboard revealing the treasures from our time together exactly where I had hidden them a year ago.

I had taken them so that Bella wouldn't dwell over them night and day focusing all of her efforts on missing me. I should have taken them with me when I left but a part of me just couldn't. So I did the next best thing I hid them. Perhaps I thought that she might eventually find them, maybe that's what I wanted. Deep down maybe the last thing I wanted was for Bella to move on.

'_it will be like I never existed'_

That's what I had told her so I made it true. I erased myself and my family from the canvas of her life. If only I had been able to do the same for myself. I heard a loud thud of a car door outside. I looked out the window and saw Charlie loosening his tie and making his way inside. The wedding and reception must have been over by now. I swallowed the growl that was trying to bubble to the surface as I thought about Bella and Jacob beginning their lives together as man and wife. If I had been stronger I would have stayed and probed Charlie's thoughts so that I knew what happened after I left. I wasn't strong though. I was weak. Returning to Forks had proven that. My own selfishness had been mine and Bella's undoing from the very beginning. I should have just stayed away from the start and none of this would be happening.

Silently dropping from the window, I went to my car without any idea where I was going or what I was going to do now.

**Bella's POV –**

Emily stood on the other side of the dressing room door waiting as I handed her first my veil, then my shoes, next I slipped the white satin dress off my shoulders and allowed it to puddle at my feet. I scooped it up and handed over to her as well. Opening the garment bag in front of me and pulled out the cream cashmere dress.

"You okay in there?" Emily asked me in a hesitant voice. Ever since Edward's reappearance most people were walking on egg shells around me. It also had made for rather a tense reception.

"I'm fine," I said slipping the soft fabric over my skin. My own voice sounded shaky and I was pretty sure Emily wasn't buying my declaration.

"You need any help?"

"All done," I announced as I stepped out of the dressing room. "How do I look?" I was doing my best to sound normal, but then again I wasn't sure what was classified as normal anymore.

"Beautiful as always."

"Thank you." I felt the blush in my cheeks rise and found myself instantly thinking about how much Edward adored when that happened. 

'_STOP IT' _ I chastised myself. I had to stop thinking about him. He had left me for the second time that afternoon, walked out of the church without a backwards glance. I should have been used to it by now but if I was honest with myself I wasn't. It still hurt like hell.

"You ready?" Emily's voice pulled me from my thoughts.

"Uh-huh."

I stepped back into the reception hall to a sea of wondering eyes. At that moment I wished I had Edward's talent so that I could know what they were thinking or Alice's talent for seeing the future. I wanted to know what my future held. Up until a few hours ago I thought that I knew. I was going to be Jacob's wife, I was going to live with him on the reservation and go to college while he worked as a mechanic. We were going to have a good life. But now I wasn't sure. I wasn't sure of anything.

"You look amazing," Jacob kissed my cheek before reaching for my hand. I stared at him in wonder. He was acting as if Edward showing up at the church hadn't happened. We went about the reception fulfilling all that was expected of a newly happily married couple. "Thanks for being a part of this with us," he began. "It wouldn't have been the same without you all. We are going to have a long happy life together. Thanks again."

I couldn't help but think if he was trying to convince himself with his last remark or if he truly believed what he said. Either way it didn't matter at the moment as we escaped under a flower covered archway the crowd showering us with rice. I was about to start my life as Mrs. Jacob Black when all I really wanted to do was run and hide.

**Jacob's POV –**

The mud squished under the tires as the car wound its way toward where Bella and I were about to start our lives together. I slowed and came to a stop in front of a small cottage. There was a soft glow inside and I knew that Sam had been there setting the stage for Bella and my first night as husband and wife. "Wait," I instructed as Bella reached for the passenger door handle. I sprinted to the other side of the car, opened the door and scooped her into my arms. "We can't have you getting all muddy," I said with a smile.

"Thank you." Bella returned with a weak smile as I pushed open the front door with my foot. I closed the door behind us and an awkward silence filled the small space. "You could put me down," she suggested. It was difficult for me to release her from my hold. I had yearned for this for such a long time and as much as I hated to admit it I felt it slipping through my fingers.

"Sorry," I answered setting Bella gently on the floor. "Your overnight bag is in the bedroom." I noticed the lump that she swallowed at my words.

"Ah…thanks." With that she disappeared.

I gave her a few minutes before entering the bedroom myself. The door to the bathroom was closed only a thin strip of yellow light escaping from underneath. I loosened my pants and untucked my shirt and lay back on the bed resting the weight of my body on my elbows. As the door clicked open I was met with the most beautiful sight. There stood Bella in a long satin and lace nightgown. I felt my breath hitch in my throat at the image. The neckline plunged just enough to entice me closer. "You look breathtaking," I gasped running my feverish hands up and down her bare arms. She shivered under my touch. Instinctively I leaned in brushing my lips to hers. She pulled back almost immediately. The hairs on the back of my neck stood on end as I tried to control my temper. This wasn't at all like I had envisioned our first night together.

"I'm going to go change," I told her to which she just nodded. I closed the door behind me and looked at my face in the mirror. My eyes were black with anger. I rubbed my hands over my cheeks taking a few deep breaths to regain my composure. I just needed to relax. This was our first night together – Bella's first time, my first time. Both of us were bound to be more than a little nervous. I wasn't about to let_ him_ ruin what was going to be the best night of my life.

I exited the bathroom and found Bella curled up under the blankets with her back to my side of the bed. Easily I slipped in beside her trailing the plane of her shoulder blade with the tip of my finger. Again I felt her shiver at my touch. Moving her chestnut locks my lips brushed against her supple neck. I let my lips travel its length feeling an immediate arousal.

"Jacob," her voice was strained. "Don't, please," she begged. "I can't." She pulled the blanket tightly around her again refusing me further access to her delicious neck.

"Bella," I heard my voice sound like a strangled cry.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

Rolling over onto my back, I felt the beast inside me rage. It took all I had not to phase and run like the wind into the night. Instead I rolled onto my side clenching my fists into tight balls cursing _him_ the whole night.


	5. 4 Confrontations

Quiet Rage: _Confrontations_

**Jacob's POV –**

"Bella," I called closing the door behind me. It was then that I heard the sound of water running. She must have been taking a shower. She had been doing that a lot this past week. It seemed like anytime when things got too complicated she would grab her towel and head for the bathroom. It was her way of escaping, escaping me, I thought sadly.

I lowered myself onto the small couch below the window and waited. There wasn't much more I could do. This first week of our married life hadn't turned out at all like I thought it would. Bella wouldn't kiss me; she wouldn't allow me to touch her even innocently. She had turned avoiding me to an art form. I felt my blood boil beneath the surface as I pushed back the irritation that consumed me.

This week was supposed to have been about us, yet rather than spending time with my wife I found myself running the border of LaPush with Sam and the others in the pack making sure that _they_ knew their place. That's where I had been this morning running, searching for any scent of _him._ Nothing. I couldn't help but find that more than a little odd. I hadn't expected for_ him_ to just disappear. But then again wasn't that what _he_ did best? Swoop in mess with Bella's life, set her head spinning to just up and disappear leaving her empty. I clenched my fists into tight balls resting them on my knees feeling my taut muscles begin to quiver. I wanted to rip_ his_ marble flesh to shreds for what _he_ was doing to Bella again – what _he_ was doing to us.

I was getting antsy waiting for Bella to appear from our bedroom. I walked into the kitchen and saw a plate of fresh muffins and couldn't help but smile. Emily had given Bella the recipe saying she knew how much I loved them. While I was out, Bella had gone to the trouble to bake them for me. She did love me, I thought before popping one into my mouth. It was just going to take time for us both to settle in to what it meant to be married.

The other night I had overheard Bella and her father talking, when we all had gone to Sue Clearwater's for dinner, about how the first months of marriage are an adjustment and that it would get better. I watched Charlie pull her into a hug kissing her forehead. It was just going to take time, that's all. I would give Bella the time and space she needed even if it killed me in the process.

"Oh, you're back." Bella was surprised to see me leaning against the counter.

"These are even better than Emily's," I told her reaching for seconds.

"I'm glad you like them."

I hated the awkward tension that filled the space between us. I missed the old Bella, the Bella that would have laughed and smiled when she saw me. I missed the Bella that enjoyed my company not this Bella who seemed to be repelled by it. "What are you doing?" I asked.

"Looking for my bag," she answered searching the living room again. "I know it has to be here. Charlie brought it up for me the other night." I heard her let out a heavy sigh pulling a black messenger bag out from behind the chair in the corner. I watched as she quickly surveyed its contents fastening it closed when satisfied with her inspection. "Okay I will see you later."

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"To school," she answered giving me a puzzled look. "Spring break is over."

"I know. I thought we could go together."

"Together?"

"Yes, together silly. Why wouldn't we go to school together?" I couldn't help but laugh at how absurd it would be for the both of us to go separately. "Besides I thought I could show you around and get you settled in. I know transferring this far into the year isn't going to be easy. I just wanted to…."

"Transferring?" Bella's voice cut me off mid-sentence.

"Yeah, I just assumed you'd finish up your senior year with me here at LaPush."

"Jacob," she hesitated for a minute. I knew she was looking for the words to let me down easy as she had long ago when she told me that she couldn't give me more than friendship. "I can't just transfer here with less than two months until graduation."

"Why not?" I knew I was sounding childish but I couldn't help it.

"I can't. It doesn't make any sense."

"Yes you can!" My jaw clenched as I spoke trying to keep my voice even.

"Jacob, this is ridiculous. I only have two months of school left. I am not transferring anywhere."

"You will if I tell you to." I asserted forcefully.

"If you tell me to!?" she echoed me in disbelief.

"I am your husband."

"That's right my husband not my warden!" she spat back. "I'm going to school!"

The walls of our tiny cottage shook as Bella slammed the door behind her. The rage that welled in me burned my throat. Raking my arms across the counter I sent the plate full of muffins crashing to the floor; the china plate smashing into a thousand pieces.

"Damn it!" I hissed.

The last place I wanted Bella was alone in Forks. I had yet to find any signs of_ him_ but that didn't mean _he _wasn't biding_ his_ time to make _his_ move. The sound of her truck roaring to life and pulling away, away from me, sent a ripping sensation through my body. I needed a release and before I could think to stop it my clothes were in a shredded pile on the floor and I was running.

**Bella's POV –**

Instinctively my eyes were drawn to the corner of the parking lot where Edward and his family would have normally been parked. The spots were vacant as they had been since that fateful day. I thought it funny how no one ever parked there almost like me everyone was waiting for their return. Today though I thought it would be different. As foolish as it was I actually believed that I would see Edward's shiny silver Volvo with him leaning against it waiting for me.

Laying my head against the steering wheel I let out an uneven breath; my heart splitting into pieces all over again as it had been doing repeatedly for the last week. Did I just imagine his presence? Had I wanted him to come back and stop me from making the biggest mistake of my life that I conjured up his image?

The surrounding parking spaces in the lot began to fill and I knew there was no getting around facing the questioning stares. Removing my keys from the ignition and throwing them into my bag, I climbed out of my truck letting the heavy door slam shut with a thud. Suddenly I felt like I was transported back to my first day at Forks High School, a day that was filled with stares and whispers. Keeping my head down I trudged through the parking lot not allowing my eyes to meet those I felt probing me.

I slipped into my seat in English hoping to draw as little attention to myself as possible but of course that never happens. My foot caught on the leg of my desk and my body went tumbling. The blush filled my cheeks as the class turned to stare at me. I looked up at the empty seat that Alice had once occupied and longed to see her perky smile and the twinkle in her eyes. If she had been there I could have laughed at myself but now that she wasn't I suddenly felt even more alone and clumsier than ever.

"Are you alright Miss Swan," the instructor's voice called from the front of the room.

"Don't you mean Mrs. Black?" I heard Lauren correct him, smugness filling her tone.

"Oh that's right congratulations are in order aren't they?"

If I could have fled from the room or crawled under my desk at that exact moment I would have but all I was able to do was say thank you softly and hope beyond all hope that I could fade into the walls unnoticed.

I opened my book to the pages instructed but that was the last time my mind was in the room. My gaze fell to the third finger on my left hand. The simple gold band encircled the digit. With my other fingers I felt the cold smooth metal and tried to recall the day that Jacob jokingly suggested marriage. It was shortly after Sam and Emily had tied the knot and I had a feeling that Jacob didn't like being out done by a part of his pack. I remembered laughing it off but he remained persistent.

I had never thought of myself is the marrying type at least not until I had met Edward. For him I was willing to give up my earthly life for an eternal one with him. But I made the mistake of letting Jacob's off handed proposal slip one night while the four of us, Billy, Charlie, Jacob and I, were having dinner. It didn't take a genius to see the wheels in my father's and Billy's heads beginning to turn. So then I not only had Jacob's hints but I had Charlie's subtle groundwork as well.

I don't know if they had finally just worn me down or if I had resigned myself once and for all that Edward, any of the Cullens weren't coming back, when I agreed to marry Jacob. Renee hit the roof to the point that she threatened to come and drag me to Jacksonville herself. I did my best to convince her that I knew what I was doing. That I loved Jacob, I just neglected to say I wasn't** in** love with him.

I loved him for his ability to know me. He was the only one in those first few months after Edward's departure that could get me to even vaguely smile. Jacob let me be what I needed to be. I didn't have to pretend to be happy when I was around him but eventually the gapping hole in my heart began to close. That's not to say that I wasn't still full on in love with Edward Cullen, but I had come to the realization that if I knew anything at all about Edward he would want me to try to be as happy as I could be without him. So one afternoon when Jacob brought up marriage once more I shocked the both of us by saying _'why not?'_

Billy and Charlie were both like kids in a candy shop when we told them. Charlie hugged me until I didn't think I would be able to breathe and Billy eyed me with an odd sense of relief. I knew he knew what the Cullens were and that he had wanted me to have no parts of them. So before I knew it Billy and Charlie were signing consent for their children to get married and the rest I guess is history. There was no rewriting history I thought.

"Bella," Angela Webber's hand touched my shoulder as she spoke. "Class is over," she smiled.

"Oh," I returned watching the others file out of the room.

"You okay?" she asked me as we headed down the hall.

"I'm fine."

"I was just worried you know with …"

"Edward showing up," I finished her sentence for her. If it had been anyone else but Angela I would have been skeptical but I knew her well enough to realize that she truly was concerned.

"Well yeah. Have you seen him?" she questioned as we headed towards our next class.

"No," I did my best to hide my disappointment. "Actually until you mentioned him I was beginning to think I imagined him."

"Oh no, he was most definitely there," she said almost with a laugh. "I'm here if you need me." I felt her reach and squeeze my hand before we parted heading for our separate classes.

My entrance into my next class was less dramatic…no tripping, no announcing the new Mrs. Black. I quietly slipped into my seat again hoping to fade into the background. No such luck when Mike Newton slid into the empty seat next to me. I felt his eyes boring holes into me as if he was searching his brain for the right words.

"Yes?" I finally asked tired of being stared at.

"I was just wondering…where Edward was. I thought he would be hovering by now."

"It's not my day to watch him," I snapped back. The last thing I wanted to do was have a conversation with Mike about Edward. It wasn't like I didn't already know how he felt about my former boyfriend.

"I bet Jacob's freaking out," Mike continued when all I really wanted him to do was shut up.

"Why?" Even as I said that single word I knew how idiotic it sounded. I knew exactly why Mike thought Jacob would be freaking out. But was he? I wasn't sure besides our little argument this morning he had been acting mostly like himself…like Edward hadn't ever shown up, except for patrolling more with the pack, Jacob seemed to be Jacob.

"You aren't serious are you?" Mike chuckled. "Married or not I would be freaking out that Cullen is back."

"Well Jacob isn't you." I pointed out.

Mr. Forbes shoed Mike to his own seat before our conversation could go any further, thankfully. I didn't want to talk about Edward anymore. I didn't want to think about him. He was gone again and this time I had no one to blame but me. He was only feet away from me a week ago and I could gone to him but I didn't. I looked at Jacob who had saved me, saved my sanity and I couldn't break him – not like I had been broken.

"Bella, Bella wait up! So did you file for an annulment yet?" Jessica Stanley asked her stride falling in line with mine as we headed for gym class.

"What?"

"I just figured with Edward back now you will be rethinking the whole marriage thing." Jessica was nothing if blunt. "I mean seriously there's no comparing the two. I'd pick Edward Cullen in a heartbeat."

All of the sudden I felt the need to defend Jacob. No matter how conflicted I might have been Jacob didn't deserved to be dissed the way Jessica was. "I'm married to Jacob," I tried not to let those words get caught in my throat. "I honestly don't know where Edward is. As far as I know he's gone again."

"I wouldn't count on that," Jessica stated as if she knew more than she was saying.

I wanted to question her statement but I didn't knowing that that would open up another whole can of worms I didn't want to deal with. At the moment the only thing I cared about was surviving gym class without killing myself or maiming others.


	6. 5 Busted

Quiet Rage: _Busted_

**Edward's POV –**

I positioned myself so that I would go unnoticed in the shadows as I waited for the endless school day to come to a close finally. I was restless and found myself pacing when normally being still would have been easier. I was pulled back to the time when I first met Bella and had to fight my thirsty urges and then my ultimate defeat in not being able to stay away from her. All those memories surfaced again thinking, wishing that I had been stronger then, wishing I had not been so selfish and had just left Forks and Bella to have a life that I wasn't a part of.

My eyes rested on her old red Chevy truck pretty much parked where she always did. I smiled at the familiarity of it all and longing for those days that had since passed. The days between rescuing her in Port Angeles and when James and the others arrived shattering the life I allowed myself to believe that Bella and I could have together.

Off in the distance I heard the final bell ring ending the day and watched from my hidden perch as the school emptied quickly. I searched the crowds for Bella and the thoughts of those around for any sign of her. All were silent except of course for those of Mike Newton and Jessica Stanley. Not that that surprised me all that much.

_'i can't believe he just left. i'd bet he's around here somewhere. i still think she should get an annulment.'_ I heard Jessica's mind ramble.

Annulment? I thought. Had that been on Bella's mind? Did she want or was she even thinking of such a thing. Again I felt a growl grow in my throat frustrated that I couldn't read her mind.

_'i thought for sure Jacob would be here. i can't believe he's not keeping a closer eye on his wife. i know i would be if Cullen was back,'_

Mike's emphasis on the word wife cut through my stone facade. I didn't want to think of Bella as anyone's wife but mine. It was then that I caught sight of the object of my affection walking from the building completely alone. It wasn't hard to miss her deliberate glance to where my family's cars once used to sit. I almost thought I saw a sad frown cross her lips when she found them vacant. Did I dare hope that she missed me?

I watched Bella make her way across the parking lot trying to hold myself steady when she momentarily stumbled while she dug through her bag. I could have been to her in a fraction of a second yet my warring emotions held me fixed in place. Suddenly my mind was filled with visions of such a similar moment in time. There Bella stood again as she had that icy afternoon when she was nearly crushed by Tyler's van; the day that everything including my resolve changed. But there were no icy conditions today, no van screeching across the lot out of control, no reason for me to rush to her side, no reason except that I wanted to feel her warm body and the way it fit so perfectly against my own.

All of the sudden I was even more torn than I ever thought possible. A week ago I should have gotten in my car and driven away from Forks, the minute that I heard the pronouncement "Mr. and Mrs. Jacob Black", maybe I shouldn't have ever returned in the first place. But now that I was here the idea of leaving, leaving without Bella wasn't fathomable.

The parking lot congestion began to thin and I still stood in the shadows like a peeping tom watching Bella as she sat in the cab of her truck as if she was contemplating something. Oh how I wished I could hear her thoughts. Was she thinking about me as much as I was about her or was she thinking about Jacob and the life she now had with him? I wouldn't allow myself to even consider the second option. I couldn't, wouldn't permit that notion to seep into my head.

I heard the loud rumble of the old truck's engine when Bella turned the key in the ignition. I looked on as she began backing out into the line of traffic exiting the school lot. Again I was inundated with memories of another line of traffic months and months ago. Bella's distraught face as Tyler approached her asking her if she would ask him to the girl's choice dance. I could see her angry expression so clearly as she glared at me through her windshield for blocking her escape…even if at the time she hadn't known that's what I was doing.

As I was letting myself get lost in my precious memories, Bella's truck was inching farther way from me. Quickly, I sprinted to where I had parked my Volvo and then started my discreet pursuit of her. It was odd to feel the apprehension that filled me at the thought of actually stopping her and talking to her. It was more of a human emotion, more like those thoughts that I had heard in the mind's of all the high school boys over the years – _does she like me, doesn't she like me, will she go out with me_ – I had thought I was passed such mundane thoughts. Apparently when it came to Bella I was not.

I easily kept several car lengths between myself and Bella's old Chevy as it chugged through the streets of Forks. At one point I almost thought she caught on to my chase so I slowed my pace allowing a few more cars to insert themselves between us. It was when she rounded the corner that I saw the red and blue flashing lights behind me and Charlie's smug sneer in my rearview mirror. I pulled over to the side of the street and waited.

"Chief Swan," I said as the glass separating Charlie and I disappeared. "What seems to be the problem?" _'you're the problem,'_ I heard him think.

"License and registration," I was still baffled as I handed over the required small pieces of plastic. "Your registration is expired, Mr. Cullen. Get out of the car." Charlie's voice was professional but the thoughts I could read were anything but.

_'if he thinks i am going to let you waltz back into town and mess with my daughter again…she's finally in a good place and Jacob loves her…'_ That last thought made me desperately wish that I could tune Charlie out. _'he's never going to get close enough to hurt her again…not if i have anything to do with it'_

I clenched my fists to my sides clearly being able to read the images in Charlie's mind. I saw the first months of my departure and how Bella laid on her bed in a ball barely eating and rarely speaking. The picture of Bella just going through the motions of her life for months on end tore me to pieces yet those reflections were a mirror image of me during that same time.

"I need a tow truck," I watched Charlie say into the two-way radio clipped to his shoulder strap.

_'Tow truck,' _ I thought.

"Yeah, it looks like we have ourselves a stolen vehicle."

_'Stolen vehicle!'_ The thoughts in my head raced. Charlie Swan was planning on arresting me. He was going to make good on his threat from a week before.

"Turn around," Charlie instructed me. "Hands behind your back."

"You have got to be kidding right?" I spat back at him. "You know damn well this isn't a stolen car!" I heard the growl in my voice and had a difficult time holding my lips from curling to bare my white teeth.

"I know no such thing. Would you like to add resisting arrest to the charges?" Charlie smiled as if hoping that I would.

"Fine," I returned through clenched teeth.

The metal door to the cell slammed shut behind me and I heard Charlie's soft chuckle, a sound that any human would have never heard. I paced around the four by four cell the ire growing inside of me. The racing of Charlie's thoughts were understandable, he thought that he was doing what was best for his daughter. Not to mention he wanted to prove to me that he had power over me. In the back recesses of my mind I again understood his reasoning but at the moment I cared very little about any of it.

I pressed my stone back into the cold cement block wall and watched Charlie watching me with his feet propped up on his desk self-satisfied grim consuming his lips.

'_i should have done this all along. the minute Bella even mentioned him, i should have tossed his butt in jail. it would have saved us all, especially my daughter, so much heartache.'_

I quickly grew tired of Charlie's thoughts. I didn't want or need a reminder of how much I had hurt Bella. "Don't I get a phone call?" I asked.

It looked like he was contemplating that thought before speaking. "Don't you even think of calling my daughter!" he ordered before springing me from my prison. I didn't relish calling Carlisle.

**Bella's POV –**

I glanced in my rearview mirror all of the sudden feeling like I was being followed; but nothing out of the ordinary jumped out at me. I reasoned with myself that Edward was gone; the he had left me just like before. So why was it that I felt the same familiar shiver run down my spine whenever he was close?

I thought about Jessica's comment from earlier that afternoon. She doubted that Edward had really up and left again. I wasn't as sure. There hadn't been a single sign of him since the day I Jacob and I were married. That thought, my marriage, made my stomach twist into a tight knot.

I let my truck idle while I mulled over an idea, one that I shouldn't have considered but couldn't stop myself just the same. I took the twists and turns of the road leading to the Cullen home carefully. Finally the drive opened up revealing the large expansive house. My breath hitched in my throat and my mind raced with so many memories.

The driver's door squeaked as it closed; the forest was silent around me. I stared wide-eyed at the large white house hoping beyond hope that when I walked inside I would find Edward waiting for me.

I took deliberate steps making sure that I placed my feet in such a way that I didn't find myself laying face down on the moss covered ground. I took each step that lead to the front door hesitantly almost ready to bolt in the other direction at any moment. Tentatively I rested my hand on the doorknob my brain giving my fingers the instructions they needed to know what to do next.

Inside the house was as silent as the forest it sat in. The house I remembered once as being bright, light and airy was now dark and barren. Sheets were draped over the furniture that still sat in exactly the same spots as I remembered. The only piece of furniture that stood uncovered was the piano. I was immediately drawn to it. Running my fingers over the lacquered surface, I imagined Edward sitting at the keys. I sat down on the bench closing my eyes recalling the first time he ever played my lullaby for me. Any time I was anxious or stressed Edward would hum the melody of that song, the song he wrote for me in my ear. How I longed to hear that right now. But alone I sat in the Cullen's empty house missing what I was sure I could never have again and trying to wrap my mind around what was my life now.

**Jacob's POV -**

I was relieved to see the space where Bella usually parked was still empty. I needed a little time to pull my thoughts together. I needed to apologize for my words that morning. I shouldn't have been surprised by her strong reaction to my telling her what to do. She was a stubborn one and I knew it. I shouldn't have said what I did or pushed so hard for what I wanted. It was just hard for me to be away from her, especially now that _he_ was back.

I had to remember that she had her chance to run to _him_ but she hadn't. Bella stayed with me even when _he_ walked out of the church, out of her life once more. I closed the door to our little cottage behind me and settled in to wait for her to return home. As the hours ticked away I got antsy. It was well passed the time Bella should have arrived home.

"Charlie," I said into the receiver when the call I made finally connected. "Bella stop by to see you this afternoon?"

"No. Is something wrong?" His fatherly concern was evident in his tone.

"I don't think so. She just probably with Emily," I said trying not to further worry Charlie. "Okay thanks anyway."

I slammed down the phone with enough force that I almost thought I had crushed it. Thoughts of Bella with _him _bombarded me. My muscles grew rigid and trembled below my red-brown skin. I paced the small cottage trying to control the fire that grew in the pit of my stomach.

_'Jake, Jake, you have to calm down man,'_ Sam's serene voice filtered through my head.

_'she's with __**him**__!'_ I was sure my silent thoughts sounded like thunder in Sam's mind.

_'you don't know that.'_

_'then why isn't she home yet? why hasn't Charlie heard from her?_ I continued to bellow silently still pacing the tiny space that was our home.

_'could be any reason. it doesn't have to mean she's with Cullen.'_

_'don't say __**his**__ name!'_ I ordered. Just then I heard the familiar sound of my father's old truck and was instantly relieved. _'she's home.'_

_'see i told you....'_

I left Sam's thoughts in midstream throwing the door open to greet my wife. "Bella," I shouted. "I was worried about you. I am so sorry about this…" It was then that the stench burned my nose and I felt my breathing become ragged. "Where were you?" My tone was accusatory as I pulled away from her the scent of vampire was overwhelming.

Slinging her bag over her shoulder, Bella walked passed me the stink stinging my nostrils again. "Bella," I shouted following her inside. "Where were you?" I slammed the door with a thundering crash.

"At school," she told me innocently. "Why?"

The fact that she stood there lying to me caused my body to shake. "Where were you Bella or better yet who were you with?" I almost didn't want to know the answer to that question.

"Jessica, Mike Newton, Angela, Tyler, Lauren…." As she continued running down the names of her classmates all but one, I paced the four corners of the room. "Is that a satisfactory enough list for you?" There was a bite to her pitch.

"Not quite!"

"I don't know what else you want me to say. Do you want me to cook or are we having dinner with Sam and Emily?"

I stood back staring at her as she spoke as though she hadn't just spent probably the day in the arms of that bloodsucker. I felt the familiar ripple crescendo through my frame. I gripped the counter leaving indentations where my long fingers were. "I want to know why you smell like_ him_…why you STINK like that LEECH!"

I watched her freeze at my words. That was all the confirmation I needed. "Jacob, I don't know…" Bella stuttered as she did when she was nervous.

"YES YOU DO! ADMIT IT – You were with_ him_ today. ADMIT IT!" Before I could stop myself I had my hands wrapped tightly around Bella's arms. She winced in agony and if I had been thinking clearly, not thinking about _him_ holding her, I might have seen the pain flash through her chocolate eyes. "WHY!?!" I roared pushing her hard into the wall.

"Jacob," she whispered her voice mixed with disbelief and even fear. I felt my fingers digging into her soft skin again. "You're hurting me," she cried. Part of me didn't even care what she was saying. I just wanted to erase the smell of _him_ from her. I wanted to shake it off or her.

Suddenly a soft knock on the window broke the tension in the room. I turned my head to see Emily Uley starring through the pane of glass horror filling her features. As if my skin had been branded, I dropped my hands from Bella's arms and shot out the door without looking back.


	7. 6 Decisions

Quiet Rage: _Decisions_

**Bella's POV –**

One minute I was being held against the wall by Jacob's strong grip and then felt myself slipping to the floor in a crumpled heap. The pain in my upper arms throbbed from where his hands had dug into my skin. My head was spinning as I tried to center my thoughts on what had just happened.

"Bella," Emily's voice startled me I thought that I was alone. "Bella, here." She reached to help me stand but the second her hands grazed my arm I sucked in a quick breath in pain. "Oh my," I heard her gasp and it was then that I saw the deep purple bruises, almost black, forming across my pale white skin.

It didn't take much for me to imagine what she was thinking. The horror behind her black eyes was all I needed to see. I couldn't help but wonder if she was thinking back to a similar time when she had been the target of another wolf's rage. "I'm fine," I told her as my eyes searched the room for something I could use to cover my arms. It took a bit of effort but I pulled on the brown jacket draped over the back of a chair.

"What happened?" Emily's soft voice filled the silence.

"Nothing," I replied all the time my eyes never meeting hers. I couldn't or else I would have allowed the tears I had been holding at bay escape passed my lashes. Emily was silent for a while like she was weighing what or what not to say. I finally spoke. "Are we all having dinner at your and Sam's place tonight?" I did my best to keep my tone even and light, like any of the other hundreds of conversations she and I had had. "You know you could come here every once in awhile. Charlie will tell you I'm not such a bad cook, really." I heard the rambling of my own voice but wasn't able to stop it. I needed to fill the silence with something other than my thoughts.

"I think you should talk to Sam." Emily's announcement shocked me.

"What? No…what for?" My questions came out in a one sentence jumble.

"He can help."

"Help with what?"

"Bella." Emily's tone was soft still but held an almost offended tone.

"Everything's fine, Emily. Really it's fine." She eyed me unsurely I'm sure wondering who I was trying to convince more me or her.

"Look at me, Bella." She just about ordered. I hesitated for a bit, practically knowing what she was thinking, about to say. Finally I let my eyes come to rest on her once beautiful but now scarred face, a scar that reached all the way down her right side. "You really should talk to Sam."

"Jacob would never hurt me."

"He already has." She pulled back my jacket revealing the scratches and bruises.

**Jacob's POV –**

I felt the brush and limbs on the forest floor dig through my thick fur into my skin but that didn't stop me from running. The fury that fueled this rage was uncontrollable. I heard the pounding my feet made against the ground. The sound echoed in my ears and on I ran.

I had lost track of time when my body finally slowed. In the cold night air my breaths escaped me in quick bursts of steam. I shouldn't have been exhausted yet I was. My emotions were getting the better of me. Dropping my body to the ground the image of Bella's frighten eyes came rushing back to me. What had I done? I hurt her, I scared her. In all the time she had known what I was I had never frightened her, but in one reckless second I had done just that.

I hung my head in my hands letting out a defeated sigh. None of this would have been happening if _he_ had just stayed away. Bella would be happy with me if _he_ hadn't decided to show _his_ face again. The bile from my stomach etched my throat just thinking about _him._ Bella smelled like him, she reeked of vampire. My hands began to tremble again as the thoughts of Bella wrapped in_ his_ arms overtook me.

I wanted to take my anger, rage even, out on the person, no thing, it was meant for. Without thinking I phased back closing the gap between myself and the treaty border where our lands met _theirs_. I let my keen sight survey the surroundings looking for even the remotest of signs of _them_.

A sickeningly sweet scent filled the air and burned my nostrils when I inhaled deeply. I hadn't been wrong. _He_ was still here, _they_ all were! My ferocity encased me, tempting me to step across that imaginary line and rid this world, rid Bella's world, of the enemy.

I could have called the pack in an instant and it all would have been over. _They_ would be gone. _They_ would never see us coming.

_'jacob, what are you doing?' _Sam's silent words probed my head. I was so consumed with my own thoughts I hadn't realized that he had been shadowing me.

_'mind your own business.'_

_'i am. you and the pack are my business. what are you thinking?'_

Even through our silent communication I could hear his disapproval, but knew that he would follow my lead. He didn't have a choice I was Alpha.

**Edward's POV –**

I was on my feet the instant I saw Carlisle and Jasper enter the Forks Police Department. My conversation with my father, for all intents and purposes, was a short one. Carlisle understood from the little I said that this was totally about Charlie Swan needing to exact his own punishment for the transgressions I had committed against his daughter.

"Chief Swan," Carlisle offered his gloved hand to the man across the desk from him. "Edward tells me there is some misunderstanding with an expired registration for his vehicle." Carlisle's tone was velvet smooth as always.

I saw Charlie reluctantly return my father's handshake. "Resisting arrest too,"

_'i did no such thing!'_ my thoughts silently screamed at Carlisle. I clenched my teeth I was tired of Bella's father already. I know he disliked…well hated me but enough was enough already.

"Well can you blame him, Chief? You did accuse him of having stolen a car. A car I might add that you know very well belongs to him."

"Doesn't matter," Charlie's voice was gruff. "I can hold him for forty-eight hours."

"What?" I couldn't help but shout from behind them. "This is ridiculous. I didn't steal anything. My only crime is having forgotten to put the new registration in my glove box." I was exasperated now.

"Is that really necessary Chief? Especially, when I have the current registration right here?" Carlisle offered over the illusive document.

I imagined that Jasper had begun to work his calming magic since it looked to me as though Charlie was suddenly having second thoughts about holding me for forty-eight hours. Carlisle had been smart to bring Jasper along, I thought.

"Let me see that," Charlie all but ripped the small paper from Carlisle's hand.

"As you can see, perfectly legal and up to date."

I grabbed the cold steel bars in front of me agonizing over the length of time this was really taking. I easily could have snapped the brittle metal between my fingers, but that would have gotten me nothing but another set of problems entirely.

"Fine." Charlie reached for the key ring that hung on a peg behind his desk. "You're free to go." The door swung open granting me escape.

"Thank you, Chief Swan. I am sorry for the inconvenience." Carlisle put his hand on my shoulder and lead me towards the door as Jasper followed a few steps behind making sure that Charlie's amicable mood remained long enough for my hasty exit.

Carlisle tossed me the keys to the Volvo before handing me the current registration. "Perhaps you should put this in its proper place?" He raised his brow trying not to laugh. "You can follow me."

I saw Jasper smirk before I slid behind the wheel and immediately gunned my engine. I saw Carlisle's disapproving look in the mirror. _'could we at least get of the parking lot first?'_ he thought knowing I would hear.

I knew exactly where we were headed and what I was in for when we got there. Maybe a night in jail would have been better. I pulled the Volvo alongside Carlisle's Mercedes and braced myself.

"It won't be that bad, Edward." Carlisle put his hand on my shoulder again.

_'I wouldn't bet on that.' _Jasper thought.

"Here comes the jailbird!" Emmett howled the minute I stepped inside the house.

"Edward," Esme came forward. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, jailbird tell us all about it." Emmett wasn't about to let up and I knew it.

"I'm fine, Esme," I turned to her doing my best to ignore Emmett and his big loopy grin.

It was then that I looked around and the house looked as though we had never left. Gone were the white sheets and everything had a familiarity of our once home. "What's going on?" I thought and said simultaneously.

_'we're staying!'_ Alice's thoughts screamed in my head.

_'NO!'_

_'yes we are. we're staying in forks,'_

I whirled around to face Carlisle with questioning eyes. "We aren't staying!" I announced matter of fact.

"This is ridiculous!" Rosalie's voice dripped with sarcasm. "Aren't all of you tired of giving in to Edward's every whim? We go, we come back, we leave again. How long is it going to be before something that little human does summons us all back again because he," she pointed directly at me. "says so? I personally am sick of all of it!"

"Rosalie, we are a family."

"Yes we are," I watched Rose point to the group of seven vampires in the room. "the reason we are back here isn't though."

I wondered if anyone would dare to say Bella's name in my presence.

"We're back here babe, cause Edward went and got himself arrested." Emmett chuckled again.

"Technicality."

"Have you seen Bella? How is she? I can't wait to see her myself!"

Of course Alice would have been the first one to use Bella's name. "Yes," I said answering the first question. "She's married," I replied for the second. Those words brought silence to the room all but Alice of course.

"I would have seen that. You have to be wrong."

"I'm not and you wouldn't have been able to see."

"What?" Alice's confusion was obvious.

"Bella's married?" Carlisle spoke.

"Yes." I answered. "You wouldn't have seen any of it because she married," the word nearly stuck in my throat. "Jacob Black."

"The dog?" a few voices said in unison.

All I was able to do was nod. Alice came forward and embraced me as did Esme their thoughts exuded I pulled out of their hold, unsure of where in the house I could go without being bombarded by thoughts, memories of Bella.

_'serves him right,'_ I heard Rosalie's angry thoughts.

_'i'm sorry,'_ Jasper thought. He still felt ultimately responsible for what had pushed me to leave Bella in the first place.

"Edward," Carlisle stood behind me and I let him lead me to his study. "We don't have to stay. We, well most of us," I knew he meant Rosalie when he qualified his comment, "knew how much you miss Bella and still love her. We just wanted you to be happy. We can leave here and never come back if that's truly what you want."

What did I want? I honestly didn't know. Did I stay and torture myself watching Bella from a distance? Did I dare try to talk to her, tell her how I really felt? Did I leave her defenseless against a pack of werewolves married to one or not? I just didn't know.


	8. 7 Concessions

Quiet Rage: _Concessions_

**Jacob's POV – **

I hadn't realized that I had run the border well into the night. It wasn't until I saw the moon over head that I understood just how long I had been gone. Sam and I had bantered back and forth for some time until I finally ordered him away. I didn't want to listen to him any more. No matter what decision was to be made it was my decision. He and the others would have to live with it.

I knew it was time to head home and that thought pulled at the knot sitting in the pit of my stomach. As I rounded the corner, our little cottage came into view. It sat dark under the bright moonlit sky. Immediately my thoughts jumped. Bella was gone. She had gone to _him_! Rapidly the tempo of my breathing increased as the quivering beast below the surface wanted release.

I tried to be rational. Bella could have gone to Charlie's. She could be with Emily. She didn't have to be with _him_. Yet that was the only thought my mind would entertain. She had been with_ him_ earlier why wouldn't she have gone to _him_ now. My conscious picked at me – I had given her reason to it pointed out. The image of my holding Bella tightly against the wall flooded me. I shook off that picture rationalizing that none of that would have happened if _he_ had just stayed away. The idea of attacking him, all of _them_, reared its head again.

Rounding the corner, Bella's truck parked out front came into view. I let out the breath I hadn't even knew I had been holding in my lungs. Relief flooded me. I loved Bella so much. All I ever wanted was for us to be happy.

Quietly I closed the door behind me and let my eyes adjust to the darkness. The soft white glow from the kitchen beckoned me forward. Hesitantly I made my way in the direction of that light fearful of what I might find. Had I hurt her more than I remembered? That thought brought panic to my mind, but the kitchen was empty. On the counter sat a plate of food – my dinner. It was wrapped neatly in plastic wrap waiting for my return. It wasn't the food that drew my attention as much as the note that sat beside it did.

Jacob,

I wasn't sure if you had eaten. It's not much but I didn't

want you to go hungry.

Love,

Bella

My shoulders slumped as I read the short note again. She had made me dinner even after what happened she had been worried about me. I felt like such a jerk.

I pushed open the door to the bedroom gently. Bella's sleeping form was right there on her side of the bed. Once more I was filled with relief. There she was exactly where I thought she wouldn't be. I sat down on the edge of the bed watching the rise and fall of her even breathing. Lightly my fingers stroked the brown fan her hair made across the white pillow. She was beautiful and didn't even know it.

"I love you, Bella." I whispered in her ear. I lay next to her drinking in the sight of my wife. It still amazed me that she was my wife. It was then that my eyes traveled to her bare arm. Bile burned my mouth as I stared at the black bruise circling Bella's upper arm. I imagined that there would be a matching imprint on her other arm if I had been able to look. "Oh my God," I gasped softly the reality of what I had done hit me like a battering ram. Mixed with the dark bruise were red raised welts from my finger nails. I wanted to throw up.

"What did I do? Oh God Bella, I'm so sorry." I chocked on a cry that nearly strangled me. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I was just so mad. I can't lose you." I cried softly. "I swear I didn't know. I'm sorry."

A tear slid down my cheek and fell on the bruise rolling down her arm. My fingers hesitated trembling above what I had done. I was afraid to touch her, afraid to hurt her even more. "I promise Bella, I won't ever hurt you again. I swear to you. I love you. Please forgive me." I sighed before rolling over thoughts filled with what I had done.

**Bella's POV –**

Even something as simple as stretching my arms caused me great pain I did the best I could to move slowly hoping for the least amount of agony. Slipping out of bed quietly as to not wake Jacob, I pulled on my robe not wanting to have to look at the bruises that were the source of my ache.

Looking over my shoulder, I watched him sleeping peacefully and thought of his apology. He had thought I was sleeping but sleep hadn't come easily for me last night. Every time I closed my eyes all I could see was the rage in Jacob's face and then I found myself thinking about James and how he had that same look in his eyes. It made me shudder even now. But the part that made me even sadder was that this time Edward wouldn't be there to rescue me. I had made my choice and he was gone.

I shook my head trying to rid my thoughts of Edward. This was my life now. The life I had willingly chosen. It was about time I started living up to my end of the deal. I knew Jacob was devastated by what had happened last night. I could hear it in his heart felt apology and pleas for forgiveness.

Looking at him I knew I loved him. I just didn't love him with the all consuming love that he deserved. I knew that I wouldn't give that kind of love away ever again. But I did, do love him, I thought. He deserves all of me. He deserves a wife that is present and willing to be part of the life that we were trying to build. I had to do better. I had to give Jacob what he deserved. Gently I kissed his cheek before heading off to the shower.

I was careful to be sure I was fully dressed when I left the bathroom. I knew how much seeing my bruises upset Jacob and I didn't want to start out our day on that kind of note. To my surprise the bed was made and the room was empty. I assumed he was out patrolling with Sam and the others just like any other morning. Stuffing the last of the things in my bag for school, I headed for the kitchen to grab a bowl of cereal before heading to school.

"Morning Bella." Jacob's voice startled me.

"Oh you're here." He gave me a questioning glance as though he was trying to read the tone in my voice. "I just thought you were already gone."

"Not this morning."

It was then that I saw Jacob's attempt at breakfast. On the table was orange juice, scrambled eggs and toast. "What's all this?" I asked.

"Breakfast." He gave me a huge grin, a grin that lit up the features of his face. It was that grin that had helped me want to move forward not so long ago. "Have a seat." Jacob pulled the chair out for me.

"Thank you," I said softly. "Aren't you going to eat?"

"Later."

"This is pretty good."

"You're not the only one who had to cook for their father." Again he grinned widely.

"Yeah I guess." I laughed a little thinking about how similar some of the events in both our lives were, but would that be enough? I stopped myself from thinking those things. I made my resolve to make my life with Jacob the very best it could be. He deserved it.

We fell into an awkward silence and I was pretty sure that Jacob wanted to talk about what had happened the day before. I beat him to the punch filling the silence with an entirely different subject. "I was thinking it might be nice to have Sam and Emily over for dinner tonight. What do you think?"

"Yeah, sure." Jacob's tone was distracted still.

"Do you want to have the others over too, like Quil and Embry?"

"If you want." He said being agreeable.

"Well I just want to be sure to pick up enough food at the store. You know in case I am feeding the entire pack or just the four of us." I had seen how much food Emily prepared for the pack and if that was the case, I would be feeding them all, I needed to be prepared.

"I don't want you to have to go to all the trouble of feeding all of us."

"Emily does it everyday. I can do it once." I protested.

"How about we keep it small just us, Sam and Emily?"

"Sure if that's what you want. I'll stop at the store on my way home. Is there anything in particular you want me to make?"

"Nah, surprise me."

"Okay. Thanks again for breakfast." I said clearing my spot at the table. "See you tonight." I kissed him gently on the cheek.

"I love you, Bells." He whispered.

I wanted to respond. I wanted to return similar words yet they stuck in my throat. Without looking back to see Jacob's expression, I grabbed my bag and headed for the door.

My day at school was just a repeat of the previous day. I spent the bulk of my time avoiding the prying eyes and obvious stares of my classmates. Both Jessica and Mike were still hard on me for what was going on with Edward. Had he contacted me? What was I going to do about Jacob? What was Jacob going to do about Edward? I was getting a headache and just wanted them to go and leave me in peace. I had enough of my own questions rolling around in my head. I didn't need to add theirs to them.

I was relieved when I saw Angela entering the cafeteria. She was the one person who had found a way to have a conversation with me that centered neither on my marriage or Edward. "Hi," she said slipping into the seat across from me.

"Hi."

"It looks like Mr. Simons is going to be giving us a big Econ assignment," Angela groaned.

"What kind of assignment?" The last thing I wanted was some major project two months before graduation. I already had enough on my plate.

"According to Ben it's going to be a mock investment portfolio. You know stocks, bond, and mutual funds. We are supposed to watch the market and trade according to the trends." I let out a loud groan. "I know," Angela agreed with me. "The only good thing is we can pick a partner. I was thinking maybe we could be partners."

"I'd like that."

"Good." Angela smiled at me. "I was hoping you would."

"So Ben give you any good stock tips?" I joked.

"Not yet but I was thinking about picking his brain a bit since he does have class before us."

"Wouldn't that be considered insider trading?" I acted appalled by the thought while Angela blushed.

"I hadn't thought about it like that," she laughed. "Guess that wouldn't be fair huh?"

"I won't tell if you won't." We both laughed.

Angela and I spent the rest of lunch period talking and joking with each other. It felt good to just relax and enjoy myself without thinking too much. For those thirty short minutes my mind focused on neither Jacob nor Edward. I was just a typical high school senior looking to skate through the last two months of school.

The bell rang overhead and the cafeteria emptied quickly. I gathered my things and headed off to Economics behind Angela. Just as Angela predicted, Mr. Simons went into his long explanation about our final project to a chorus of groans from the room. Apparently most of the class felt the same way I did about a huge assignment this close to the end of the year. For the next forty minutes I took notes letting myself get lost in his lecture about reading the stock market, how to pick stocks, bonds, the benefits of a good diverse mutual fund, and when to buy or to sell. I figured if I was working with Angela on this she deserved my best.

"Bella," Mike's voice called from behind me. I hesitated for a second considering pretending like I hadn't heard him but he yelled for me again. "Bella."

"Yeah?" I turned around to face him.

"The Econ project..." he stammered like he did when he asked me to ask him to the girl's choice dance nearly a year and a half ago. "I was thinking that you and me," again he paused.

"I'm actually working with Angela." I cut him off before he could say anymore. "Ben gave her a heads about the assignment and she and I talked about it at lunch."

"Oh, okay." He tried to hide his disappointment. "I just didn't want you to be without a partner."

"I'm not," I assured him.

"Okay see ya around then." With that he was lopping off down the hallway.

"Bella," Again I heard my name being called from down the hall. To my relief it was Angela's voice that met my ears. Dragging Ben along with her she weaved through the crowded hall to where I was standing. "I wasn't sure what your schedule was like now that you are," she paused.

"Married?" I smiled offering the word that seemed to evade her.

"Yeah. I just wanted to know if maybe one night we could get together after school and hammer out some of the details of our investment portfolio."

"Of course. I work the rest of the week at Newton's but I bet we could squeeze something in. Let me check my schedule for sure and I will get back to you."

"Great. Okay see you tomorrow."

"Bye Angela. Ben," I nodded.

I looked down at my watch. I would have just enough time to get to the store and pick up what I needed to make dinner tonight. While I sat in English class not much paying attention I decided on Italian – stuffed shells, a nice salad and garlic bread and made my shopping list accordingly. Digging through my oversized bag for my keys a sight through the glass office window stopped me dead in my tracks – Alice Cullen.


	9. 8 Reactions

Quiet Rage: _Reactions_

**Alice's POV –**

I wondered if anyone in the family had caught on to my disappearance yet? I was pretty sure if Edward had he would have tried his best to stop me, but I didn't care. We were staying in Forks and I planned on picking up right were I left off – finishing my senior year of high school.

I flipped through the file in my hands – the records from my _"transfer"_ school. The story around Forks about our sudden exit was that Carlisle had accepted a prestigious position at a University Hospital outside of Los Angeles. I wasn't sure how we were going to explain our now sudden reappearance but I knew that Carlisle was good at the stories woven around what was our existence so I had no worries. Well none other than what Edward might do or say when he found out I had put myself right back in the middle of Bella's life – at least for the next few months.

I still couldn't wrap my head around the fact that she was married. It just didn't make any sense to me. I knew how much she loved my brother. I had seen her becoming one of us that was until Edward had taken away Bella's choice.

"Ms. Cullen," Mrs. Cope's voice was full of surprise when she looked up to see me standing in front of her.

"Hello." I handed over my transfer file.

"You're transferring back?" She was more than a little stunned.

"Yes, that's right."

"And your brother?" Mrs. Cope asked recalling Dr. Cullen's handsome youngest son.

"Eventually." I told her knowing full well that no matter what Edward said he wouldn't be able to stay away from Bella much longer. He never had the strength before I didn't imagine he could start now.

"It looks as though everything is in order. I will have to work your schedule up. I will try to keep it similar to the one you had prior to leaving earlier in the year. Come by in the morning and I should have it for you."

"Thank you, Mrs. Cope."

It was then that a loud crash from beyond the office door caught my attention. I lifted my eyes to glance out the office window when my gaze locked with Bella's. I couldn't help the smile that crossed my lips. How I had missed my dear friend.

Pushing open the heavy door with ease, I was scooping Bella in my arms hugging her tightly. She was still under my embrace staring at me like she had seen a ghost. "Bella," I said. "Breathe, Bella." Absently reaching for her books, Bella never took her eyes off of me almost like she thought I might evaporate into thin air if she did. "Are you all right?" She nodded as though she didn't trust her voice. "I missed you so much." I hugged her again.

It was then that I saw the thin gold band on her left hand. It wasn't that I hadn't believed Edward but seeing the evidence for myself made it all the more real. Bella must have followed my gaze because she pulled her hand quickly behind her back.

"You're back." I wasn't sure if she meant that to be a question or statement.

"Yes. We're all back." I saw her looking over my shoulder searching the thinning crowd surely for Edward. I could hear her pulse quicken as the speed of the blood in her veins increased. "He's not here, Bella." I hated to say those words and hated the noticeable drop in her expression even more.

"Oh," she said softly looking away from my eyes.

"Come home with me, Bella. Esme would love to see you, Carlisle too." She shook her head in protest. I didn't expect it to be that easy to get her to agree to come to our house. But my thinking was if Mohammad wouldn't go to the mountain then bring the mountain to Mohammad.

"How long have you been back?" she finally asked her eyes searching mine.

"Just a few days. We probably wouldn't have come back at all if Charlie hadn't arrested Edward." The minute I let that slip I regretted it. It wasn't hard to see the fury in Bella's chocolate silk eyes.

"What?" she asked me through clenched teeth. "Charlie did what?"

"Arrested Edward, Emmett's having a blast calling him jailbird. I don't think Edward will ever be able to live it down." I did my best to bring a smile to Bella's lips with my tale of Emmett's razing of Edward but her expression remained unchanged. It was pure rage. "Bella!" I called out to her retreating back. Man I didn't envy Charlie when his daughter got a hold of him.

**Edward's POV –**

Pacing had become common place for me lately. For as many times as I had passed over the front porch I should have worn a groove through the floor boards. Alice had up and disappeared and I knew that that wasn't good especially when I was certain she was shielding her thoughts from me.

"Finally," I hissed when I saw her car climb the drive getting closer with each passing second. "Where have you been?" I bounded off the porch with a leap standing in front of Alice before she had barely exited the car.

"Nice to see you too, Edward."

"Alice." My voice growled my mind probing hers only to be met with her recitation of the Greek alphabet over and over again. "Stop that!" I ordered only to be met with Alice's broadening smile. "Alice, where were you?"

_'wouldn't you like to know?'_ she thought smugly.

"Alice, enough! Where have you been?" My voice had a sharpness to it.

_'alpha, beta, gamma, delta, epsilon, zeta'_

"Very funny. You aren't going to be able to keep that up forever." I told her as she shielded her thoughts from me.

_'wanna bet? alpha, beta, gamma…'_

"You know you are being childish."

_'not any more than you,'_ she shouted silently at me.

"Just tell me where you were." I was exasperated by now.

_'i'm not sure you really want to know,'_

"I knew it," I groaned quietly. "You went to see her."

_'well sort of.'_

"What do you mean sort of?" She was still mixing the Greek alphabet in among her thoughts so that I wasn't getting a clear picture of what she had done.

_'i happened to run into her at the high school.'_

"The high school – what were you doing there?"

_'re-enrolling.'_

"WHAT!?!" I stared at her in disbelief. "You didn't."

_'i did. i wanted my diploma.'_

I almost snorted at her. If she had enrolled anywhere but Forks High School I could have believed that, but I knew better this had nothing to do with getting a simple piece of paper. "Like the three dozen you already have aren't enough?" I shot back bewildered.

She shrugged her shoulders in response giving me a slight smirk. I found myself filled with questions as my mind swirled with thoughts of Bella I couldn't control. "How is she?" I finally asked.

_'you mean besides stunned?'_ I just looked at my sister eyeing her warily quickly losing what little patience I had left. _'she's fine. aren't you going to ask me?' _I was silent. _'don't you want to know if she asked about you?'_

"No."

_'liar! she's still in love with you. and I didn't have to see the future to know that. if you're smart enough to get out of your own way there is still a chance for the two of you!'_

Alice left me standing alone as she went back to reciting the Greek alphabet leaving me to mull over what she said.

**Bella's POV –**

"Charlie!" I shouted entering the Forks Police Department. "Where's Chief Swan?" I huffed at the deputy behind the desk.

"Bells? What's the matter?" Charlie asked coming out of his office.

"Did you arrest Edward Cullen?" His stunned silence answered my question before he could. "Well did you?"

"Yes, yes I did. And I'd do it again if I thought it would help," he said smug and proud of himself.

I let out a frustrated groan. "What did you think you were going to prove by arresting him for heaven sakes?"

"That I could!" Charlie sounded childish when he spoke. It reminded me of some playground pissing contest between adolescent boys.

"Very mature, dad."

"He was the one with the expired registration. I was just doing my job." I knew now that Charlie was back pedaling trying to make me see his side of it all.

"You really don't expect me to believe that do you? Arrested for an expired registration? Get real!"

"I could have held him for forty-eight hours. I should have," he said under his breath.

"What good would that have done?"

"I don't want him sniffing around here messing with your life again Bella. You and Jacob have a chance at a good life, a happy life. I wasn't going to let him mess that up for you."

I closed my eyes and did my best to reign in my temper. I tried to remember what I had put my dad through for months. I was a virtual zombie and he attributed it entirely to Edward. He was looking for a way to protect me and I knew that even if it infuriated the hell out of me. "Arresting him isn't the answer," I told my dad softly.

"It was the best I could think of on such short notice." Charlie grinned and I couldn't help returning one.

"I love you dad, but you have to let me handle my own life now." I thought I sounded more sure of myself than I actually was but he didn't need to know that.

"I just want you to be happy, Bells."

"I am," I lied. Looking at the clock hanging on the wall I realized how late it actually was. Between running into Alice and scolding my father I had lost about an hour. "I have to go."

"What's the hurry?"

"Sam and Emily are coming over for dinner and I still need to get to the store. I'm going to be late."

"Okay, tell Jacob I said hello."

"Sure thing."

My original plans for dinner wouldn't work now. There was no way in the amount of time I had could I pull off lasagna that would take a half hour to prepare and an hour to bake. I walked around the grocery store in search of plan 'B' all the while my thoughts wandered to the Cullens to Edward.

I didn't even have to close my eyes and I could see his statue like figure in front of me. His bronze tousled hair and matching eyes, his chiseled features and dazzling smile all but inundated me. My chest constricted remembering Alice telling he wasn't there. He hadn't come, he wasn't going to come and I knew it that only made my pain intensify. It was like losing him all over again.

I gripped the shopping cart tightly holding back the flow of tears that pooled behind my eyes. I wasn't sure I could live through this a second time. Shaking off those thoughts I had to concentrate on the task at hand – shopping for dinner. I looked at my watch realizing that I was now even later. Quickly I grabbed a rotisserie chicken, a bag of potatoes and rolls and hurried to the check out thinking all the while that I had ruined my first attempt at putting my marriage, Jacob, first.

**Jacob's POV –**

I pulled back the curtains for what seemed like the hundredth only to find the spot where Bella's truck should be parked empty. I glanced at the clock she was two hours late. There was no way it could be taking her this long at the grocery store. I squeezed my hands into tight fists and paced the four corners of the room once more.

I picked up the roar of the Chevy's tired engine in the distance finally. Bella was still about a half mile away. I took a few deep breaths trying to control the monster inside of me.

"Oh good, Emily and Sam aren't here yet." Bella breezed passed me quickly heading for the kitchen. A faint sweet smell followed her but first not without assaulting me.

"What took you so long?" I asked hearing the quiver in my voice.

"I got hung up after school and then with Charlie. Time just got away from me." Her voice wafted in from the next room.

"You were with Charlie?" I called to her.

"Yes, at the station."

"What for?"

"I needed to discuss a few things with him." Her voice sounded hesitant to me.

"Like what?" I tried to hold my breath as I entered the kitchen but nothing I did erased the sweet vampire stench that encircled her.

"Do you think we could talk about this later? I really could use your help getting things set up." She said distracted as she moved about the kitchen pulling together dinner as quickly as she could.

I felt a ripple run up and down my spine as I desperately tried to control my emotions. "I think we should talk about it now. Who were you really with?"

"I told you Charlie."

"WHO WERE YOU WITH BELLA?!" Before I was able to stop myself or perhaps even knew what I was doing my hands threw her against counter. Losing her balance I watched almost in slow motion as Bella's hip crashed hard into the corner of the tile counter. Her instant painful scream filled my ears.

A knock at the door stopped me in my tracks. I looked at Bella her fearful eyes staring back at me as she held the left side of her body. "I'm coming," I yelled.

"We brought dessert." Emily offered a beautiful cake. "I'll just put it in the kitchen and see if I can help Bella."

"No let me do that." I said taking the plate from her. "Get comfortable." I could feel Sam's weary eyes on me but I shook them off. I was sure like me he could smell the stink filling my house. It was embarrassing. "Bella," I said loudly heading to the kitchen. "Look, Emily brought us dessert."

The conversation at dinner was quiet. Mostly it was Sam and I talking to one another. I watched Emily eyeing Bella as she barely touched her food. She merely moved it from one side of the plate to the other. A few times I caught Sam looking at me quizzically and I was glad the ability to read one another's thoughts didn't extend to our human form."How about that dessert?" I said aloud.

"I'll get it," Bella answered softly rising slowly from her seat. I could tell she was trying hard not to limp and a stab of guilt washed over me.

The rest of the night was strained as both Emily and Sam sensed something was going on. By the time they left I felt even more on edge. Bella quietly cleaned up the kitchen and headed to our room without as much as a word to me. This angered all the more. And in my mind this was far from over.

"Bella!" I pushed the door open and it crashed against the wall with a resounding thud. She kept her back to me. "Bella, look at me!" I demanded. When she didn't comply I grabbed her arm swinging her around to face me. My fingers wound themselves around her upper arms again and she gasped. "I won't let you make a fool of me! Do you understand? I'm nobody's fool especially not _his_! I'm not going to have _him_ – all of_ them_ laughing at me!"

My rage got the better of me and in one swift action I sent Bella's body sailing across the bed. Her feet and arms failing as she looked for a way to stop herself from falling. It was the corner of the nightstand that stopped her gouging deeply into her back. Suddenly the room was silent around me. It was that silence that forced me to stop and realize that Bella was unconscious on the other side of the bed.


	10. 9 Consciousness

Quiet Rage:  _Consciousness_

**Bella's POV –**

The thump – thump – thump at the back of my head beckoned my eyes to remain closed. I wondered if this is what a hangover might feel like. If I hadn't known better I would have truly believed there was a jackhammer doing its best to crack my skull. Slowly my eyelids inched open and immediately the light of day assaulted me making what was already an excruciating headache even worse.

I was trying to bring my memories back into focus but at the moment they weren't more than a jumbled frenzy of events. There was Alice at school, Charlie at the police station, dinner last night. I rolled over and pain shot through my left hip. The image of my body crashing into the kitchen counter bombarded me. I reached for my back feeling as though something was stuck to it. My fingers tugged at my shirt instantly wishing I hadn't. I felt the fabric tear from my skin and without delay blood come forth. I held back a gasp when I saw the large red brown blood stain on the white sheets. The recollection of what happened after Emily and Sam had left overtook me. My breathing suddenly was erratic. I was at the beginning of a panic attack and I knew it. But it wasn't until I turned and saw Jacob sitting on the corner of the bed watching me that I truly lost it.

Not taking notice of the piercing agony that filled every inch of my body, I scrambled away from him as far as I was able. I pushed back the tears that threatened to fall when my bare feet touched the floor and a lightening bolt of pain shot through my hip. My head felt heavy and I was instantly sick to my stomach as the room spun around me.

"Bella," Jacob's voice followed his body as I reached to steady myself against the wall. "Let me help you." He offered coming closer toward me.

"Stay away from me," I whispered wishing I could press myself into the cold wall.

"Bella, please let me help you." He begged me yet I didn't want to look into his black eyes so full of remorse. The pain resonated in my head causing my vision to blur for a moment. "Bella," Jacob's voice was softer this time as his hand reached for my arm. I knew he was trying to steady me since I was sure I was about to fall at any second. The minute his hot touch made contact with my cool skin I shivered and felt the bile rise high in my throat. Again I fought against a wave of nausea.

"Don't touch me," my voice shook as I pulled my arm away.

"Bella, I'm sorry." I almost thought he was on the verge of tears.

"GET AWAY FROM ME!" Where I found the strength to shout at him I wasn't sure but I think I stunned him. "STAY AWAY FROM ME!"

Jacob raised his hands in the air tentatively looking like a criminal fearful of the SWAT team standing in front of him. Almost bouncing like a pinball between the various obstacles in my way, I made it into the bathroom and fumbled with the lock behind me. It wasn't like that simple lock could have kept Jacob out if he really wanted in but somehow momentarily that action gave me solace.

My hand reached around to the back of my head and my fingers found the source of my headache, a monstrous lump. Even my light touch caused me pain the area was so tender. Fumbling through the medicine cabinet I found a bottle of aspirin and dumped a half a dozen into my palm. I doubted that anything would make this pain go away but I needed something to at least dull it.

Reaching behind the stiff plastic shower curtain, I turned on the shower letting the hot water fill the room with steam. Once again removing my shirt brought forth more pain. The wound I had reopened earlier crusted over and now I was forced to rip it open again. I gritted my teeth heavy breaths escaping my nostrils willing myself not to scream out in anguish.

Trying my best I turned my head to survey the damage to my back in the mirror behind me. As woozy as I was it was easy to see the deep gash to the right side of my back. It was crusted with blood and various shades of yellow, blue and purple. I swallowed hard at the sight of my own blood and gripped the vanity counter tightly hoping that I wouldn't faint.

The last wave of lightheadedness passed and I stepped into the shower under the stream of scalding water. The second the blistering water hit my back I couldn't hold back a scream. I looked down as the water swirling around my feet suddenly had a red tinge. I stood there for what seemed like forever letting the water assault me until the once scorching water ran cold.

Relief flooded me when I exited the bathroom and found Jacob gone. I stuffed the half full bottle of aspirin in the pocket of my jacket and made my way into the living room. It was there that I found him sitting on the edge of the sofa looking anxious. Slinging my bag over my shoulder I was careful to avoid the open wound on my back. I had done the best I could to cover it with a bandage. The weight of my heavy bag caused me to stumble and Jacob was on his feet in a second.

"What do you think you're doing?" His tone was somewhere between worried and annoyed.

My body tensed as he approached me. "I'm going to school."

"I don't think that's such a great idea. You can barely stand up."

"I'm going to school!" It took all the strength I had to put one foot in front of the other and make it through the door without a single falter in my steps. The last place I wanted to be right now was LaPush – with Jacob.

**Jacob's POV –**

I stood fixated to the floor until the sound of Bella's truck wasn't more than a faint rumble in the great distance. I should have gone after her. I should have done more to stop her from leaving. I knew she wasn't in any condition to drive, but the look of fear in her wild wide eyes when she even glanced at me made my stomach lurch – that I let her go.

Walking into our bedroom, my eyes were drawn to the large blood stain at the center of the bed. I ran my fingers over the dried area and tasted the acid from my stomach burn my tongue. Bella's blood, blood I caused, made the white cotton fabric stiff under my digits. What the hell was happening to me? How had I turned into this person?

I picked up one of the pillows and buried my nose deep within its soft folds. Bella's sweet strawberry scent filled my senses. I loved her. What was I doing? The brown red spot taunted me. It forced me to think about how it had ended up there in the first place.

As much as I wanted to erase the images from my mind they ticked off behind my eyes like a scenes on a movie reel. I hadn't meant to push her, nor did I mean for her to go flying over the bed. It all happened so fast that I couldn't do anything to stop her when she came down hard against the nightstand. But it was the image of Bella lying motionless on the floor that was seared into my mind. I scrambled to her when my senses finally kicked in. Cradling her head in my lap I remember relief overflowing from me when I realized she was breathing. The blood from the wound on her back smeared across my skin when I picked her up laying her across our bed.

I was torn as I sat there throughout the night watching Bella closely. She was so still for such a long time that I almost scooped her up and brought her to the hospital. I didn't know if she was dying while I sat watching, but then she started to stir now and again and I reigned in the urgency of having her checked out by a doctor.

How was I supposed to explain what happened? Would Bella go along with what I might have said or would she have told the truth? Would she have said that I had been the one to hurt her? I couldn't take that chance. I just couldn't. So there I sat watching my wife, the woman I loved toss and moan throughout the night all because of me.

No I thought! It wasn't entirely my fault. I hadn't been the one sneaking around with someone else! I wasn't the one coming home reeking of vampire stench. That was all her. What was I supposed to do – just pretend that I wasn't losing her to _him_? I was the one who had never left her. I was the one who had stayed and picked up the pieces when _he_ was gone. What did she expect? What did she want from me? How far did she think she could push me before I would react?

I raked my hands across the bed stopping only momentarily over the crimson stain before angrily ripping the sheets from the bed. I could no longer handle their taunting or the reminder of what I had done.

**Alice's POV –**

I looked on at the curious stares from my former classmates as I entered the front door of Forks High School. I smiled and nodded wondering what they were thinking and wishing that Edward had been there to tell me. He was still sulking over my decision to return to school so I could complete my _"senior"_ year.

I did my best to talk him into joining me but he was remaining stubborn as usual when he thought what he was doing was for the best. I still wished he would get out of his own way and just allow himself the happiness he deserved.

"Good morning, Mrs. Cope," I said to the middle aged woman behind the desk.

"Hello, Alice. How are you this morning? I have your schedule here somewhere." she returned shuffling through a pile of papers in front of her.

"I'm fine thank you." I was looking out the office window hoping that I would run into Bella this morning. As much as I wanted to bring her and Edward back together, no matter her marital status, I really had missed her. She was more like a sister to me than Rosalie.

"Ah, here it is. As you can see most of your classes will be the same as before your transfer."

"Thank you Mrs. Cope. That was very nice of you to do that for me."

"You're welcome dear." The older woman gave me a broad smile as she handed me my schedule.

I walked into English class and glanced at the seat that I knew to be Bella's. It was empty. I weaved effortlessly through the desks amid stares and what most people would have considered hushed whispers to the seat that once was mine still sitting vacant. Most of the muted buzz was more about Edward than it was me. Apparently he had been the topic of much conversation. Not that that surprised me he always had been.

I slid into my seat keeping my eyes trained on the door watching for Bella to make her less than graceful entrance. Yet when I did finally see her something seemed more off with her than usual. Her steps faltered and she reached out first for the door frame and then a bookcase and finally her desk. She was much more dazed, woozy even, than I ever remember her being.

I tried to get her attention throughout class but she kept her head down resting in her hands almost like she was in pain. I did my best to probe her future yet her decisions were all over the place. In fact I couldn't make heads or tails of any of it and admittedly that worried me.

I heard my name being called and I was forced to draw my attention away from Bella. Thankfully for me Senior English had been one of favorite classes during my many high school careers and I didn't skip a beat in answering the question asked of me. But when I turned around as the bell rang signaling the end of class Bella was already gone. Quickly I gathered my things and headed for the corridor. Still nothing, no Bella. Since when had she gotten to be so swift, I thought to myself.

I sat down on a bench outside and cleared my mind so that I could focus on Bella and her alone. However all that I was getting were disjointed images that didn't seem to fit together in any possible way. I couldn't even get a handle on where she even was. I fought the urge to call to Edward. No matter what he had been saying I knew he would want to know if something was wrong with Bella.

I held off telling myself that I would wait until lunch before I jumped to any conclusions. She had a lot to deal with it was no surprise that she was a little confused. I mean seriously she's married to a werewolf, her vampire soul mate had returned and then I show up out of the blue anyone would be a little upside down. I needed to give Bella a little bit of time to process it all.

By the time the lunch period had rolled around, I still didn't have a better idea of where Bella was or what she was doing, thinking even. I walked through the cafeteria doors and searched the sea of faces hoping to find Bella among them. No such luck. "Bella where are you?" I said aggravated.

Walking across the floor I headed in the direction of where Mike Newton and a few others sat chatting and goofing the way seniors often did in the later stages of the year. "Mike, can I talk to you?" I said.

"Me?" There was noticeable shock in his voice.

"Yes. Have you see Bella?"

"I figured when she ran out of English it was to go hook up with your brother."

How could I have forgotten Mike Newton's animosity towards Edward? And what made me even remotely think that he would be of any help. "Forget it." I said turning my back on the group and let them speculate under their breath about Edward, Bella and her now husband.

Frustrated with my failing abilities again I forced myself to focus intently on Bella. Still all I could muster was more disjointed thoughts and visions. What if she was dodging me purposely? She knew very well how my visions worked. There was a very good chance she didn't want me to know her next move. She had done that before when we were dealing with the whole James thing. That thought made me shudder. "Damn it, Bella."

I headed to the parking lot. There was no way that I could just sit at school for the rest of the day. I wasn't sure what to do. I wanted to tell Edward but instead decided on speaking to Carlisle first. In times like this his rational ways were exactly what I needed. I could only imagine the deep end Edward would go off if I even suggested that something happened to Bella. Yes, Carlisle was a much better choice.

As I descended the stairs, my gaze met with who I assumed was Jacob Black. I had only met him briefly but there was no doubt in my mind that this was him. I saw a worried look on his face and my stomach dropped. I saw him visibly quiver as he got closer and turn his head away from me.

"If you are looking for Bella, she's not here." I said not worrying about being polite.

His eyes widened at my remark and his jaw tightened. "What do you mean she's not here?" I wasn't sure if his voice held contempt or concern.

"She's not here. She left early this morning. As a matter a fact she wasn't looking well." I still hadn't been able to shake the thought that even for Bella her clumsiness was off.

"What do you mean?" Suddenly I heard nervousness in his tone.

I stood silent feeling as though there was more going on and the person standing before me knew much more than he was letting on. Yet there was no way for me to follow his thoughts and decisions. Maybe that's why I was having such a hard time with Bella, could she have taken on that werewolf characteristic? I shook my head to dispel such a thought.

"Well what do you expect? She's got to deal with _him_ and _your_ family all over again! Of course she's feeling sick."

I didn't like the way Jacob referred to Edward as him or the tone he used when speaking of my family. "Some how I am thinking it doesn't have anything to do with Edward," He cringed at my brother's name. "or any of us for that matter."

"Whatever! Just know this she's my wife and I'm not giving her up without a fight!"

I watched his retreating form sprint across the lot to where his little VW Rabbit sat. He gunned the engine quickly and sped away leaving me standing there my mind full of too many suspicions and none of them good.


	11. 10 Despair and Apologies

Quiet Rage: _Mishaps and Apologies_

**Carlisle's POV –**

It felt odd yet comforting to be back at Forks General. It was as though I had never really left. When I approached the Chief of Staff telling him that Los Angeles held little appeal for me and my family, he graciously offered me the position I had left behind and complete privileges without a second thought.

This morning I walked through the automatic sliding doors, rode the elevator to the second floor and found my old office vacant all but a large fruit basket on the desk with a card from the staff with their well wishes and happiness at having me back on staff. I had to admit now in the privacy of my own mind that it had been hard to pick up and leave Forks. Edward was so adamant about all of us leaving after that fateful night of Bella's birthday. Part of me understood his reasoning; he truly did believe that by removing himself – all of us – from her life that she would have a normal one. I honestly don't believe that my son realized how much he would be losing by letting go of his soul mate.

I could no more walk away from Esme, Jasper from Alice or Emmett from Rosalie. Why Edward thought that he could be stronger I didn't know. Yes, he had proven great strength when it came to Bella but losing her had been at a great cost for him. Apparently it had cost her just as much. Bella was married at eighteen to a werewolf no less. That thought still threw me. Yes, my family had found a way to coexist with the Quiletes but it still seemed foreign to me the idea of Bella married to one. That thought pained me if not just for her but Edward as well.

For all of the apprehensions Edward had about involving Bella in our world, I had never seen him happier when he was with her. She was his soul mate. She completed him in ways no one had been able to before. I also truly believed that he did the same for her. She never shied away from our world. She took it all in stride and loved him just the same. That was rare if not unheard of. Most of the time humans steered clear of us and while curious it was always from a safe distance.

I tried my best to talk some sense into him. He would never know what was really in Bella's heart if he never spoke to her. But he was adamant, stubborn in his conviction that Bella had made her choice. I however vehemently disagreed with him. All his reappearance and then sudden disappearance had proven was that he left again. No matter how many times I tried to get him to see that he refused.

I couldn't even begin to imagine what was going through Bella's mind. All that she had gone through, giving her heart to a vampire, being tracked and terrorized by James, a simple paper cut inciting a near riot on her birthday and to top it off Edward lying and telling her he didn't love her. Of course she was stunned. What human wouldn't be?

My heart felt heavy for my son. He was in agony and that agony radiated from him. I was well aware that it was difficult for Jasper to be around him lately. Edward's pain was palpable. If he would only allow himself the happiness he deserved.

"Come in," the knock on my door forced me from my thoughts. Alice stepped over the threshold closing the door softly behind her. "What is it?" I had seen similar looks cross her features before. "Is it Edward?" I wasn't sure what he had been contemplating lately sequestered in his room so much.

"I don't know," Alice told me honestly.

"You don't know?" I echoed.

"Something's wrong, Carlisle. I can feel it. I just can't see it." Her tone was exasperated.

"Come sit." I motioned to the chair next to me as I rested against the edge of the large cherry desk. "Tell me." I urged.

"Something is wrong with Bella….I think."

It was unusual for Alice to be so unsure of what she was seeing. I could tell she was more than a little worried. "Something's wrong? Like what?"

"That's just it, I don't know. She was just off this morning. I mean we all know that she's pretty clumsy but this was different. She looked sick."

"There are a couple strains of viruses going around right now," I informed her in my soft doctor voice. "That could be the…"

"No not sick like that. She just seemed like she was in a fog, kind of dazed, even in pain a little. I don't know Carlisle but I can't get a vision on her. She left school early this morning and it's like I am blind now. All I am getting are these disjointed images that I can't make sense of."

I rested my hand lightly on her shoulder knowing that she was filled with desperation. "It's okay, Alice."

"No, it's not. What if something's wrong? What if something happened to her? Edward will never…." She trailed off.

"I know," I agreed with her unspoken thought.

"I was going to call him. I know no matter what he says he'd want to know. But what am I supposed to tell him? I _think_ something's wrong. What should I do Carlisle?"

Bringing my hand to my face I rubbed my fingers across my hard jaw line. I knew that Alice was right Edward would be driven to madness if anything happened to Bella. It only made matters worse that Alice wasn't able to pinpoint a given situation. "You were right to hold off in calling Edward. He's not in any condition to handle something like this. Did you try calling Charlie?" Alice shook her head no. "What about Jacob? Could she have gone home to be with her husband?" Just saying that felt like a betrayal to my son.

"He came to school looking for her. He was shaken when I mentioned to him I thought she wasn't feeling well. He scoffed at me something about it being our family's fault if she was feeling sick."

"I can see why he would feel that way." I hadn't stopped wondering what was going through the young werewolf's head after Edward had showed up at his wedding ceremony.

"Dr. Cullen," a voice from the intercom stopped any further conversation between Alice and I.

"Yes," I said reaching over my desk pressing the large white button.

"You're needed in the ER; apparent head trauma."

"I'm on my way. Alice, I have to go. Don't do anything until I get back. We will figure out what to do together." Again she nodded.

I pulled back the curtain in trauma one and my eyes widened. There on the gurney lay Bella. It took me a minute to gather my thoughts. Pulling myself together I asked the attending for her vitals and what if anything they knew about what happened.

I was told that she was brought in by an anonymous individual. They hadn't stuck around to give much information except that they had found her passed out in the front seat of her vehicle. Quickly I passed my small pen light over her eyes – equal and reactive. That was a good sign. There were two large bruises, almost handprints, on her upper arms. In further examination I found a large lump at the base of her head. "Call up to radiology." I ordered the nurse beside me. "I need to get a head CT. She's got a pretty nasty bump on the back of her head."

"Yes, Dr. Cullen."

"Bella," I whispered. "Honey, can you hear me?" I tried to concentrate and treat her as I would any other patient but that was a difficult task. Edward had made Bella part of our family and I loved her too.

I went on with my assessment. The only other thing I was able to find was a very large gash on her back. It looked like someone had tried to clean it up but hadn't succeeded all that well. I didn't know how long it had been there but it was inflamed. I was pretty sure that an infection was beginning to set in.

"I'll take care of that doctor," the nurse beside me said as I began the painstaking task of cleaning the wound.

"No, I'll do it." I was thankful that Bella was unconscious. The last thing I wanted to do was cause her any sort of discomfort and I was sure that my tugging at the fibers intermixed in the wound would have caused quite a great deal of pain.

Satisfied with my work I dressed the area in a light bandage and made note on her chart that IV antibiotics would be administered once she returned from her head CT. I was a little worried that she was still unconscious, especially seeing as how I didn't know how long she had been out. "Put a rush on the results," I instructed the orderly as they wheeled Bella out of the room.

"Will do, doc."

What was I supposed to do now? I knew the right thing, the ethical thing. I should call Bella's husband. I should call her father. But the only thing that came to mind was calling Edward. What I was going to say to him evaded me yet I walked to the phone hanging by the door and placed that call just the same.

**Edward's POV –**

There wasn't anywhere in the house that I could escape thoughts, memories of Bella but my room was the worst. Yet there I sat just the same drowning in my recollections. I drew my knees against my hard chest and let out a heavy sigh remembering the day that I had given her a tour of my home. She was thrilled by the amount of music that I had amassed over my years in existence. I was admittedly shocked that she recognized Clair de Lune. If I hadn't known it before that moment I certainly did after that Bella wasn't like anyone I had ever met.

She was truly an old soul. She told me once that's what her mother had called her and I believed that. She was nothing like any of the teenaged girls I had encountered in my countless trips through high school. She was keen, observant yet sensitive all at the same time. She was stronger and braver than she would ever give herself credit for. She had willingly walked straight into the face of danger with James. She had been willing to give her life for that of her mother. I cringed at the memories that flooded me of that day in Phoenix – Bella lying battered and nearly broken brought a growl from the center of my chest.

I nearly lost her that afternoon. I promised to never leave her again. I promised to love her forever. At least I had kept one promise I thought even if she didn't realize it. I tried to focus on my resolve to only want Bella's happiness. I didn't have to agree with it or even understand it but I pledged to myself that if she was happy I would leave her to her life. And as much as it pained me to do so – that's what I intended.

I looked over at the vibrating cell phone as it called to me for about the hundredth time that morning. I looked at the display and Carlisle's name scrolled before my eyes. I was just about ready to silence the electronic device when an odd feeling washed over me and I instead answered it. "Yes Carlisle?" I was prepared for another lengthy lecture concerning how he felt I should be handling things with Bella.

"I have some news, but I am not quite sure how…" I heard his voice falter.

"Carlisle?" I was suddenly standing upright my senses very much alert.

"Edward, it's Bella."

"What?" Urgency filled my tone.

"Bella's been hurt… …"

If Carlisle had continued speaking I hadn't heard a word of it. I was out of the house as if I had been shot out of a cannon. The thoughts of the rest family inundated me but I shrugged them off without a reply. I was in my Volvo and speeding towards Forks General. I didn't care that I was breaking the maximum speed limits and god help Charlie Swan if he tried to pull me over this time.

Carlisle's words that Bella had been hurt swirled around in my head. I instantly saw horrible images in my mind of all the things that could have happened to her. I was well aware if I had still been human I would have been fighting the urge to throw up at any second.

Swerving in and out of the slower traffic, I picked off each car in front of me methodically as I wove my way toward Forks General. I skidded into the ambulance bay not even caring that my car didn't belong there all that was on my mind was getting to Bella – the rest be damned.

"Bella Swan…where is she?" I asked the woman in scrubs sitting behind the desk. "Bella Swan, where is she?" I growled.

"Edward," Carlisle's ever calm voice called to me.

"How is she?" I turned closing the gap between us. He was silent for too long for my liking. "Oh God, Carlisle, she's not…" I couldn't even bring myself to say the word I was thinking.

"No, son, she's very much alive."

I closed my eyes allowing overwhelming relief to consume me. "What happened?" I questioned.

"Honestly I don't really know. We were given very little information when she was brought in. All I know for sure is whoever found her said she was passed on in her truck."

"Whoever brought her in?" I was noticeably confused.

"The person didn't leave their name."

I couldn't help but think that was pretty strange in a town this small. Mostly everyone in Forks knew who Bella was let alone that her father was the Chief of Police. "How is she?"

"She has a severe concussion, some bruising and a rather large gash on her back." My head was swimming as it tried to make sense out of what Carlisle was telling me. "I am concerned that she's still unconscious."

I knew what he was thinking even though he didn't want to say it aloud. He feared the longer she was unconscious the more likely that she could slip into a coma. That thought sent a shock through my stone heart. "Can I see her?"

"Of course, Alice is sitting with her at the moment."

"You haven't called her father or Jacob?" I questioned to his silent thoughts.

"No son, I haven't. I should have but…"

"You called me first?"

"Yes."

"Thank you," I told him softly. Carlisle usually the consummate professional would have normally called a patient's next of kin but instead he fought his own better judgment and gave me an opportunity I wasn't so sure I deserved.

I reached Bella's room I stopped short my palm resting against the door that separated me from the one that owned my heart. Pushing it open the bright light from the corridor illuminated the dim room. Immediately Alice was on her feet arms wrapped around my neck. "Oh Edward, I'm so sorry. I knew something was wrong but I couldn't see it. I just kept getting all these weird pictures that didn't fit together."

"Ssshhh," I ran my hand over her spiky dark hair hoping to soothe her. "Ssshhh, Alice."

"I should have tried harder to see." Alice scolded herself.

"Any change?" I asked removing myself from my sister's tangling embrace.

"No."

Quickly I dropped my body into the chair Alice vacated my eyes never leaving Bella's ashen face. Pushing a stray piece of her thick chestnut locks away from her eyes my skin felt even icier against her warm flesh. She looked so peaceful lying there just like she did all those nights while I watched her sleeping in her room. I tried to convince myself she was merely sleeping and that she would wake up at any minute and comment on how she probably looked like a sight.

Alice rested her hands on my shoulders giving them a gentle squeeze. "Carlisle said she's going to be fine. She just needs to rest."

I loved the way she tried to reassure me even though in her own thoughts she was as frightened as I was that there was a chance we could lose Bella forever. I choked on that thought.

"Would you mind telling Esme and the others what is happening? I didn't give them much before racing over here. I am sure they, at least Esme, are worried."

"Sure. You don't want me to stay?" Her eyes probed mine.

"I'm fine."

"She still loves you Edward. I know she does no matter what turn her life has taken."

"Thank you, Alice." I knew she meant well and I wanted to believe her yet at the moment all that mattered was Bella waking up. If she did at least that much then I would be grateful even if she went back to her life with Jacob Black.

I waited until I heard the soft swish of the door finally closing before I took Bella's delicate hand in my much larger one. I stroked it lightly as I had done countless times. Her skin against mine felt good. It felt right. "Oh Bella," If I had been able to cry I was sure that tears would have been escaping my eyes. "Oh my love, what happened to you?" I questioned hoping that by some miracle she would answer me. However still she remained.

I saw the bruises that Carlisle had mentioned. They were so severe that they were nearly black and had a vague shape of a handprint to them. I felt my anger resonate from within recalling that night in Port Angeles when she was nearly attacked. Had that been what happened this time. The thought of someone, anyone trying to hurt Bella sent me into a wild rage in my mind.

Clenching my jaw tightly I attempted to reign in my emotions. At the moment I wouldn't allow myself to focus on anything but Bella. As I sat ever so close to her I was overcome by all that I had lost by leaving her. She was hurt and I hated seeing her like this I also all of the sudden felt whole again. Like the pieces all magically fit together again. Gently I brushed my cool lips across her forehead. "Oh how I have missed you, my love. I can't ever apologize enough for leaving you. I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought you would get over the hurt." Maybe you did, I thought as I recalled the end of the marriage ceremony I had witnessed. "I wish I could take it all back. I should have never left you. I thought I could go on without you as long as I knew you were happy. I was wrong. I barely functioned all those months without you. I wandered from place to place looking for something anything to fill the hole your absence created in me. But nothing worked my love – not until this very moment did I feel whole again."

I resisted the urge to crawl into the bed alongside of her. I wanted to cradle her in my arms the way I used to. I wasn't sure if it was more for my own comfort or that I wanted her to know that I was there. I thought maybe if she could just feel me. But I stayed seated only cupping her hand in mind stroking her arm gently avoiding the bruised areas as much as I could. I wasn't sure if she could feel pain in her current state or not but I didn't want to take that chance.

"I love you Bella. I have never loved anyone in my whole existence the way that I love you. I was a fool to think that I could walk away. Please, please forgive me." My voice took on a higher pitched, like a cry of a frightened animal and I laid my head against the edge of her bed letting my breaths come out in heavy bursts.

I wasn't sure how long I stayed like that before I felt a light touch running through my tangled hair. Slowly I lifted my head and my eyes locked with the most beautiful brown eyes I had ever seen.

"Edward." My angel spoke.


	12. 11 Secrets

Quiet Rage: _Secrets_

**Jacob's POV –**

I peered out the window staring at the fading evening sun splashing brilliant hues across the darkening sky. I forced my eyes to avoid the empty space in the driveway where Bella's truck should have been parked by now. Suddenly I was filled with so much remorse that I was sure I was about to explode at any moment. While the physical, tangible evidence of what had happened the night before had been cleared away my memories were still very vivid. Dropping the curtain to shroud the room in darkness, I fell onto the sofa trying to decide what I should do next.

"Jake, hey Jake, man you in there?" Sam's voice was followed by a loud thud against the wooden door. I ran my hands over my tired face and thought for a moment if I was just quiet enough he would go away. No such luck. "Jake," he hollered again. Against my better judgment I opened the door. "Oh hey, you are here."

"Yeah," my tone short.

"Is everything okay?" he asked looking over my shoulder. "Emily and I were worried when you and Bella didn't show up for dinner with the rest of us."

Emily, I thought – had she told Sam what she witnessed a few days ago? Did the man standing in front of me know what I had done? Was he wondering like me what I was capable of? And if he didn't know how would he react if and when he did find out? I had been inside Sam's head enough to realize the agony he lived with each and everyday over what had happened to Emily at his hand.

I wasn't Sam, I assured myself silently. I wasn't just haphazardly losing control. I was being provoked, taunted even. How else was I supposed to react? Bella was my wife; she belonged to me – not _HIM_! "We were busy," I told him a lame attempt as explaining our absence.

"Busy?" Sam echoed.

"Yeah…why…what do you want?" Aggravation was getting the better of me.

Sam gave me a strange look. I imagined it was due to my sudden strange outburst. "I wanted to update you on our recent patrol of the border."

"And?" I pressed him.

"Nothing new really. The only one that seems to ever leave the house besides the doc lately is the one that can see the future." Sam faltered searching his mind for a name.

"Alice." I offered.

"Yeah, her, and that's only been just recently the last couple days."

I didn't have to speculate where Alice had been going thanks to my trip into town this afternoon. She was back in school with Bella. A twinge of guilt flinched from within but I wouldn't allow myself to dwell on it. How would I have known that it was Alice's stink and not _his_? I wouldn't.

"Anything else?" I asked. I noticed Sam's hesitation at my question. "Well?"

"Like I said no one's really leaving the house except for today." Sam stopped again looking for the right words.

"What?" I heard my gruff voice press for confirmation of what my mind already knew.

"Edward…he finally went out. And it wasn't something casual. He was frantic. We were lucky to see him at all he was moving that fast."

I watched Sam as he waited for my explosion. The explosion never came. I knew where _he_ had rushed off to. I was surprised it had taken as long at it had. I half expected to run into him as I was leaving but I hadn't.

"Jacob, where's Bella?" Sam glanced around the darkened living room.

I suddenly wished we were in wolf form just so I could hear his thoughts. Again I wondered how much, if anything, Emily had told her husband. I held on tightly to my fluctuating emotions. Part of me knew I should allow my temper to flare, to keep up the façade that I had had previously yet another stronger part of me couldn't. I wasn't able to wrap my mind around the guilt I all of the sudden felt crushing me.

"Jake?" Sam's voice pried me from my thoughts. "Where's Bella?" he sounded more hesitant now and began moving further into the room as though he was about to go searching for her.

"She's working," I lied.

"Oh." I didn't know if Sam believed me or not but I didn't much care.

I did my best to press down the hate I felt for myself at the moment. I tried not to picture Bella unconscious. I tried not to remember how her limp body felt draped in my arms. How could someone I loved so much make me so angry? Why was this happening? Why hadn't _he_ just stayed gone? I clenched my fists tightly at my sides swallowing hard around the lump in my throat blocking my breathing.

"Jake, you okay?"

How was I supposed to answer Sam's simple question? I didn't even know how. But I did so just the same. "I'm fine. I'll take tonight's patrol." I informed him.

"I'll run with you." He offered.

"No!" The last thing I wanted or needed was him in my thoughts. If he didn't already know what I was capable of he surely would when our minds linked. I couldn't have that. "No, you go home to Emily. You've done your part already."

"I don't mind besides Emily understands."

"I said NO!"

Sam put his hands up in the air as if to signal he was backing off. "Okay, man whatever. Howl if you need anything."

"Will do." I couldn't push Sam out the door fast enough. I listened for Sam's heavy footsteps to fade into the distance before I stripped down to nothing and opened the door. I took in a deep breath of the crisp night air and let a shudder roll through me. Two legs became four and I was off running with the wind at my back pushing me to any place that I could forget what I had done.

**Bella's POV –**

Was I dreaming? I had to be since I heard Edward's velvet voice whispering softly in my ear. My body felt heavy and my head was encircled by a dense fog. I had to be dreaming as I heard my Edward speak again.

"_I love you Bella. I have never loved anyone in my whole existence the way that I love you. I was a fool to think that I could walk away. Please, please forgive me." _

I was most definitely dreaming. Edward didn't love me. He left me.

"_I wish I could take it all back. I should have never left you. I thought I could go on without you as long as I knew you were happy. I was wrong. I barely functioned all those months without you. I wandered from place to place looking for something anything to fill the hole your absence created in me. But nothing worked my love – not until this very moment did I feel whole again."_

Oh yes I was certainly dreaming. Edward left me. I was the one with the hole in their heart not him.

"_Oh how I have missed you, my love. I can't ever apologize enough for leaving you. I thought I was doing the right thing."_

My dreams played with my senses again as I heard the vision of Edward say how much he missed me. How much he loved me. I let those words envelope me. I got lost in them never wanting this dream to end. Right there in my dreamlike state Edward loved me, Edward wanted me. I felt his cool marble skin brush against mine, my heart raced and I felt like I was suddenly on fire. My body responded to dream Edward in the same manner it always had to the real Edward.

In my dream I heard his heavy breathing and wanted to comfort him. I wanted to tell him how much I loved him too. How I missed him every second he had been gone. Absently I weaved my fingers through his bronze unkempt hair. I fought the urge to open my eyes. I didn't want this dream to end. I didn't want to wake up and find myself alone – Edward gone. So I squeezed them tightly forcing them into tiny slits allowing myself to remain in my dream a little longer.

Finally losing the battle my eyes fluttered open but I must have still been dreaming because there sat Edward looking at me with his brilliant amber eyes. "Edward?" I said in a questioning whisper.

"Bella," he choked out my name. "Oh Bella, my love." I felt his hand grasp mine tightly. I saw relief in his eyes. "You're awake."

"Am I?"

"Yes," he looked at me with a peculiar expression on his face.

"I can't be. You're still here."

"Of course I am here. Where else would I be?"

I had to wonder how I was supposed to answer that remark. "Anywhere but here," I said trying to prop myself up on my arms but the throbbing at the back of my head kept me down.

"Bella?" Edward's worried eyes stared at me. "Love, are you in pain?"

"No," I lied.

"Rest my beloved." He ran his cool fingers against my temples and instantly I was filled with relief.

My eyes started to droop when he began humming my lullaby in my ear. I fought against the oncoming sleep. "Are you really here? Are you really real?" I forced my eyes wide and turned my head to stare directly into Edward's gorgeous face.

"Yes, Bella love, to both of your questions."

"Why? Why are you here?" I couldn't wrap my mind around anything right now. I couldn't believe that Edward was beside me, that he loved me still.

"Carlisle called me. He told me you were hurt. Where else would I be?" He repeated.

"You left me." I choked. "You said….you said you didn't love me." Those words strangled me as uncontrollable tears slid onto my cheeks. Edward's gentle touch brushed away each one as it fell.

"I was a fool. I thought I could leave you. I thought that the agony would fade. And Bella, you are my life. I will love you always." He bent down and pressed his cold hard lips to my warm soft ones. Eagerly I returned his kiss thinking to myself if this was a dream I never wanted to wake up ever again. "Easy my love," he stated pulling away pointing at the heart monitor I was attached to. "We need to be careful."

"You're really here?" I cried.

"Yes." He kissed my forehead again. "I'm really here." He reassured me. "Bella, what happened?" I closed my eyes not wanting to relive the events that had gotten me here. "Should I call a nurse, Carlisle?"

"I'm fine." He didn't look he believed me. "Edward," I stroked my hand against his marble skin. "really, I'm fine."

"Who attacked you?" he asked circling his thumb against the back of my hand.

"I don't know." I wondered if I sounded convincing enough. Edward always said I was a terrible liar.

"You don't remember anything?" he pressed.

I remembered everything, every minute detail but I knew I couldn't say any of it aloud not to anyone and especially not to Edward. "No, I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize." He brought my hand to his lips gently brushing them against my skin. Again my body responded to his touch. "You're safe now."

I couldn't believe that. I wasn't and I wouldn't be but I couldn't break myself away from him no matter what I knew it might cost me.

"Ah, Bella, you're awake." I looked up to see Carlisle entering my room. "How are you feeling dear?"

"Like there is a freight train thundering through me head."

"That's to be expected. You have quite the bump on the head. Do you remember what happened?"

I looked away trying to form some plausible response but Edward beat me to it. "No, she doesn't." he answered for me.

"Do you think you could sit up? I'd like to check on how your back is healing?" Carlisle questioned.

My back I thought and then the memory of colliding with the nightstand flooded me. "I think." I struggled to come forward until Edward's strong arms were encircling me, supporting me. I flinched when Carlisle removed the bandage. I could only imagine what it looked like when I heard Edward's deep sucking breath. "Ooww," I gasped when Carlisle as gentle as he was touched the wound.

"It's still pretty infected." He observed. "I'm going to need to up the antibiotics."

"Are you done?" I was suddenly very dizzy and feeling nauseated.

"Carlisle, she's so pale." Edward's voice was barely a whisper as he helped me lay back against the hard hospital bed.

I closed my eyes and let my breathing even out as the sick feeling in my stomach faded. "We really need to contact your family. I'm sure they are worried about you." I heard Carlisle say and my eyes flew open and I began to shake.

"Bella?" Edward's arms were again wrapped firmly around me and I felt myself cling to him. "Bella, sweetheart, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," I squeaked.

"Bella," Carlisle said softly. "I have to contact someone in your family. I can call Charlie or Jacob," he paused.

Oh God he knew. Of course he knew. It wasn't like Edward wouldn't tell them all what I had done. I married Jacob and they all knew it. "Please don't," I murmured.

"Bella, I've already gone against my better judgment. I can't wait…."

"Carlisle, please," I saw Edward's eyes begging those of his father. "Just a bit longer?"

I watched Carlisle nod. "A little longer." He agreed.

"Thank you," Edward and I whispered in unison.

Deep down I knew that there was no way I could get out of seeing Jacob. Eventually Carlisle would have no choice but to notify my husband of my whereabouts. I didn't even want to think about what that call would invoke in him. Actually I did know or had a pretty good idea but it was the last thing I wanted to think about. Right now all I wanted to do was get lost in the fact that Edward was beside me. And for a little while longer I wanted to believe that nothing had changed. That he and I would ride off together and be happy as we had intended long before anything had gotten in our way.

"Hold me," I implored Edward. I wanted to feel his arms around me even if this might be the last time. My tender heart ripped open again but I pushed those feelings aside as Edward pressed his cool body against mine. I laid my head on his chest drinking in his aroma trying to capture all of this in my memory.


	13. 12 Smoke and Mirrors

Quiet Rage: _Smoke and Mirrors_

**Bella's POV –**

The throbbing in my head had finally dulled so when I opened my eyes and the bright morning light bombarded me it was slightly less painful than before. I stared up at the stark white ceiling and heard the rhythmic monotone beeping coming from beside me and remembered that I was in the hospital. Almost immediately I was flooded by the memories that had brought me there and my stomach rolled end over end bringing forth a sick feeling. Jacob had attacked me. That thought still made me shudder.

"Bella?" It was the voice of my God – Edward. Turning my head I saw him sitting alongside my bed worry clouding his Adonis like features. So it hadn't been a dream after all. He was really here telling me how much he loved me. "Are you alright?" he asked tangling his fingers through mine.

"I'm fine." I said when I was finally able to retrieve my ability to speak. Edward could always leave me breathless no amount of time apart had changed that.

"Are you cold?" He tried removing his hand from mine but I held firm. "You're shaking."

Yes, I could feel my body shake. I wanted to laugh it off as the closeness that he and I were sharing but it was the images of Jacob's rage that caused me to tremble. However that wasn't something I could tell Edward. "I still can't believe you are here."

"I am. For as long as you want me."

I found my heart screaming forever – that I wanted him forever but my head reigned in those frivolous emotions with reality. I belonged to Jacob and it was time that I started to remember that or things were only going to get worse. Before I was able to reply to Edward's offer the door to my room swung open and I felt myself tense fear coursing through me. I felt my grasp on Edward's hand tighten as if it was reflex and in return he ran his icy fingers in gentle circles across my knuckles.

"Good morning," a cheery nurse's aide carrying a breakfast tray into the room said. "You didn't fill out the menu card so there's a little of everything on here."

The tray full of food, just the smell of it, made me nauseous. "Thank you," I barely eked out.

"Do you need anything else?" the young girl asked while her eyes traveled the length of Edward's physique. I should have gotten used to all the attention he received yet there was still a twinge of jealousy each time it happened.

"We're fine," Edward told her but never took his eyes off of me.

"Okay," I thought I heard a bit of disappointment in the aide's voice. I couldn't help but smile. It was always the same each of Edward's admirers walked away deflated from his lack of interest or even recognition.

"Would you like me to get rid of this?" He motioned to the food laden tray. I knew he couldn't read my thoughts but I was sure he could my expression and right now it was anything but tempted by the breakfast before me.

"Yes, please."

"How's your head this morning?" Gently he stroked from my temple to my chin.

"Better," I smiled. "The freight train isn't a big." I joked referring to my description from yesterday.

"Don't be afraid to ask for medication if you need it." Again I wondered if my face gave away my true feelings. While the pained had ebbed it still was a constant dull mind-numbing ache.

"I'm fine." I repeated while mentally adding… _as long as you are by my side_. As much as I wanted to say those words aloud I knew they weren't possible – not anymore. I had been lucky enough for the time I had been able to steal with Edward and when the door to my room opened again and Carlisle stood at the end of my bed I knew my fantasy was quickly coming to an end.

"Good morning, Bella," he said softly picking up my chart that hung at the end of the bed. "How are you feeling this morning? Not hungry I see." He motioned to the full tray of food. "I might have expected that."

"I believe she's still in pain but doesn't want to admit it." I looked at Edward and gave him an exasperated sigh – overprotective as always.

"It's nothing I can't handle."

"You shouldn't have to," he argued.

"I'll have some Motrin brought in as soon as I have completed my examination. Would you mind stepping outside?" Carlisle turned and spoke to Edward.

"Can't he stay?" I almost pleaded. I didn't want to lose any minute I had left with him.

Carlisle debated for a second and relented again. I wasn't sure who he had given in more for me or Edward but I really didn't care. "Fine. The lump seems to be getting smaller." He touched the back of my head and I did my best not to wince not wanting to see the pain on Edward's face at my reaction. "You're more than likely going to have a headache for a few more days. I will be sure to prescribe you something for it before you are released."

"Released?" I tried to control the fear that rocked me.

"Yes….after we call Jacob and Charlie. I can't put that off any longer." He looked between Edward and me sympathetically. "Can you manage to sit up so I can check your back again?"

I pushed myself forward thankful that the lightheadedness I had encountered yesterday had passed. I felt Carlisle tug at the tape holding the bandage in place. "It looks much better. Another round of oral antibiotics should do the trick. You're going to need bed rest for a few more days but after that you should be able to go back to school and work."

I felt the hairs on my arm bristle at the thought of being home alone with Jacob for a few hours not to mention days. My breathing quickened no matter how I tried to control it. I closed my eyes doing my best to gather my ragged emotions. I didn't have a choice. I had to do what I had to. As much as I wanted to tell Carlisle and Edward, I couldn't risk any of the Cullen's feeling honor bound to protect me. I had made my choices and I alone had to live with them.

"See, what did I tell you? She's in more pain than she's letting on," Edward said to his father.

"I'm fine." I tried to say in a reassuring tone.

"Okay, about calling your family. Who would you like me to call?" Carlisle asked.

I wanted to say Charlie and only Charlie yet I knew that would send up a red flag or give Edward a false impression of what was possible for the two of us. "You should probably call Jacob." My voice faltered with his name.

"And your father?" Carlisle suggested. "Would you like me to call him as well?"

I wasn't sure what was going through Carlisle's mind and I half wondered if he was putting out his thoughts for Edward to read or was he keeping them to himself. I hoped he was shielding Edward since I thought for certain that Carlisle had a better idea of what happened to me even if he wasn't letting on. "Yes, I'd like it if you called Charlie too."

"Okay."

Alone again with Edward, I took pleasure in his presence – reveled in it. I stared at him memorizing each and every intricate feature of his face. "Bella love, perhaps you should close your eyes and rest. You look exhausted."

I shook my head in response knowing if I allowed my voice to escape it would give away my sadness – my fear.

**Jacob's POV –**

The shrill ring of the phone would have woken me if I had actually been sleeping. I had spent the night running under the guise of patrolling when truthfully I was just running from myself. Sad to say I hadn't been able to get away.

"Hello," I answered with a rough tone.

"Jacob Black, please." A smooth as silk voice met my ear.

"You got him."

"This is Dr. Carlisle Cullen. I wanted to let you know that your wife was admitted to Forks General."

"WHAT!?!" I hoped that my shock sounded convincing enough.

"She has a concussion, some bruising and quite a large gash on her back, but over all she's going to be fine."

"What happened?" I continued under the pretense of ignorance.

"Honestly, I'm not really sure." I heard concern ooze from the vampire doctor's voice. "I tried asking Bella, but she doesn't remember."

At that remark a tiny ray of hope sprang forth. Could there have been hope for our marriage yet? I was torn in my thinking though. Had Bella really not recalled what happened or was she protecting me – my secret? Did I dare be optimistic enough to think that maybe she had forgiven me or at least remotely understood what had brought about such a reaction in me? As much as I tried to hold it at bay the flicker of hope for my marriage had been ignited. "I just got in. I thought Bella had left for school already." I easily lied. "Since your family decided to come back patrolling has been our number one priority!"

"Jacob, I assure you that my family is of no danger to your tribe or anyone for that matter."

I let out a huff at that remark. Oh at least one member of his family was a danger to me. Not physically by any means but_ he_ was definitely a threat to the life that I thought I was going to have. "That's your opinion," I countered sarcastically. "If it hadn't been for _your_ return I would have been there for my wife. But no – I am too busy running the border keeping the area safe from the likes of_ you_ and _your_ kind."

I thought I heard Dr. Cullen sigh before speaking. I wondered what he might be thinking. "I'm sorry you feel that way, Jacob. Bella is going to be released later this afternoon. She's going to need bed rest for a few days. After that she should be well enough to return to her normal routine."

I put the phone down without saying good-bye. Bella was going to be all right. That was the first thought that I allowed myself to think then my mind filled with swimming circling thoughts. Of course Dr. Cullen would have to be Bella's doctor. That was just one more tie _his_ family had to her. The hairs on the back of my neck stood erect imagining that _he_ was with her. What other reason could it have been for that nearly eighteen hours since she had been admitted that someone thought to call me, Bella's husband? Actually I was shocked that I had been called at all.

My heart pounded in my chest anger welling deep inside me. My body shuddered and shook the beast living inside of me begged for release. I couldn't allow it. Right now wasn't the time. I needed to keep my composure no matter what I encountered when I went to pick Bella up. I had to keep control. I repeated to myself.

**Edward's POV –**

Carlisle poked his head into Bella's room. _'son, we need to talk,' _he thought silently. I looked at Bella sleeping peacefully. I hated to leave her side. _'edward, please.'_

"What is it?" I asked.

"I just spoke with Jacob and Charlie..."

He hesitated momentarily but I answered him just as if he had spoken out loud. "You want me to leave?" I knew I sounded dumbfounded. Was this the same man who had been badgering me for days now to talk to Bella; find out what her true feelings were? Now he wanted me to leave – that was absurd.

"Yes, it might be better for all concerned if you were gone when Jacob and Charlie arrive. Neither is your biggest fan, as you are well aware."

I didn't care if either Charlie or Jacob didn't like me or want me there. Bella wanted me there and her opinion was the only one I cared about. "I'm not leaving." I stated matter of fact. "You were the one wanting me to fight. So that's what I am doing. I'm going to fight for what I want – fight for Bella."

"Of course now you finally decide to listen to me." Carlisle's tone was exasperation to say the least.

"I can't leave her again."

"I figured as much." From Carlisle's quiet thoughts I knew he had resigned himself to whatever decision I would make. But he also hoped I was making the right one.

I pushed open the door and quietly entered Bella's room. I found her wide eyed staring at the ceiling. Her expression was clouded and even the smile she gave me when realizing I was in the room seemed off. I retook my place besides her reaching for her hand once more. It trembled. She had the look of fear in her chocolate brown eyes and that look sent a chill down my already frozen spine.

**Charlie's POV –**

It seemed to take forever to arrive at Forks General even though the distance between it and the station was miniscule. All I could focus on was Carlisle Cullen telling me my baby was hurt. His voice bounced around the recesses of my mind. That call had caused similar memories to resurface – memories of a hospital in Phoenix where my baby girl lay battered and bruised. Carlisle reassured me that it wasn't anything nearly as horrific as then just a concussion and some bruising but I still couldn't erase those thoughts from my mind's eye.

Finally the hospital lot came into view and let the siren rip out a warning tone for those who happened to stand between me and my daughter. The automatic sliding door was barely opening when I shimmied my body through it nearly colliding with someone doing the same. My shoulder slammed into something that felt like solid rock. Turning my head I saw Jacob beside me. "Why the hell didn't you tell me that Bella was hurt?" I didn't hold back my anger. I didn't care that he was my long time best friend's son or my daughter's husband at the moment. My relationship with Bella trumped it all.

I looked into Jacob's stunned black eyes. He looked shocked to see me. "Charlie," he gasped.

"So are you going to answer me? Why didn't you call me!?" I barked again.

"I just found out myself." I heard him stammer.

"WHAT!?" I roared. This didn't make any sense to me. How could he not have known that Bella was hurt? "What do you mean you just found out? Weren't you with her?"

"No," Jacob whispered his eyes not meeting mine.

"WHAT!?!" I didn't think my voice could get any louder but apparently I miscalculated as it reverberated off the hospital entrance.

"I've…we've" he corrected himself, "been really swamped at the garage lately. I've been working overtime just to keep things under control. I actually hadn't seen Bella since she left for school the other morning."

My eyes widened at his remark. He hadn't seen my daughter, his wife, in nearing forty-eight hours and that wasn't cause for alarm. "You never thought to check in with her?" I did little to hide my disgust. Suddenly I was rethinking my consenting to this teen marriage.

"Charlie, I'm sorry. With school, working, Bella's job at the sporting goods store….I'm doing the best I can."

"Try harder. My daughter's in the hospital for god sakes and you expect me to believe this is your best?"

"I'm really sorry, Charlie," Jacob reached for my arm as though he was hoping to make me understand. "I would never let anything hurt Bella on purpose. I love her. I only want to make her happy."

I looked into his big black eyes as they begged for my understanding. Suddenly I saw that quirky teenager that had comforted Bella when nothing else had been able to reach her. "She's all I have, Jacob. I trusted you with her. Don't make me regret that."

"She's all I have, too," Jacob conferred.

"What are we doing standing out here then? Let's go see her." I said placing my hand on his broad shoulder.

I was still trying to process my conversation with Jacob as we entered Bella's room. But the sight of Edward Cullen sitting alongside her hospital bed gently holding her hands in his brought forth a geyser of fury. "YOU! Of course this is your fault! I should have known!" I snarled. I reached for the handcuffs that hung at my side. "That's it…stand up!" I shouted.

"DAD!" I knew Bella was talking to me but I barely recognized her voice. All I could think about was getting Edward Cullen out of her life. "What are you doing?" she shouted. I watched her struggling to sit up.

"Doing my job!"

"Bella, love," I watched Edward gently stroking her cheek and that sight only served to fuel my rage.

"Stop touching her!" I growled through clenched teeth.

"Gentleman," Carlisle's smooth voice interceded between me and his son. "Chief Swan, this is a hospital. I can hear your voice all the way down the corridor."

I didn't care. I had had enough of his son wreaking havoc in my daughter's life. "Who's going to arrest me?"

"Dad, please," Bella's voice pleaded with me. "Stop this."

"Bella," Carlisle turned away from me focusing on his patient, my daughter. "You need to relax. Please Chief Swan, could we please take this outside. All this stress isn't good for her." I threw up my hands neither agreeing nor disagreeing with him. "Edward." I watched as the good doctor ushered his unwilling son from the room as well.

**Jacob's POV –**

I was actually glad that Charlie was the one to blow up first at the scene we walked in on. His eruption gave me time to collect the raging animal that clawed at me from the inside out. I was consumed by not only the sickeningly sweet aroma that _his_ presence caused in the room but the sight of him caressing Bella so gently.

While Charlie continued to rant and rave at Edward, I cautiously moved closer to Bella testing myself with each inch that brought me nearer. I felt my body tremble and quiver but I held steady the beast inside of me at bay.

"Bella," I cooed holding my breath as I hugged her close. "I was so worried about you. What happened?" I watched her curiously for any reflection in her eyes that might reveal she intended to give me away. "I'm so sorry that I wasn't there for you." I felt her stiffen under my embrace and pull back to eye me wearily.

The muffled voices from just beyond the door had Bella's full attention and I knew it. That knowledge was like a thousand pound weight on my chest. I saw my reflection in the now darkening window – anger filled my features. As hard as I tried to push it down and keep it under lock and key the monster that was fueled by it would have none of it.

"Bella!" I tugged roughly at her arm forcing her attention to me. "Look at me!" The flicker of hope that I had had for my marriage had been snuffed out as quickly as it had been ignited.

"What?" she cried as I tightened my grip on her arm exactly over her already bruised skin as to be sure that no more evidence would be found.

"You're married to me! I'm not about to let you go – not without a **fight**," I was sure that I put enough emphasis on that last word. I watched her eyes widen as the reality of my words began to sink in. "All I have to do is get _him_ alone. You know I can do it. _He'll_ do anything to protect you and I'd do anything to keep you."

**Bella's POV –**

I winced as Jacob clamped his hand tightly around my upper arm. His heavy breaths burning in my ear as he spoke, threatened. I closed my eyes and tightened my jaw willing the salty tears back to where the came from. Ultimately I knew I could never have what I truly wanted. That's why I had wanted as much time with Edward as Carlisle would allow. I knew that the moment I was living in right now had been on the horizon. I had unwillingly and unknowingly sealed my fate weeks before – or maybe Edward had done that for me more than a year ago. I didn't really know anymore yet what I did understand was that wanting Edward and being able to be with him were two completely parallel universes that weren't ever destined to meet again.

The door to my room swung open and in walked Charlie the veins in his neck still bulging from his heated confrontation with Edward. "I'm sorry," he finally told me taking position opposite Jacob on the other side of the bed.

"You should be."

"Aw Bells, please don't be mad." I stared straight ahead of me focusing all of my attention on a single dark spot on the wall in front of me. "I said I was sorry."

"You've been saying it a lot lately," I countered never turning my head to look at him thinking about the not so long ago conversation we had about him arresting Edward.

"I know," he relented in a tone that was reserved more for a child after being scolded. "How are you feeling?" he asked me in what I assumed was his attempt at changing the subject.

"I'm okay." I answered all the while Jacob's grip on my arm was a constant reminding pressure.

"What happened to you? Did someone attack you? What do you remember? I need to get as much information as I can so we can catch this monster."

I heard Jacob's breaths momentarily stop at my father's term for the person who had done this to me. Once more his fingers wound tightly around my arm nails digging deeply into the soft underside flesh of my arm. "I don't remember," I lied.

"Bella, honey, anything even something that you think means nothing might help."

"I'm sorry, Dad. I don't remember."

"Charlie, don't forget they just said stress isn't good her." Jacob's voice was full of false concern yet my father bought it.

"I'm sorry Bells, Jacob's right. You need to rest. We can do this anytime. I'm just so glad you are going to be all right." Gently my father kissed my cheek. Again I sucked in a breath to stop the trail of tears that sought escape from my eyes.

The gentle swish of the door called my attention across the room and in entered Carlisle and Edward. My tear rimmed eyes met a pair of topaz ones filled with just as much anguish.

"I want him gone!" Charlie pointed straight at Edward and my heart sank. "There is no reason for him to be here."

"I think there is," Edward spoke firmly an edge to his velvet voice.

Jacob's fingers dug deeper into my arm and using his other hand he pulled me against his body pinning me to his side. I watched the chiseled face vampire knowing that it was taking all his strength to remain still. "I believe being Bella's husband," I knew that Jacob loved using that word especially in front of Edward. "that I have a say who can and can't visit my wife."

The voices around me erupted violently again each one louder than the next until they mixed to form a loud roar in my head. I concentrated on the rhythmic rise and fall of my chest hoping to keep myself calm however my pulse quickened and the monitor I was still attached to gave me away.

"Bella," Carlisle spoke softly. "Relax Bella." Absently I wondered if he wished that Jasper was available to calm my hysterics.

Edward, Jacob and Charlie were all still shouting at one another. I wasn't sure whose words belonged to who anymore each seemed to be vying for some sort of coveted position in my life.

"He needs to leave, Bella," Jacob whispered in my ear. Under normal circumstances I was sure that Edward would have heard his words but given the fact that he was in the midst of an argument with my father there wasn't much chance of that. "I meant what I said, Bella," Jacob hissed. "All I have to do is get him alone and your precious leech will be no more."

A chill ran down my spine. The look in Jacob's eye told me he wouldn't hesitate to make good on his words. I was once more reminded of James and the fierce look in his eyes as he towered over me taunting me about what he would do to Edward.

"STOP!" I wasn't sure where I found the force to shout but I had. "Enough," I gasped. "Edward, my father and Jacob are right. You don't belong here. You need to go." All the while I was talking my brain screamed at me to reach out and hold Edward close but I ignored it. "You made your choice along time ago and now I've made mine."

Edward stood wide eyed staring at me in disbelief. I didn't know if he knew I was lying or if he was just completely stunned. "Bella, love," he finally found his voice.

"You heard her!" Charlie said smugly. "Go!"

I swallowed the strangled cry that was fighting its way to the top of my throat. My head and my heart were at war with one another as I looked at Edward's sweet butterscotch eyes begging, pleading with me for some sort of reprieve. "You need to go." I murmured barely above a whisper. My scarcely repaired heart splintered again into ragged pieces. All eyes on him Edward turned and left my room without another word. I found myself staring straight ahead once more not wanting to see the gloat on Jacob's or my father's faces and knowing that the minute I looked at Carlisle I would break down and tell him everything. I continued looking in front of me replaying the last hours that Edward and I shared together.


	14. 13 Homecoming

Quiet Rage: _Homecoming_

**Edward's POV –**

I found myself pacing the perimeter of Carlisle's office trying to rid myself of my nervous energy. If I had found it at all funny how _"human"_ my actions were becoming, I would have chuckled but nothing was remotely humorous at the moment. I had been hauled up in my father's office for what felt like an eternity to me and eternity was definitely a state I was quite familiar with.

I listened to the various conversations taking place beyond the office door in the hopes of hearing something, anything related to Bella. Unfortunately it appeared as though I was the only one in the hospital, besides Carlisle maybe, who was even thinking about Isabella Swan.

I couldn't deny the immediate change in Bella's demeanor the second Jacob entered her room that afternoon – actually even earlier than that just at the mere mention of his name. There was an undeniable sense of panic that consumed her. Rubbing my hands over the smooth stone surface of my face, I let out an exhausted sigh – even though sleep wasn't something I had needed in decades. I wasn't able to get passed the fear I witnessed deep in Bella's eyes. It gnawed away at me bit by bit. Protecting Bella was like breathing for any human – a necessity, and right now everything inside me screamed she needed protection.

_"Edward, my father and Jacob are right. You don't belong here. You need to go. You made your choice along time ago and now I've made mine. You need to go." _

Bella's voice, her final words, poked and prodded at me. As much as I tried to keep them compartmentalized they seemed to take over every open space in my mind. She chose him. She asked, no told, me to go. Had I just envisioned all of it? The fear, the panic did I rationalize her need for me so that I didn't have to face the fact that I had sealed my fate that afternoon in the forest. **I** walked away – **me** – not her. She had begged me not to go. She was willing to go away with my family – leave everything in her life behind. I was the one who told her **no**; told her that I didn't love her; that I didn't want her. I had done this – me and me alone.

I fell back onto the overstuffed burgundy leather sofa that rested against the far wall wanting a long, painful, torturous end to my existence. There was no one to blame for any of this but me.

"Edward," Carlisle's soft voice called to me yet I turned away not wanting him to see the torment in my eyes. "Son," he implored me to look at him still I refused to do so. "Bella's just about to leave," he said in a hushed tone. An unnecessary breath hitched in my throat. "Charlie's just signing the last of the papers for her release."

A force that rivaled the moon's pull on the tides propelled me to a standing position. I wasn't sure how the already dead could feel as though they were dying inside but that's exactly what I felt like – like anything and everything that had brought life to my eternal existence was withering and dying inside of me. However rather than turning away from the pain and destruction those feelings were eliciting I was staring into them like passersby did when they encountered a tragic car accident or a horrific train wreck.

"Edward. Edward!" Carlisle called after me but again I didn't bother to turn around. I knew from his thoughts that he wouldn't stop me. He knew I had to stop myself. He, like me, wasn't sure if I would.

I skidded to a halt and pulled back around the corner as Bella, her father and Jacob came into my line of sight. She looked so fragile to me as she walked between the two larger men. Her gait was slow as though she was in pain. I resisted the sudden urge to race forward scoop her up and carry her. It wasn't my place now but that didn't stop the impulse from engulfing me.

Jacob reached for her hand and instantly I saw her switch the small bag in her other hand to the one that he wished to hold. I couldn't have imagined that. It was easy to see that she didn't want him to touch her. All of her body language screamed that. I watched her lean closer to Charlie when Jacob attempted to drape his arm around her shoulder. Again that action wasn't one I could have imagined. I witnessed it.

Bella's actions, not her earlier words, offered me the tiniest hope. Something still felt wrong to me – off and I wasn't about to let it go anytime soon.

**Bella's POV –**

I climbed into the front seat of Charlie's cruiser much to Jacob's chagrin. It was easy to read his upset expression and I wonder if I would pay for this later but at the moment I tried not to think about it. I didn't want to be alone with him on the drive back to LaPush. I was actually relieved when my dad offered to come home with us.

"Are you comfortable?" he asked me ducking his head inside the car.

"I'm fine, thanks." I gave him a half smile. I knew that Carlisle told me that my headache would dull over the next few days but suddenly it thundered in my head again. Stress more than likely the cause. I wished there had been some way for me to have just gone back to my old room at Charlie's rather than back to a home that didn't even feel like one.

"You can follow me." I heard Charlie's muffled voice say to Jacob through the closed door. "So should I use the siren?" He joked knowing how embarrassed that always made me.

I groaned. "I don't think so."

The ride to LaPush was a quiet one. On one hand the silence was good but on the other it allowed for my memory to circle around Jacob's threats.

_"You're married to me! I'm not about to let you go – not without a __**fight. **__All I have to do is get him alone. You know I can do it. __**He'll**__ do anything to protect you and I'd do anything to keep you."_

_"He needs to leave Bella. I meant what I said, Bella, all I have to do is get him alone and your precious leech will be no more."_

I glanced in the side mirror and could see Jacob's precious VW Rabbit hard on the cruiser's bumper. I wondered if he was worried I would tell my father about the monster that attacked me. I seriously toyed with the idea yet there was a part of me that wasn't sure if Charlie would believe me or not. He didn't know anything about Jacob's new found strength or the fact that myths like werewolves and vampires weren't just creatures to entertain movie goers and frighten kids on Halloween. For Charlie Jacob was still Jacob, his best friend's son.

As much as the recollections of Jacob's intimidation sent chills down my spine, they were easier to think about than the look of pure anguish that had been on Edward's still face when I told him he needed to go. I was still a bit shocked that I had been able to be so forceful but then again I was the only one who could feel my heart slitting into a tens of millions of pieces for a second time.

Finally we crossed over onto the reservation and sheer panic began to constrict in my chest. I didn't know if I could do this. I didn't know if I wanted to do this. The piercing sound of Jacob's voice hissing in my ears – his warning of what he could and would do to Edward suppressed my fear. I could and I would do this if only to keep Edward, all of the Cullens, safe. There would be no such treaty for them if anything happened to one of their own at the hands of the Quiletes.

So much fell on my shoulders now. I felt dizzy and sick to my stomach. Reaching for the dash I tried to stave off the wave of nausea that consumed me.

"Bells, you okay? You look a little green."

"Just a little dizzy," I lied.

"You'll feel better once we get you home and in bed."

"Yeah, sure." I said pretty sure I didn't sound all that convinced.

The sight of the cottage I shared with Jacob came into view as did Billy's truck and Sam's car. I didn't know if I should feel relieved or not but at least I wouldn't be alone for a little while longer.

"Hey, help her inside." Charlie shouted across his car at Jacob. "She's feeling dizzy."

I bristled when Jacob's overly warm hands touched me. What I wouldn't have given to have a pair of icy ones instead. "Easy does it." Jacob crooned like the concerned doting husband. He pushed open the door and we were met with three pairs of anxious eyes. "You really should lie down." Jacob offered all peering eyes on him.

"The couch is fine." I said. The bedroom was probably the last place I wanted to be at the moment. I was pretty sure that it would bring back a torrent of more memories than were already overwhelming me.

"Can I get you anything?" Emily dropped Sam's hand and come closer.

I almost couldn't look at her. It felt like her eyes were boring holes through me. The conversation we had about my needing to talk to Sam bombarded me. "I'm fine, thanks." I looked away quickly not allowing my eyes to make contact with hers.

"Bella, you had us all worried to death." Billy's booming voice filled the tiny room. "When Charlie called me…well I was shocked."

I gave Jacob a sideways glance realizing that he had hoped to keep this all under wraps but my father had changed that for him. "I'm sorry I scared everyone." I felt completely awkward with them all standing above me staring.

"So what happened?" Sam asked me while his eyes focused on Jacob. Even though I knew better it looked as though they were having a silent mental conversation.

"I don't remember." I had said that lie so many times now that is sounded like the truth even to me.

"You don't remember?" Emily's soft voice picked at me yet I wouldn't allow it entry into my head.

Charlie appeared beside me with a glass of water and a pill large enough to choke a horse in the palm of his hand. I hadn't even noticed his exit from the room. "Here, Dr. Cullen said you needed to take the full ten days worth of antibiotics."

Reluctantly I took it from his hand placed it on the back of my tongue and chased it to the depths of my stomach with a large gulp of water. Its sudden sloshing did little to calm the nausea I was feeling.

"Carlisle Cullen?" I immediately noticed Billy's brow raise the intonation in his voice grew weary and his black eyes shot glances between Sam and Jacob.

"Yeah, apparently he's back on staff at the hospital." Charlie answered casually as if it meant nothing that Carlisle was back. I knew differently though. I was pretty sure that while Edward being back was nothing new to Billy but the entire Cullen family had Billy Black on high alert.

"Well that's interesting. I need to get over to the Clearwater's," Billy announced. My thoughts shot to the fact that I imagined a counsel meeting was probably in order. "Want to come?" Billy turned to my father. "Sue was just saying how it's been forever since you've been to her place."

"I think I'm going to stay here awhile longer." Charlie looked at me his eyes still full of apology for many of his transgressions. "Just to be sure Bells is settled."

"That's what she's got a husband for." Billy joked as a few chuckles broke out around him. "Come on, you can't pass up Sue's cooking now can you?"

"Go on dad," I said pushing at his shoulder. "I'll bet it's the first good meal you've had in awhile."

"You sure?" he asked me giving me a sheepish grin. It was obvious that I spoke the truth. He wasn't much of a cook. I could only imagine what his meals consisted of since I had been gone.

"Go. I'll be fine." I said with more vibrato than I had expected.

"I'll stop back before I head home."

"Okay."

"Bye Bella. Feel better." Billy wheeled himself out the door as Charlie held it open for him.

When the quote unquote adults had finally left us all alone, I instantly felt the tension overtake the room. I shifted uneasily when Jacob settled next to me on the couch resting his hand lightly over my knee as if nothing had ever happened.

"You sure I can't get you something to eat?" Emily questioned me always the maternal one.

"Honestly the thought of food…." I hesitated. "Well let's just say that food and I aren't on the best of terms right now."

"Some tea then? It might settle your stomach."

I could see how hard she was trying and I adored her for it. "It's fine, really."

"Jake, I'll gather the others and take care of patrolling for the next couple of days. I'm sure you don't want to leave Bella here alone." Sam remarked.

The panic inside me swelled at the mere thought of being alone with Jacob. The rise and fall of my chest quickened even though I tried to control it. The acid from my stomach inched its way to the back of my throat burning a path as it climbed. Jacob glanced between Sam and me. I couldn't read his expression. I wasn't sure if he was considering Sam's idea or pissed that Sam was seemingly trying to take charge.

"I would be glad to stay with Bella. I know that patrolling, especially now is vital." Emily offered as she looked between her own husband and mine. I wondered if like me she was trying to suss out the tension in the room.

"I don't really think I need a babysitter." I would actually have preferred to be alone.

"I'd feel better if someone from the pack was here." Jacob kissed my cheek ever so sweetly. I held back the bile that threatened to come forth. "You wouldn't mind coming over?" He turned and directed his remark to Emily.

"Not at all."

"Okay then it's settled. When we patrol Emily will come stay with Bella." Jacob was talking about me as though I wasn't even in the room. "Well, let's go make a sweep." Jacob patted Sam's arm. "Thanks, Emily."

The door closed between them filling the tiny room with silence. Emily sat across from me eyeing me cautiously. I fidgeted under her gaze. "Bella, what really happened to you?" she eventually asked me.

"I don't remember." The lie easily fell from my lips.

"Bella," she pleaded with me. "You ended up in the hospital. You don't remember anything at all?"

"No. Nothing." I heard the edge in my voice and wanted to cover it but couldn't. I couldn't do this with her – with anyone.

"You can trust me. You can trust Sam."

I almost laughed out loud. I couldn't even tell the one I trusted the most. There was no way I was about to add fuel to an already raging fire by admitting to Emily – to Sam, Jacob's second, that he was the one who hurt me. "Emily, I don't remember. Can we please just drop it?"

"Bella, I know something's going on between the two of you. It's as plain as the scar on my face." I winced at her choice of metaphors. "The other night you could cut the tension between you and Jacob with a knife. Let me, us, help you."

Inside I was completely freaking out. Had she told Sam about the other day when she witnessed Jacob's angry altercation with me? I couldn't even begin to fathom the threats Jacob would bring forth if that was truly the case. "I don't need any help, really. Stop worrying about me. I'm fine."

"Bella," Emily started again.

"I think I should go lay down." I announced without letting her finish her thought. "My head is really starting to pound."

"Here, let me help you." Emily offered me her hand but I refused in an effort to show her when I said I didn't need any help that's exactly what I meant.


	15. 14 Welcome Back

Quiet Rage: _Welcome Back_

**Bella's POV –**

I looked around the room welcoming the silence. This was the first time in more than five days I had been alone. I closed my eyes and let out a relieved sigh. My life since I had come home from the hospital was a double edge sword – I was glad for Jacob's absence with his incessant patrolling yet Emily's constant presence, peering eyes and occasional pressing questions weren't really any easier on me. Both instances were filled with tension just different types.

I had to admit my first few days out of the hospital had been trying. My head had still ached and more often than not I was too nauseous to eat much of anything but after a day or two I rounded a corner and the dizziness subsided as had my bruises. They were now merely faint yellow reminders of my altercation with Jacob.

Yesterday I finally convinced Emily that I was fine on my own. I told her how grateful I was for all her help but I was pretty sure I could care for myself now. Reluctantly after about an hour of my reassurances, she eventually walked out the door looking over her shoulder the whole time.

Jacob was a bit surprised to find me standing in the kitchen cooking dinner when he came home that evening. I held my breath waiting for his anger when I had told him that I had sent Emily home, but it never came. He walked into the kitchen wrapped his large arms around my waist and kissed my cheek. I hoped I held still enough as to not alert him to the sheer panic that his touch brought forth_. 'smells good,'_ I remember him saying. _'I'll go get cleaned up.'_

It took all of my inner strength to sit across the table from him and carry on a conversation as though nothing from a week ago had taken place. No matter how hard it may have been it was something I had to do. So on went my game face and I played my role the best I could and shockingly enough it seemed to work. The night went by without a single incident. Even when we both crawled into bed that evening, I allowed Jacob's arms to encircle my waist as he pressed his overly warm body against mine. That position seemed to calm him even though it set me on edge. It was no longer about me.

The sight of the phone hanging on the wall made me think of Carlisle's call a few days ago. He was checking in to be sure that my symptoms were improving and to see if I needed anything. I was utterly shocked when Jacob allowed me to talk with him and was even more stunned that that call hadn't brought out the worst in my husband. Even now I found my thoughts drifting to Edward. I had desperately wanted to ask Carlisle how he was doing but that was something I knew I could no longer do. Yet why was it that my heart was still throwing punches while my mind held me down? My heart was fighting frantically for what it wanted. It wanted Edward. My mind however was an entirely different story. It knew that what I wanted and what I could have were two completely different things. Yet that didn't stop my heart from its frantic fight.

As much as I craved Edward, ached for him in ways I hadn't even thought possible I couldn't dismiss the noticeable change in Jacob's demeanor. He was less tense, less eager to strike. At times I even thought I saw some resemblance to the boy I used to know. If I tried hard enough I was sure I could do this. So many things depended on my being able to do this. I had to.

I looked at my watch surprisingly anxious to get to school. I could only imagine the scuttlebutt going around about my _"accident"_. The fact that Charlie had been snooping around trying to come up with anything on who might have attacked me I was sure wasn't going to help matters. I buttered the toast on the plate in front of me deciding that I needed something in my stomach. Food and I still weren't on the best of terms though. My headache had pretty much subsided but the nauseous feeling still hit me in waves from time to time. I was pretty sure it was more nerves than anything else but it was still annoying just the same.

As I sat nibbling at my breakfast pictures of Alice's pixie face got the best of me. I knew I couldn't have Edward but I could live vicariously through his sister. I needed to know if he was okay. I wanted to know if he had bought into the lies I delivered as easily as I had done with his. I didn't know if Alice would tell me or not and I couldn't let her know my true feelings. I couldn't let her know how much I still loved Edward. That would be the unbearably difficult part in facing Alice, not allowing my inner feelings escape in my words and expressions.

"Good morning." I jumped at the sound of Jacob's low voice in my ear. He smelled woodsy certainly from his run in the forest. The patrolling had been a constant thing now. For me that was a catch twenty-two. It gave me time to myself, time that wasn't filled with worry, fear and apprehension. However in the same breath it was filled with those very things when it came to what Jacob, the pack, might do to the Cullens all under the guise of some ancient treaty.

"Morning." I returned moving to put my plate and knife in the sink. I was still struggling with the panic that raged in me each and every time Jacob was close to me. "Did you eat at Sam's or do you need me to make you breakfast?" Lately that's mainly what our conversations had consisted of – safe subjects that steered clear of anything that could even remotely upset him.

"I could eat." From behind me I heard the legs of the stool scrap across the hard oak floor.

"Anything in particular?"

It was almost funny what was strained conversation for me would have sounded quite normal to the outside world. Just a husband and wife talking about breakfast nothing more, nothing less.

"Surprise me."

Moving over to the refrigerator, I ducked my head inside looking for something that would fill his ferocious appetite. I gathered up the ingredients for French toast and set out to making my husband's breakfast. At least I could fill the time before I was to leave for school with something productive rather than the polite yet tense conversations we had been having lately.

A person would have thought I was feeding an army by the stack piled high on the plate in front of Jacob. I couldn't help but laugh at the way he dug into the mountain of food before him as though he hadn't eaten in months. "What?" he mumbled through his overly stuffed mouth.

"Nothing….just hoping you don't choke. Since I'm not sure I'm up to doing the Heimlich maneuver on anyone your size." That was the first time I hadn't censored my words since before Edward and his family returned. For a moment I froze fearful of what sort of reaction my remark would bring forth. I was stunned when Jacob chuckled.

"Yeah…might be a tough one." He agreed.

I let out a relieved sigh. It was so hard living this fine line never knowing if and what you say might cause an expected eruption. Absently I went about cleaning up from breakfast. Turning around I reached for Jacob's empty plate and the room did circles around me. I reached for the counter to steady my stance.

"Bella?" Jacob was next to me instantly supporting me. "Bella, what's wrong? Here sit down." He guided me to the stool he had leapt from.

Taking a few deep breaths the room came back into focus. "I just must have moved too fast." I looked into his deep black eyes staring at me full of true concern.

"Maybe it's too soon for you to be going back to school," he suggested.

Sheer panic consumed me. The last thing I wanted was to stay at home with him. No matter how much of a change in him I had seen, I needed the distance going to school; going into Forks would give me. "I'm fine really. I just moved too fast." He didn't seem all that convinced by my assurance.

"You probably shouldn't be driving."

That remarked sucked me back into a vortex. That's how the day I ended up in the hospital started out. The memory made me shudder. "I'm good. See?" I got off the stool and shook my body in front of him in an awkward attempt at dancing. "See not dizzy. It was just a simple head rush."

"I'd still feel better if I drove you to school." He picked up my hand in his with such gentleness I almost allowed myself to remember the Jacob that I loved.

"That's really not necessary. Besides you'll be late for school then."

"So what if I'm late. You're more important to me than some stupid tardy slip!"

It was easy to hear his voice lower an octave as if he was trying to control a growl in the back of his throat. I watched his body carefully and took particular notice of the way his hands gripped the edge of the counter. His skin was pulled taut across his knuckles.

"If you really think you should." I relented knowing that it was better than the alternative – Jacob losing his temper.

The drive into town was a quiet one. Jacob periodically asking if I was feeling okay or if I was dizzy at all. I wanted to believe it was truly concern on his part that brought about his need to drive me to school but I couldn't help but wonder if it didn't have more to do with controlling me. Or better yet losing the control he had over me.

The school lot was already filling up when Jacob pulled in. Instantly butterflies fluttered in my stomach in anticipation of the questions that I would be bombarded with. "You sure you're going to be okay?" he asked me opening my door so I could get out of the car.

"Hey Arizona," Mike Newton said as he approached. He had taken to calling me Arizona since shortly after I arrived in Forks. Back then I sensed it gave him some sort of connection to me he didn't think that the others had with me. But now his nickname for me just stuck. "Jacob," he nodded at the boy who towered over him.

"Hey Mike," I eyed Jacob cautiously gauging his reaction and wondering if his violence was reserved only for Edward or if it included any male who dared come close to me.

"Newton." Jacob nodded. I wasn't able to tell what he was thinking and that half frightened me.

"My mom mentioned you being scheduled to work this afternoon." Mike turned to speak to me. "I wasn't sure if you would be up to working today or not. I just wanted to let you know that I can cover your shift at the store if you want."

"No, I'm fine…..that's a good idea" Jacob and I spoke simultaneously both with differing ideas. I turned to stare at him feeling just an ounce of bravery in the parking lot full of witnesses. "I'm sure Mike's already covered for me enough given the circumstances," I said pointedly to Jacob. "I'm fine. I can work."

"You won't have a way to get there." Jacob said stating the obvious. "I have to be at the garage this afternoon and I won't be able to run back and forth from LaPush to here."

"I can give her a ride." Mike jumped in.

"Problem solved. And I can always hit Charlie up for a ride later." My new found bravery was getting stronger.

I speculated what thoughts were running through his head as he stood there silently for a moment. I wasn't able to read his expression. Was he angry? Was he upset? Was he worried? It was a mystery to me. Before I could contemplate it further Jessica and Angela were coming toward us.

"Bella!" Jessica gushed hugging me. I tensed when her tight embrace pulled against the scabbed over wound on my back. "You're here!"

"Yep."

"How are you?" Angela's voice was full of true concern. "I would have called but I thought maybe it was better for you to rest having a concussion and all."

"What happened to you?" Jessica Stanley had never been one for tact. "Rumor is you got mugged or attacked."

Jacob tensed beside me. "I don't remember."

"You don't remember?" Jessica announced disbelief clouding her tone. "How can you not remember? Someone attacked you for heaven sake – how do you forget that?"

You didn't I thought to myself. I hadn't forgotten what happened before the hospital nor had I forgotten what happened while I was in the hospital. Jacob's well placed threats hung over my head like a dark cloud. "I don't know, but really I don't remember."

"I gotta go." Jacob shifted his weight from side to side. "You take good care of her!" he said to Mike part order and I wondered if not part warning then unexpectedly his lips crashed hard into mine. I was taken aback by his vigor not sure if it was more for show or something completely different.

Thankfully the morning bell beckoning us inside rang before Jessica was able to launch into any more of her questions. I knew today was going to be tedious to say the least as I did my best to ignore the stares, pointing fingers and whispers coming from all directions.

I walked into English and my heart sank. Alice's seat was empty. My breathing quickened and my eyes darted from side to side. I hadn't expected her not to be here. In fact I counted on her being there. Suddenly there she was gliding through the door the way only Alice Cullen could. "Alice," I said breathlessly.

"Bella." She returned and kept on moving forward.

That was strange I thought. So un-Alice like. I slid out of my chair and made my way across the room to where she was riffling through her bag. "Alice," I said again my voice conveying my confusion.

"Yes, Bella?"

"What's going on?"

"Nothing."

Now I knew there was something definitely wrong. Alice was not one for one word responses. "Is Edward okay? Please tell me he hasn't done something. He didn't leave again did he?" I stared at her intently willing her to speak but nothing. I felt my eyes grow wide with fear at what she wasn't telling me.

"You better get back to your seat." She pointed to the door just as our instructor breezed through it.

I spent all of English class staring intently across the room trying to figure out just what was going on. When Carlisle called days ago, I hadn't gotten even a hint from him that something was wrong yet everything about Alice's demeanor screamed it.

When the bell rang Alice was one of the first students to flit out of the room and I knew if she didn't want me to catch up to her I wouldn't. I had a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach as I walked to calculus. I could just ditch school and head over to the hospital in hopes of finding Carlisle there and getting him to tell me what was going on. I could spend the day badgering Alice into telling me. I could call the Cullen house and if I was lucky enough Edward might answer and if not that at least Esme rather than Rosalie.

I entered my class still considering my options when I looked up and saw Edward across the room smiling at me.


	16. 15 Deja Vu

Quiet Rage: _Déjà vu_

**Edward's POV –**

**  
**"I knew it….I knew it!" Alice burst into my room arms waving and a wide grin consuming her face. I rolled my eyes wishing that my sister and her _'gift'_ would just disappear sometimes.

"Would you like a gold star?" I asked sarcastically. Now it was Alice's turn to roll her eyes. I couldn't help but smile at her all knowing expression.

"No. But a _'yes, Alice, you are always right'_ would do just fine." She said smug smile crossing her lips. "Seriously, it's about time you came back to school. I was beginning to wonder if you were ever going to make up your mind."

I knew she was referring to my complete indecision for that last few days. I toggled between storming my way back into Bella's life and just slinking away as if I had never returned. I tried to focus on Bella's words. Her telling me to go rather than the things I thought I saw. Words were concrete. Words couldn't be denied. However my sight could be clouded, clouded by my wants, desires. I could see what I wanted to see and not what was really right in front of me.

It was when I reminded myself of my own concrete words – lies – that I knew words could be just as subjective as my own sight. It was in that moment that I decided it was time to get back in the game. Not to mention that I couldn't shake the intense sensation that there was something desperately wrong in my love's life.

"Bella's going to…"

"You can't tell her." I cut Alice off before she could finish. "I don't want her to know that I'm there."

"What?" Alice scoffed at me.

"No, I'm not going to hide in the shadows," I answered her questioning thoughts. "I just want to surprise her."

"Oh she's going to be surprised. Shocked I'd bet. I thought her stunned reaction to seeing me at school was something to see – but your arrival well I can't wait for that."

I could tell Alice was ready to bounce off the walls. "You can't tell her. Do you understand? I don't care what you have to do but I don't want her to know until she sees me for the first time." If I was honest with myself, I would admit to being worried that if Bella knew I had returned to school she would find a way to avoid me. And that still very well could happen but I first wanted to see her honest unadulterated reaction to my presence. I would take what happened from then as it came.

"I know how to keep a secret, Edward." Alice did her best to sound offended that I thought otherwise. "How long do I have to keep quiet?" I figured she was gauging her resolve by the tone of her thoughts

"Just until after first period." I answered. "You can do this Alice. For me please."

"Fine," she relented. "But if you haven't shown yourself by lunch all bets are off!" she stressed.

"Thank you. There's something else I need to ask you."

"What?'

"Have you been able to see anything at all in Bella's future?" I knew it was a long shot but I couldn't stop myself from asking.

"No," Alice told me exasperation filling her tone. "It's so frustrating."

"Okay."

"Why?"

"Well," I hesitated for a moment.

"Edward, what is it?" Alice sat on the edge of my bed and waited.

How was I supposed to explain something to Alice that I didn't understand myself? "I don't know. There's something not right. I can't explain it but I've just got this sick feeling…."

"Are you worried Bella doesn't love you? If that's it; I know she does. Like I said, I don't need to have visions of her future to know that. It's written all over her face."

Part of me believed Alice's words. I too had seen the loving expressions on Bella's beautiful face. I had heard her pulse quicken at my touch the way it always had. But I had also heard her words. Words that told me I made my decision and she made hers. No matter if they had been lies or not, they had stung and caused me to question everything I thought I knew.

I was finally getting a glimpse of what Bella must have gone through that afternoon in the forest and the days that followed. She had to have been questioning everything she thought she knew about me – about us. I covered my face and let out a heavy sigh. What had I done to her, to myself?

"I'll do the best I can." Alice rested her hand softly on my shoulder.

"Thank you."

"I love her, too." She said referring to her own feelings for Bella.

"I know."

"I'll see you at school."

"Remember, it's our secret!" I called to her retreating form.

From downstairs I heard Carlisle saying good-bye to Esme as he headed to the hospital. It had just been a few days before that I had pressed for him to call and check on Bella. I wanted to do it myself yet I knew that wasn't possible, so having Carlisle do it was the next best thing.

I probed his thoughts while he spoke to her but nothing I was able to gain gave away anything that I didn't already know. When Carlisle hung up, I was still in the dark as much as I had been before he called not to mention that that call had done nothing to rid me of the sinking feeling consuming me mind, body and soul – that is if I had a soul. Bella thought I did so at the moment I was going with that.

I slipped out to the garage quietly. No one but Alice knew I was planning a return to high school that morning. Looking around at the various vehicles my family had amassed over our existence, I tried to pick the least descript one to use as my mode of transportation that day. I knew my silver Volvo was most definitely out. Bella would spot that in an instant. My gaze fell on the motorcycle that sat in the far corner. Jasper's latest toy he acquired before the family's abrupt return to Forks. It was the one vehicle I knew that Bella had no prior knowledge of. It would work nicely for my cover. I hoped Jasper wouldn't mind my using it.

Entering through a side door dramatically cut down the chances that I would run into Bella. I wound through the throngs of students on my way to the office. The murmurs started almost immediately when it registered to those around me that – I was back. It was almost funny to listen to their speculating thoughts and those few gasps audible to me yet silent to the masses.

"Good morning, Mrs. Cope," I said in my best velvet smooth voice. I suppressed a chuckle when at the sight of me she dropped the stack of papers she was holding.

"Oh Edward…I didn't see you there." Easily I picked up her accelerated heart rate.

"I apologize. I didn't mean to startle you."

"That's quite all right. What can I do for you?"

_'get a hold of yourself Marie. You're a married woman and he's a teenager for heaven sakes.' _

I tried not to snicker as I heard what she was thinking. I had gotten the same human reactions and thoughts repeatedly but they never ceased to make me laugh. I knew I wasn't playing fair but I couldn't resist flashing her a smile – a smile that Bella once told me dazzled people. The blood rushed to Mrs. Cope's cheeks and she adjusted her jacket as if she was suddenly very uncomfortable.

Just as Alice had done days before I handed my _transfer_ papers across the counter to Mrs. Cope's outstretched hand being careful to avoid physical contact. "It seems as though I will be finishing my senior year here at Forks after all."

"It's nice to have you back." _'oh those eyes – they're hypnotic.'_

"I was hoping that you might work your magic again," I said interrupting the thoughts I was hearing. _'magic – i have magic' _Even if I hadn't been able to read her mind her puzzled expression would have given her confusion away. "Alice was so pleased that you were able to give her the schedule she had before we left. Would you be able to do that for me as well?" Again I smiled broadly pulling out all the stops. I imagined Bella would say I wasn't being fair but it was my intention to spend as much time with Bella while within the confines of these walls and I needed my previous schedule to do so.

"I'm sure that shouldn't be a problem," she said turning to her computer screen and after just a few key strokes in my hands was the schedule I had started the school year off with – all but three classes with Bella.

"Thank you. You don't know how much I appreciate this."

"It's my pleasure." _'pleasure…oh what a pleasure i bet he'd be. oh Marie stop that.'_

Quickly I turned away not wanting Mrs. Cope to see my smirk. Humans never ceased to amaze me. I walked toward my first class realizing that if I could get through this single forty-five minutes that I would be able to see Bella. The room was nearly full when I entered – an entrance that brought about a sudden silence.

_'holy shit, he's back!'_ Tyler thought.

_'i wonder if Bella knows.'_ Angela's mind raced.

_'finally some action.'_ a random voice I couldn't put a face with thought.

I took an empty seat at the back of the room as if I had never been gone. I watched the second hand of the clock hanging on the wall tick off the time until I would get to see Bella. I fidgeted in my chair even more so than I would have in keeping up with my human façade. I truly was nervous about what would come after this class was over. Apprehensions filled my mind. What would Bella's reaction be? Would she be thrilled to see me? Would she turn and run away? Would she ignore me? All those questions paraded single file through my head.

While I knew it wasn't possible – to be human again – I felt as though that's what I was. Human emotions consumed every inch of me. I had heard the thoughts of the boys around me think such similar things and I had laughed at them. However here I sat doing the exact same thing. Suddenly I actually could sympathize with their trepidation.

I looked up and saw Jessica Stanley staring at me. I wondered how I had been able to block up her incessant thoughts. Quickly she turned her head but now that I have noticed her what she will thinking bombarded me.

She was actually contemplating who would win in a fight – me or Jacob Black. How typical every high school relationship had at least one fisticuffs tied to it. I half smiled when she thought her money was on me. Of course then her thoughts took a turn I should have expected. She was focusing her energy on how to win me over if by sheer chance Bella chose Jacob. I listened as she ran down a list of things she would do to help me mend my broken heart. It was her thoughts of Bella that made me sit straighter in my seat.

_'she's not really even that pretty…how on earth did some plain faced girl get Edward Cullen of all people…why had half the male population fought over her…what does she have that i don't'_

I could have easily answered every single one of Jessica's unspoken questions if I hadn't been so furious. Bella was everything Jessica Stanley wasn't or could ever be. I knew deep down all of her thoughts were fueled by pure jealousy but that didn't make them any easier to swallow.

Finally the bell rang and I made my way to calculus – the first class I would share with Bella that day. The knot in my stomach tightened and I felt myself tense as I walked into the room. I wondered if she still sat in the same seat. I slipped into the one I remembered being hers and waited. Her scent hit me before I saw her. Momentarily I held by breath just to get a grip on myself. I had long lost the blood lust that once ruled me when it came to Bella but I still needed to be in complete control.

As she stepped over the threshold I smiled at her.

**Bella's POV –**

My mind was still swirling around Alice's strange behavior and what I planned to do about it when I looked up and my eyes saw the most dazzling smile – a smile I never thought I would see again. My eyes widened, palms began to sweat, and my heart raced. In my seat there sat Edward smiling at me like some Cheshire cat.

I shook my head suddenly half expecting the image before me to disappear but it didn't. He was still there. It felt like his absence had never happened; as if this was any Monday morning where he and I had to endure our first class of the day apart.

I stood staring at him my feet rooted to the floor. Students shoved at me making their way into the room yet I remained still. "Breathe, Bella, breathe." I heard his silken voice in my ear but my senses hadn't registered that he had even gotten up and come over to me.

Lacing his fingers through mine, Edward led me to the back of the room where we took our seats. I turned and stared at him disbelief on my face I was sure. I couldn't believe he was there, right there close enough for me to touch. I brushed my free hand over his arm and absently tapped my shoe against his all in an effort to validate that my mind wasn't playing tricks on me.

"Yes, I'm really here." He smiled as though he was reading my mind – which I knew wasn't possible. "What are you thinking?" he leaned in and whispered.

His smell was intoxicating to the point where I almost took leave of my senses and told him everything that my mind was screaming. Quickly I regained my composure, I was thinking so many things half of which I couldn't tell him. I couldn't tell him how sorry I was that I sent him away. I couldn't say how it broke me to see the hurt in his amber eyes when Jacob called himself my husband. I wasn't able to tell him how afraid I was for him and his family. I couldn't say how much I loved him and wanted him. None of those things could I say.

"I'm surprised to see you. I figured you would have been long gone by now." I hoped to have enough bite to my voice. I had to find a way to keep a distance between us. I couldn't allow myself to get lost in his presence. However the battle between my heart and head raged on. Here in the safety of school my heart was winning. Edward sitting next to me, touching me, my heart was getting exactly what my head told it it couldn't have. Now I sat there my heart taunting my head while it struggled to gain control.

I half expected him to drop my hand yet he only held tighter. "I won't be making the same mistake twice."

We continued holding hands arms dangling between our seats as class began. I felt like I was drowning in sheer ecstasy and sheer terror at the very same time. Ecstasy came from the way Edward gazed at me. The way our hands melded together to form one. If I could have frozen a moment in time I would have done it now; the rest of world fallen away leaving only Edward and me. Gone was the others in the class, gone was the lecture taking place at the front of the room there was nothing but Edward and me.

At last my head gained partial control and the terror that had taken a backseat pushed itself to the forefront of my mind. Jacob's threats against Edward, and inadvertently, all of the Cullens held me captive. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw my soul mate. I had lived through his absence and to save him I could do it again. I had to.

Once more the heart volleyed for domination attempting to reason with the head saying things like we were safe here. In school I could have what I so desperately wanted. I could be with Edward no fear, no worry of Jacob's reprisals. My heart urged my head to comply, to allow me some happiness even if it was only fleeting at best.

Yet the head pushed forth recollections of how shattered the heart had been. It asked questions like could my heart survive only having a quarter of what it knew it truly wanted? How long would only that be enough? How long would it be before I wanted more? What would the consequences be if my heart won this ongoing battle? Could I survive what it would ultimately cost?

I turned and stared intently at Edward and answered yes to every one of my head's pointed questions. I wanted Edward. I wanted him in my life even if it was only in mere snippets. I was willing to take what I could get. That should have scared the hell out me but it didn't. I was almost relieved to have made the decision. My resolve was to relish the time I had been given with him, allow it to give me the strength I needed to live through the parts of my life Edward was not present for.

The next two classes before lunch Edward and I had together. I tried to ignore the obvious stares from my classmates. Many of them had attended my wedding to Jacob and to them I knew I looked like an adulterous wife. I felt a twinge of guilt and tried to rationalize it away by thinking that none of them had a clue what my marriage was really about.

I did watch Edward's face to gauge his expression certain that he was picking out the thoughts of those around us. If I had had the nerve I would have asked him what was going through their minds behind their stares, but I didn't chance giving my head the ammunition it needed to change its mind.

As we entered the cafeteria Alice bombarded me. "Bella!" she shrieked nearly toppling both of us to the ground. Luckily for me Edward caught me before I could fall. "He swore me to secrecy!"

"What?" I looked between the pair of them.

"He made me promise not to tell you he was coming back to school. He wanted to surprise you. So did he? Were you surprised?"

"Oh yeah." I looked up at Edward as he grinned sheepishly back at me.

"I'm sorry about English this morning. I knew if I really talked to you I would have to tell you and well you know the whole sworn to secrecy thing. You aren't mad are you?"

"No Alice, at least I understand now."

"Let's go get a table." She suggested pulling at my arm.

"How about we head outside?" Edward countered giving his sister a knowing glance. I guessed he didn't want us to be the topic of the lunchtime conversations or at least he didn't want to listen to them.

"Sure." Alice agreed.

It was quiet out in the quad overcast as always with a mist that forever hung in the air around Forks. I leaned against Edward's hard chest and cataloged each and every moment for future reference. His strong arms cradled me as his fingers laced through mine. Alice was chattering on the way she always did telling me funny family stories, mostly about Emmett. He was the Cullen family clown. I couldn't help but laugh along with her yet I was a little sad that I had missed so much while they were gone.

"Are you feeling okay?" Edward asked "You haven't touched a single thing on your tray."

"Neither have you," I said knowing his was merely a prop.

"Very funny. Seriously are you okay?" His icy fingers trailed across my cheek. I shivered at the electric shock that shot through my frame. "You still look a bit pale."

"I'm fine. Just not all that hungry." I didn't want to let him know that more often than not I was still queasy. I didn't want to lose a minute of our time together with him worrying needlessly.

The bell ending the lunch period pierced the air. Edward brushed his lips against my forehead. "I'll see you after Econ," he said.

This was the other class we had to endure separation. I was glad at least Alice and I had French together. She linked her arm through mine and pulled me away from Edward. I looked over my shoulder memorizing every single one of his features adding another page in my catalog to pull out when I couldn't be with him.

The remainder of the school day commenced with Edward and I sharing classes and time together. I was sad when the bell ending the day rang. It meant the end of my time with him. I suppressed the tears the threatened to spill as we headed to the parking lot.

"Bella, Bella," Mike Newton's voice called from across the lot. Edward and I stopped as he jogged toward us. Both Mike and Edward tensed as they stood facing one another. "My car's behind the school. I didn't want you to think I forgot about you."

"Forgot about her?" Edward said curiously.

"I have to work tonight. Mike is giving me a ride." I offered a sketchy explanation.

"What's wrong with your truck?" he asked me.

"Jacob, you know her husband," Mike pointed out. "drove her to school this morning." Edward raised his brow as if to silently question why. "I told him I would give her a ride to work since he had his own work conflict."

At the moment I wanted to ring Mike Newton's neck. I could see the questions forming in Edward's mind not to mention that I hated the way he had to point out that Jacob was my husband. It wasn't like Mike hadn't been at the wedding and didn't know full well that Edward knew I was married to Jacob. I didn't see the need to twist the knife – even though isn't that what I was doing trying to lead a double life.

"Is something wrong with your truck?" he asked again.

"No." I answered trying to avoid Edward's probing eyes. "He," for some reason in Edward's presence I wasn't about to say Jacob's name. "was worried about me driving."

"Why?" Edward pressed. This was so where I didn't want to go. I didn't want him to know that that morning I was dizzy. "Bella." He reached for my hand and suddenly I wasn't able to refuse him.

"I just moved too fast and had a little head rush. He freaked out is all."

"So you're still dizzy? How long has this been happening? Maybe you should go see Carlisle."

"Edward, I'm fine."

It wasn't until Mike spoke that I realized he was still standing in front of us. "So you ready to go?" he asked.

"I'll make sure she gets to work," Edward announced.

"What?"

"I said I'll make sure Bella gets to work."

"But…" Mike stuttered. "Bella."

"See you at work Mike." I shouldn't be going with Edward. I should have stuck to what Jacob thought was going to be happening however I took the opportunity to spend just a little more time with Edward.

My four hour shift at the sporting goods store was strained to say the least. Mike barely spoke to me but I knew he was mad. So I was glad when the clock read seven-thirty and I could make a quick exit. I already had one part of my life filled with strained silences I certainly didn't need another. I put a call into Charlie and waited for him outside to come and pick me up.

"Thanks for the ride, Dad."

"Any time Bells. Where's Jake?" he questioned staring at our dark house.

"He's working. That's why I needed the ride remember?" I gave my dad a funny look. Was he getting forgetful in his old age?

"Yeah…but I thought he'd be here by now."

"He said they were really busy. I'm sure he just got caught up with something."

"Bells, I don't like that he leaves you alone so much. It's not right."

"It's fine." Actually for me it was more than fine. The more Jacob was gone the less I had to pretend that all was right with the world. "Thanks again for the ride." The last thing I wanted was a long drawn out conversation with my father. I kissed him on the cheek and quickly got out of his cruiser. "Night," I said before closing the passenger door behind me.

I milled around the silent house for a while enjoying the peace that the stillness offered me. I thought about Edward. I missed him. I longed to be with him. But I stopped those yearnings. I swore that I could do this. I could live this double life. I felt the war raging within telling me that it wasn't going to work but I refused. It could work – it would work!

Quickly I got ready for bed and crawled between the cool sheets thinking of Edward. Half asleep I felt Jacob's side of the bed dip. In the same motion his lips pressed against my neck. I squeezed my eyes tightly and allowed my groggy state to pull me into dreams – dreams that I hoped would be filled with Edward.


	17. 16 Differences

Quiet Rage: _Differences_

**Charlie's POV –**

It had been three weeks since Bella's attack and I still wasn't any closer to figuring out who dared to hurt my daughter. I shuffled through the stack of papers my eyes falling on the images of Bella's bruised arms and the enflamed gash on her back that had been taken when she was admitted to the hospital. I reread Carlisle Cullen's account of her injuries and some speculation on his part as to what could have caused them. My fingers tightened around the thin paper creasing and contorting it in an effort to make the reality of what happened disappear.

I knew how much Bella wanted me to let this all go. I had asked her several different times if she recalled anything at all from that day – nothing. And the more I questioned the more adamant she got. My gut told me to be suspicious and I knew I would have been if I had been questioning someone other than my daughter, but I let it drop. Well at least as far as Bella knew I had.

Yet here I sat running over the same things again and again trying to make sense out of it all. It wasn't that this just happened to my daughter that had me not wanting to let it rest but the town of Forks depended on me to do my job to the best of my ability. I rationalized that's what I was doing – just doing my job and if I got to catch the animal that hurt Bella in the process all the better.

I played with the thought of heading out to LaPush under the guise of catching up with Billy and Sue Clearwater, but mostly I wanted to check in on Bella. Lately, it seemed as though Jacob was spending far too much time away from his new bride. Every time I turned around I was hearing one excuse or another for why he wasn't home. That was such the antithesis of what I had to deal with when Edward Cullen had been a part of my daughter's life. I couldn't keep him away.

The hairs on the back of my neck stood on end at the thought of Edward. Yet there was no denying how differently he had treated Bella when they were a couple compared to the way I was seeing Jacob treat her now and they were married. Cullen barely left her side unless absolutely forced to. It used to drive me crazy. However, Jacob's lack of interest was having the same effect on me now – driving me crazy. Not to mention that I was still beyond irritated that nearly forty-eight hours had gone by without Jacob even realizing Bella was missing. That was just wrong on so many levels I couldn't even begin to explain it. Edward Cullen would have never allowed Bella to disappear for that long without turning the town of Forks upside down to find her, much less not say a thing about it.

Bella had barely left for Phoenix before Edward had chased after her in an attempt to bring her home. I shuddered at that memory. I was lucky my baby girl was still alive after that nightmare – falling down a flight of stairs and then through a plate glass window. Through it all Edward never once left her side. He had been there day in and day out. I couldn't help wondering if Jacob would have done the same.

I shook my head in an outward attempt to clear my mind. I couldn't allow myself to compare Edward and Jacob since for me there was no comparison. Edward broke Bella's heart; Jacob put it back together. Edward was gone; Jacob was here. Edward made Bella cry; Jacob got her to laugh again. Edward, not Jacob, was the bad guy. He once may have put my daughter above all else but that had changed. Maybe that was the whole trouble in the first place; he got bored and needed to move on. Jacob wasn't making Bella his whole world like Edward had. Jacob had balance in his life. No Edward was most definitely the bad guy, I reasoned with myself.

"Chief Swan." The voice from beyond my office door forced me from my thoughts.

"Yes," I said to the deputy.

"I have some information on your daughter's case."

"Hand it over," I said eagerly.

"We were finally able to interview the nurse that had been on duty the day Bella was brought into the emergency room. She had been on vacation for the last week. She was able to give us a pretty decent description of the individual that brought Bella in."

"Great!" I knew my voice sounded excited and I should have kept my cool in front of my subordinates but this was the first real break we had gotten. "That'll be all. Close the door behind you." I instructed.

When I heard the latch click against the strike plate I opened the file and began reading the rather vivid description of the person who took Bella to the hospital. Instantly, I had a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach but I continued reading. I closed the file and reopened it thinking that perhaps that small action would change the printed words on the page. It didn't. My breathing slowed as I tried to wrap my mind around the idea of what I was reading but more importantly what I was going to do with the information.

**Carlisle's POV –**

I felt Esme's delicate hand on my shoulder and I looked up from the medical journal I was reading to see her worried expression. "What is it?" I asked pulling her easily onto my lap.

"It's Edward…." I watched her struggle for the right words but by her face I could tell she was as worried about our son as I was. He was determined to fight for his love, for Bella, but I had to wonder how much that fight might cost him.

"I know," gently I stroked the back of my hand against Esme's alabaster skin. "But he's happy," I tried to reason with myself and her.

The change in Edward's demeanor was more than a little noticeable. No longer was he tucked away in his room for never ending hours of the day and night. Every now and again I even caught a smile crossing his lips. He had taken to playing the piano once more. I knew the reason for all those things – the hope that he and Bella would be one again. I couldn't squash that hope since I too wanted Bella to be part of our family as she had been before, yet I couldn't ignore the fact that no matter what time Edward was able to steal with her during the hours of school, she was still married to Jacob Black. And that didn't appear to be changing any time soon.

"Yes," Esme agreed, "but for how long?"

"I don't know. There's only one person who can know that."

"Bella." My wife whispered.

"Yes," I agreed.

"What if she doesn't love him enough?"

"She does," Alice's voice came out from behind the doorway. "That much I can see. She loves Edward as much as he does her."

"Then why is she still married?" I heard the edge to Esme's voice, the edge any mother would have for a child they thought was in harms way. "Why did she even get married in the first place?"

I pulled back and gave my wife a knowing stare. "That's not quite fair now is it?" I knew I was playing devil's advocate but I couldn't help myself. "It was Edward that changed his mind. He finally realized what we knew all along – he couldn't live without Bella. He has to live with the consequences of his actions."

I knew how harsh my words sounded. The last thing I wanted for any of my family was pain. I had watched Edward's anguish consume him and I knew how much his being with Bella even for the short snippets of time he could get right now had given his soulless existence a reason for being. I couldn't take that away from him. All I could do was be there if the time came when the world Edward wanted and the world he got didn't mesh.

"He did what he thought was right to protect her," Esme reasoned to me.

"And we see how well that worked," Alice scoffed. I had almost forgotten she was in the room with us. "She's married to a werewolf and I can't see a damn thing about her life when she's around him."

"What can you see?" I asked my adoptive daughter.

I was more than a little curious when it came to Bella's life with Jacob. I couldn't help but think there was more to her not wanting me to call either him or Charlie when she was injured, than just wanting to spend more time with Edward. She was noticeably frightened and again I had to wonder if there was more to that fear than just the inevitable confrontation between werewolf and vampire.

"Besides that Bella and Edward belong together?"

"Yes," I sighed.

"Not much. I'm still getting pretty much disjointed images and things that don't really fit together. And when we are all at school all of Bella's decisions focus on Edward."

"So she hasn't decided to leave Jacob?" Esme chimed in impatiently.

"She's thought about it but no decision has been made or if it has it's been when she's been out of my vision."

I heard the frustration in her voice. It was easy to see how being blind when it came to Bella was effecting her. "Alice, don't worry," I said placing my arm softly around her shoulder. "This was Edward's decision. He'll have to handle this the way he needs to."

"I know," Alice agreed. "I just don't like feeling so helpless."

**Bella's POV –**

I pulled the brush through my knotted hair and stared at the image that looked back at me from the mirror. I glanced at my watch and knew if I didn't get a move on I was going to be late for work. Lately I only seemed to move quickly when it meant that I would be getting to Edward sooner. Each day I arrived at school earlier and earlier so that I could drink in all the extra time with him I could get. He never disappointed me as no matter what time I arrived at the school lot there sat his silver Volvo and he would jump out and meet me at my truck before I could even blink.

I smiled at the thought of how his icy fingers felt laced through mine. I knew that I should have cared more about what Edward and I must have looked like to our classmates. I knew I should have been more careful about the stolen moments of affection that I am sure that many were witness to. But I didn't care. All I wanted was to relish in the time I had to spend with him. I wanted to, needed to get lost in it so that the time away from him I could find a way to breathe still.

Yet I realized that erring on the side of caution would be best for all involved. I had been keeping up appearances for Jacob. I was where I was supposed to be when I was supposed to be so he could never question me. I played the part of dutiful wife quite well when it came to the pack. The only one I wasn't sure I was fooling was Emily. I had done my best though to keep as much distance between the two of us as I could. Every once in a while I would catch her staring intently at Jacob and then me as if she was trying to read the underlying current that flowed between us.

I knew that she was just concerned and that she was trying to be a good friend to me but she couldn't even begin to comprehend my situation. Her and Sam's life was such a far cry from mine and Jacob's. Emily had only ever loved Sam. Her heart had never had to make the decisions mine had to. I appreciated all she was trying to do but I had to make this work no matter how much harder leading this dual life was than I expected it to be.

At the sound of the slamming door I jumped. "Damn," I said softly. I had wanted to be gone before Jacob had returned from patrolling.

"Cool, you're still here," I heard him say as he poked his head into the bathroom. "Billy just said that Charlie invited him to dinner tonight and that he was supposed to pass along the invitation to us as well."

"Dinner at my dad's?" I knew my voice sounded shocked because I was. My dad couldn't cook much except maybe bacon and eggs and I was pretty sure that that wouldn't go over well as a main course. "My dad is going to cook dinner?" I asked with a raised brow.

"Apparently," Jacob laughed.

"Well this should be interesting don't you think?" I countered as I reached to turn off the bathroom light. "Oh man, I so going to be late. What time is dinner supposed to be?" I asked while I walked around the room gathering my things.

"Billy said Charlie told him around six or so."

"Okay well I will have to meet you there since that's about the time I get off of work."

"Well I was thinking that I could just drive you to work now and then swing by after your shift and we could go to your dad's together."

Jacob smiled at me with his infectious grin that once had been my saving grace but now it only served to make my existence all the more difficult. For the last several weeks Jacob's mannerisms had changed. He was beginning to resemble the person who I used to know. That only served to complicate the double life I was attempting to lead. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt Jacob the way I had been yet I found myself unable to stop from wanting what little time I could spend with Edward.

"What about Billy? How's he getting into town?"

"Charlie's coming up to go fishing with him. He'll bring him back to his house. We will just have to get him home."

"Well we better get going. At this rate I'm sure that Mike thinks I ditched working today."

"Let's go then." Jacob anxiously reached for my hand and reluctantly I placed my smaller on in his large one. I felt him tighten his grip and brightly smile at me again. Guilt consumed me as I hesitantly smiled back at him.

This was much more difficult than I ever imagined.


	18. 17 When what you don't know can hurt you

Quiet Rage: _When what you don't know can hurt you_

**Mike's POV –**

I looked at the wall clock again. It was fifteen minutes after twelve. Bella was late – Bella was never late! I peered out the large plate glass window at the traffic filing up and down the main street of Forks – no sign of Bella's lumbering red truck.

Pacing behind the counter, my thoughts were drawn to the last few weeks at school. Every where I turned there Edward was hovering over Bella every chance he got. It was sickening. Yet what made it even worse was the way Bella still looked at him like he was the be all and end all of the world. It wouldn't have surprised me one bit if she didn't come rolling in here with Edward by her side. I gritted my teeth at the very thought.

Up until Bella arrived in Forks I hadn't given much thought, if any, to the Cullens. Sure we all speculated about them, talked about them even, but mainly they kept to themselves, away from the class populous as a whole. Sure I knew a great many of the female students lusted after Edward sort of like the unattainable trophy and really even then I could have cared less. It wasn't until Edward's odd interest in Bella that I began to find reasons to dislike him. That dislike grew into full fledge hatred when it was more than a little apparent that Bella returned Edward's interest.

My vivid memories of the prom and how Edward monopolized all of Bella's time that evening made me want to wretch. He never let her out of his grasp much less his sight that night. It was always like that. Edward hovering but worse still Bella seemed to be enthralled by it all.

From the looks of things everything came easy to the Cullens. Admittedly they all were good looking. They never seemed to want for much of anything. They drove expensive cars, lived in what I was told was a house of mansion like proportions even though I had never seen it. Apparently Edward Cullen was used to getting what he wanted – well maybe not no matter what he was trying to pull with Bella since his return she was still married to Jacob Black. So maybe, just maybe, there was one thing in this life that he couldn't have after all.

The throaty sound of an exhaust just beyond the door pulled my gaze toward it. Apparently my speculations had been wrong; Bella wasn't with Edward at all but with her husband. That certainly surprised me. Before she climbed out of the little VW Rabbit, Jacob leaned in and kissed her on the cheek. Again I felt my jaw clench. Okay so she wasn't with Edward but watching someone else kissing Bella – someone that wasn't me – set off the tiny green eyed monster that lived deep within me when it came to her.

**Bella's POV –**

Jacob aimed for my lips but I was able to turn my head quick enough so that he was only able to make contact with my cheek. "I'll see you at six," he said to me as I climbed out of the passenger side of the car.

"Okay," I returned absently knowing that I was already so late. I didn't want to waste anymore time idly talking to Jacob.

Without bothering to look back and wave as Jacob sped away, I quickly headed for the entrance of the Newton's sporting goods store. "I know, I know, I'm late. I'm really sorry." I said hastily before Mike was able to say anything to me.

"It's not like we are overrun with customers." Mike motioned to the rather quiet store yet I couldn't help but tell there was a strange sharpness to his voice.

"Okay," I said back trying to gauge how the rest of my day with him was going to be. I so didn't need another complication. "Does your mom still need the new inventory catalogued?" I asked.

"I guess."

Pulling back and giving Mike a perplexed look I almost questioned him on his peculiar attitude but thought better of it. "Well, I guess I'll get to work on that then."

"Whatever."

I shook my head and went to work. Settling into the corner of the store surrounded by a mountain of boxes, I looked over the list Mrs. Newton had left for us the other day. There was a lot of work in front of me but I was thankful for the distraction. As of late I was having a tough time keeping my thoughts from wandering to Edward and Jacob.

There was no denying that as long as I played by Jacob's rules he was manageable, almost like the Jacob I remembered. I had seen a dramatic change in his attitude lately. He was talking to me, not at me. And even though I still felt myself tense when he would approach me, he hadn't lifted a finger to hurt me. I almost had convinced myself that the worst was over – that I could do this. All I had to do was keep Jacob placated and all would be right with the world, at least that half of my world.

Letting out a heavy sigh, I thought about Edward and how limited the time was we got to spend together. Those few hours within the confines of Forks High School weren't nearly enough but it had to be. I couldn't take the chance that Jacob would make good on his threats to remove Edward from the world. That thought momentarily paralyzed me. I honestly didn't know what the outcome would be if the Cullens and Jacob's pack came to blows but I wasn't willing to take the chance to find out. If that happened I could lose so many important people from my life and not just Edward and his family but many of the _"wolves" _that were now like family to me.

Resting my forehead against the clipboard, I heaved a heavy sigh and contemplated how long I could really live this divided life. I didn't want to give credence to all those arguments that my head had put forth, arguments that my heart one by one shot down in an effort to get what it wanted – time with Edward. I squared my shoulders and strengthened my resolve to do what had to be done. I could do it. Jacob was much calmer now. He wasn't so easily angered and now I knew what not to do to provoke him. If all of that allowed me to spend time with Edward than for me it was a win-win situation. _Or was it?_ my conscience picked at me. Absently I brushed away such thoughts and concentrated on the task at hand.

I looked at my watch. It was just a little passed four o'clock. I still had just a little less than two hours before my shift was over. If had had my truck I would have asked Mike if I could skip out early and go see if I could help my dad with the dinner he was planning. I was more than a little scared as to what he was actually going to feed us. But without a vehicle at my disposal, I had to find something else in the store to keep me busy.

"Do you mind?" I asked Mike showing him my Economics book. He just nodded. That was more than a little weird. I don't ever remembering working a shift with Mike that he hadn't attempted to talk my ear off. "You okay?" I finally couldn't help but ask.

"Fine, why?"

"I don't know. You're just so quiet. Kind of un-Mike-like." I laughed hoping to get a smile from him.

"I'm fine."

Okay, well I tried. I wasn't about to take on one more challenge. Whatever was wrong with Mike he would have to work it out on his own. I opened my Economics book, pulled out the stock pages from the New York Times and started looking over the statistics, which might as well have been a foreign language to me, trying to pick a few stocks with what seemed like a good performance record that Angela and I could use for our project.

I stared at the tiny print until my eyes were crossed and I didn't have a clue what any of the numbers actually meant. I probably would have done better if I had been reading Chinese. It was then that I felt Mike's warm breath against the back of my neck. "Can I help you?" I asked without looking up at him.

"Just curious what you and Angela came up with for your portfolio."

"See," I held up the piece of notebook paper which was noticeably blank.

"You haven't picked anything yet?" He sounded more than a little surprised.

"I can't make heads or tails out of this stuff. How am I supposed to pick the good ones?" Exasperation filled my voice.

"Lucky for me I got paired with super genius!" Mike's tone had more than just a little bit of bite to it.

"Super genius?" Now I was intrigued.

"Would you believe that since there's an odd number in our Econ class and you were already partnered up with Angela I got stuck with a student from one of Mr. Simons other classes."

I didn't like the way Mike was insinuating it was my fault he got stuck with a partner he didn't really want. "Angela asked me first," I stressed. "So who's this super genius?" I decided to not engage in Mike's pity party.

"Cullen, and no it's not Alice," he said before I was even able to ask.

"Edward?" I couldn't hide the stunned nature of my tone. _Oh my_ I thought to myself trying to stifle a giggle. The idea of Mike and Edward being paired for anything was hilarious. I was sort of surprised Edward hadn't mentioned it. I thought for sure he wouldn't be able to keep quiet when it came to something like that. He despised Mike even more than Mike disliked him.

"Yeah." Mike did little to hide his disgust from me.

"Oh, so how's that going?" I had to ask.

"How do you think? _'Mr. Know It All'_ has all the answers and no matter what I say he's always shooting my ideas down."

If Mike only knew what a gold mine he had landing Edward as a partner. Not only was he smart and had lived through enough decades to probably know all the secrets of the stock market, he had Alice to pretty much predict any market trend just as it was about to happen. Mike was guaranteed an A. I was actually a little jealous – for two reasons really. The automatic A and the time he would get to spend with Edward, not that Mike even remotely saw it that way. Oh to be a fly on the wall when those two were working together, I giggled at the thought.

"He's pretty smart. You might do well to follow his lead."

"Of course you would defend him," Mike huffed angrily.

The bell above the door rang announcing customers before I was able to say anything more to Mike. I looked up and saw Jasper and Edward entering the store.

**Edward's POV –**

Once more I was filled human feelings of anxiousness as I waited for Jasper to exit Emmett's jeep. Bella was mere feet from me; all I could think about was getting to see her. I knew I was playing with fire by approaching her outside of school, yet we had the perfect cover – a hiking trip and what better place to supplement our camping gear than at Newton's?

It was a known fact around Forks that as a family we took a great many _'camping'_ trips. Any of us showing up at the local sporting goods store wasn't at all out of the ordinary. "Come on," I impatiently tapped my foot as Jasper lagged behind. He hadn't wanted to do this with me but Alice had worked her magic and had gotten him to agree to come. I knew Emmett would have jumped at the chance to see Bella but I decided bringing him would have been like setting a bull loose in a china shop. The outcome was never good.

"Are you sure about this?" Jasper asked his question after he thought it first. I would have answered him either way.

"Positive. I know, I know."

I answered his unspoken remark about Bella still being married to Jacob. It wasn't like I hadn't thought about that day and night. It was something that if I had been human I would have used sleep to escape from but since that wasn't an option for me I spent a great many hours contemplating it all.

There was most definitely a large part of me that wanted to force Bella's hand – make her choose between me and him. I thought I knew who she would choose yet there was a part of me that was still just a bit uncertain. Perhaps it was that part of me that allowed the situation I found myself in to continue. Having Bella even for just small amounts of time was far better than alternative – not having her at all. I couldn't bare that.

I assumed Bella had her reasons for remaining married to Jacob and I hoped that one day she would confide them to me. Not to mention that there was still an odd sensation that flooded me telling me that there was something underlying happening in her life. Something that Alice couldn't see and that something had me on edge, enough to take what I could get in order to advert whatever it was I couldn't quite understand yet.

"I still think this is a bad idea. Are you sure Bella's even working today? I don't see her truck." Jasper pointed out to me.

"She said she was." Suddenly I felt my hardened heart drop into the pit of my stomach at the thought of not seeing her.

"Edward," Jasper's hand came to rest on my shoulder. "You know how I feel about all of this. Forgiven or not, I still feel responsible for setting all these events into motion so long ago. I will do what I can," he paused for a second and I waited. "I just don't want to see you get hurt."

"I can't be hurt any worse than I was being apart from Bella all those months. It was my decision to leave and it's my decision to stay and fight for what I want. I will handle what happens no matter what that might be."

"Okay let's do this," Jasper announced as I watched him push open the door and enter Newton's store.

Instantly Bella's scent filled my nostrils, she was most definitely working today. "Jasper, Edward, hi." She smiled walking towards us.

"I thought you were off at college?" I looked over Bella's shoulder to see Mike making his way to us hot on her trail.

"Home for the weekend," Jasper answered flawlessly.

"Carlisle and Esme wanted the whole family to go camping since Jazz, Rosalie and Emmett are home. We need to get a few things. You think you could help us?" I said as an explanation as well as a question.

"What do you need?" Mike piped in much to my chagrin.

"I was speaking to Bella."

"I could use your help," Jasper announced and instantly I felt the mood in the room change. I nodded to my brother my thanks for getting Mike Newton out of my hair even if only momentarily.

"Okay," Mike answered.

I noticed the puzzled expression that crossed his face. It was always humorous to witness a human's reaction to Jasper's gift. They always looked like they didn't know why they were doing what they were but they were enjoying it just the same.

"Where were we?" I asked turning back to Bella instantly reaching for her delicate hand. I heard the sudden rushing of the blood in her veins as her heartbeat quicken noticeably.

"You said something about needing my help." Her voice was barely a whisper and I knew she was trying to catch her breath. I smiled inwardly enjoying the effect I was still able to elicit from her. That fact gave me the tiniest hope. "Do you know what you are looking for?"

"Most definitely," I announced staring into her deep cocoa eyes as I gave her hand a gentle squeeze.

Bella's cheeks instantly turned crimson. I led her to the corner of store farthest away from where Jasper had Mike Newton occupied. I was unable to resist the urge to bring my lips to hers. Quickly glancing over her shoulder to make sure that we were as alone as we could be in the store and I brought my smooth hard lips down on hers. I felt her eagerly return my affections. For just a moment I allowed the exchange to deepen to a point that I wasn't sure I could return from. Bella's fingers twisted in my hair and I felt a gentle tug as she attempted to part my lips with her tongue. It was at the moment that I pulled back suddenly gaining my composure.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I shouldn't have…."

Putting my icy finger against her full lips I silenced her words. "It was I who shouldn't have. I can't let myself lose control like that especially in such a public place. It could be dangerous for many reasons."

"Edward," she began but stopped short.

I so desperately wanted to be able to read her thoughts right now. I wanted, needed to know what was going through her mind. Did she want me as badly as I wanted her? Did she miss me as much as I missed her? "Yes love?"

"Nothing," there was a hesitation in her voice.

My heart sank a bit lower in my chest. I wanted so much for her to trust me, but hadn't I been the one to break that trust? I couldn't expect it to just miraculously return just because I had. I had to be patient and really time was something I had in great abundance.

"Which of these is the top of the line sleeping bag?" I was sure I saw Bella smirk at my question as she knew full well not a one of my family was in need of a _'sleeping'_ bag.

"We sell a lot of these." I smiled back at her as she diligently played along with the charade.

I relished every chance I got to touch her and feel her warm skin against mine. As she stood on her tip toes to reach another object that my family didn't need or wouldn't use her shirt skidded up revealing a few inches of her fair skin. I pulled my hand back as it fought against me having the need of its own to reach out and touch her.

"Here," I offered as way to pull myself back into reality.

"Thanks," she smiled back at me her cheeks again flushed pink.

I let out an unnecessary breath trying to gain my own composure suddenly thinking that maybe Jasper was right about this not being my best idea. I was quickly realizing that I wasn't as in control of myself as I would like to be.

**Jasper's POV –**

My brain was on fire. No matter how hard I tried to soothe Mike Newton animosity oozed from him. I had never realized how much he hated Edward until that very moment. Until now I hadn't ever paid much attention to Mike Newton or any of the humans that filled my classes when I had attended Forks High School. Apparently I completely missed the major issues this one had with my brother especially when it came to Bella.

I idly passed the time asking question after question to keep Mike occupied long enough for Edward to steal his time with Bella. My eyes scanned the large store trying to get a handle on where the two of them had gone. Edward knew how to be discreet so I wasn't worried so much about that but I was trying to get a read on Bella's emotions. I wanted to know what she was feeling having Edward so close again.

I still did feel completely responsible for pushing Edward over the edge. I had one momentarily lapse of control and everything after that went to hell in a hand basket so to speak. Edward pushed Bella away, the family moved away from a the first place we all felt comfortable, and even though I hadn't a clue what Bella had gone through while we were gone it obviously had been bad enough that she ended up married to a werewolf.

"Are you going buy anything that I've shown you?" Mike's irritated tone brought me back to reality.

"I'm not sure really."

"I should have known you weren't here to buy anything," Mike scoffed at me. "He's just here to make time with Bella again. What the hell's wrong with your brother? She's married for christ sake. Doesn't he know when to quit?"

I pretty much had all I could take of Mike Newton. He had worn my nerves thin. I finally caught sight of Edward and Bella coming around the corner and I took that opportunity for us to make our exit whether Edward liked it or not.

"You get what you needed?" I quickly asked as they approached.

"I think so." Edward looked at Bella as though they had rehearsed some sort of secret dialogue.

"I'll have Mrs. Newton place the order for seven of the forty below sleeping bags. They should be in within a few days." Bella smiled brightly at the three of us.

"It looks like we are good to go then," Edward said to me.

"Good, it's just about closing time." Mike motioned to the clock hanging over heard.

Suddenly the relaxed way Bella was vanished and she was filled with tension. Her eyes clouded over as they darted between where we stood and the door. I tried to ease her anxiety and it worked momentarily yet there was still a part of her that was anxious. Her behavior puzzled me. While she had always been an anomaly something about this was even more so.

"Thanks for all your time," I said as I pushed Edward toward the door.

"Yeah, whatever," Mike shot back at us.

**Mike's POV –**

I could barely look at Bella. The way she had so easily fallen back under Cullen's spell was sickening. It seemed to matter very little to either of them that she was married to someone else. Edward Cullen still had a hold over her – a hold that I had never been able to achieve. I wasn't sure if that's what burned me but I certainly wasn't going to sit idly by and let Bella's husband be played for a fool. If it had been me in his shoes, I would want someone to tell me what was going on between my wife and her ex.

**Jacob's POV –**

I drove through the streets of Forks feeling pretty pleased with myself. All things considered my threat had worked exactly the way I had wanted it to. There was still a part of me that didn't like to think about the lengths Bella was willing to go to keep _him_ and _his_ family safe but overall I felt as though Bella and I were finally getting back to a good place.

It still wasn't completely the marriage I had imagined but I was sure given enough time things would work themselves out exactly as they were should have been.

"Hey Mike," I said as the bell above my head rang. "Bella ready? I don't want to be late for dinner at Charlie's."

"I'm right here." Bella's soft voice came around the corner as she was stuffing the last of her books into her bag.

"Good luck with that Econ project," Mike said in Bella's direction. "If you ask me it's a really stupid project but what's worse is having Cullen for a partner."

Immediately I stood frozen as if someone had thrown water at my feet on a subzero day. The name Cullen bounced around my head like a bb ricocheting from target to target. "I heard Alice Cullen was back at Forks," I tried to make my voice calm. I knew Alice had transferred back to Fork High School when the Cullens returned to town. I had run into her myself that day I was looking for Bella so I shouldn't have been that shocked to hear Mike say her name but it still sent a chill down my spine.

"No not Alice, Edward." Mike corrected me.

I turned to stare at Bella whose face had instantly blanched.


	19. 18 Sucker Punch

Quiet Rage: _Sucker Punch_

**Jacob's POV –**

_"No not Alice, Edward."_

Newton's announcement reverberated in my head. Edward – Edward – Edward over and over again until I thought I would go crazy. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Bella's reaction. She looked as sick as I felt only hers was for an entirely different reason. She had been caught and she knew it. Her face was as white as a ghost, even whiter if that was possible. I saw her eyes dart between me and Newton and for a split second I almost wondered if she was ready to dart. However I didn't let her. Immediately I reached for her hand holding her in place. She tensed at my touch which only served to heighten my fury.

"Better you than me," I said to Mike Newton with as much control in my voice as I could manage. All the while my muscles quivered as I tried to hold onto what little self restraint my brain could wield over my body.

"Yeah I guess." Mike gave me an odd look almost like he wanted to say more.

"Charlie's waiting." Bella's voice barely above a whisper pulled my attention away from my thoughts of what was still on Newton's mind.

"Yeah, we're going to be late." I agreed. "Hey, thanks again for bringing Bella to work the other day." I said struggling still with keeping my composure.

"Oh I didn't," Mike replied.

Instantly Bella's body went rigid beside me. "What do you mean you didn't?" The tone of my voice deepened noticeably and my jaw locked from clenching it so tightly.

"Cullen brought her that day."

Mike told me matter of fact. The world stopped for me in that moment. I couldn't think. I couldn't speak. All I could see was Bella, my Bella, with Edward. Suddenly the illusion of my world had shattered. Oh – was the only word I was able to eek out and even that sounded more like a hiss than a true word.

Bella's ragged breathing filled the space between her and me. I could visibly see the quick rise and fall of her chest. If I had cared at that moment, I would have tried to calm her down before she hyperventilated but I didn't. All I did care about was holding myself together as to not phase right then and there.

"I should get this deposit to the bank before it closes." Mike's voice forced me to concentrate on my surroundings again. "See you on Monday." Mike called to Bella as I pulled her toward the door.

"Bye." She answered him so softly I wasn't even sure if he could have heard her. Yet I did and the fear in her tone was palpable.

Bella had barely gotten into my car before I slammed the door with a resounding thud. I watched her jump and then cross her arms tightly around her chest. She looked almost like she was trying to hold herself together.

Staring straight ahead I turned the key in the ignition and the engine roared to life. It sounded like I felt. I wanted to rip into a million and one pieces right now. If we didn't have to go to Charlie's I probably would have, but I closed my eyes and focused on what I needed to do right now and that was keep it together even when everything inside of me was screaming otherwise.

I took my time driving to Charlie's house allowing all that things that Mike Newton said about Cullen to sink in. How could I have been so stupid to think that _he_ wouldn't end up back at Forks High School – back where _he_ could have unlimited access to Bella? I chastised myself for being so foolish in thinking that the vamp stink that sometimes encircled Bella was merely from Alice Cullen. It had been_ him _all along!

My knuckles turned white as the grip I had on the steering wheel tightened to magnum force. If I hadn't been so angry I would have been shocked that I haven't damaged it. Bella fidgeted anxiously in the seat beside me. Good, I thought. She's scared and she damn well should be. Did she really think that she could pull one over on me – that I would never find out? Apparently so.

I hated feeling like I had been played. There I was believing that she and I might actually have a real shot and all that time she had been sneaking around with _him_ behind my back. I stifled a growl that begged for release from the back of my throat.

Charlie's house came into view and I knew I had to pull it together if only for just a little while. Somehow I had to squash everything I was feeling right now down as deep as it would go and get through this evening with Bella's father and my own.

Bella sat fixated in position as I came around to her side of the car. Again I was overcome by the sensation that she was looking for a way to run. There would be no running from me. I wasn't about to lose her and it didn't matter to me what I had to do to keep her.

"Get out!" I ordered pulling the door open. My instruction was met with stillness. "Let's go!" When there was still no movement from her, I reached in and roughly pulled her from the confines of the passenger seat. She winced when her knee hit the hard pavement tripping over her own feet. I didn't even bother to stop and see if she was okay.

**Bella's POV –**

The silence in Jacob's little VW Rabbit was deafening. I didn't dare look at him for fear of what I might see. Staring straight out the front window, I bit down hard on the inside of my mouth until the taste of my blood touched my tongue.

What the hell had just happened? Mike Newton blew my world apart – that's what happened. I fought back the tears filling my eyes as I swallowed hard in a half hearted attempt to keep from throwing up. Mike's remarks about Edward skidded through my head over and over again like a car unable to get traction on an icy road.

What was I supposed to do now? Anxiety radiated throughout every inch of my body. I heard the rapid beating of my heart echo in my ears and I struggled to control my breathing to no avail. I was seconds from a panic attack just as my childhood house came into view. I should have been relieved but oddly I wasn't. Still I was overpowered by terror.

Jacob's voice boomed when he opened the door. I heard him tell me to get out of the car yet I couldn't move. I might as well have been welded to the seat. My mind raced with ideas – ideas that I logically knew wouldn't work. I couldn't outrun Jacob, not even in his human form. I couldn't tell my father – he'd never believe me. I was stuck. I couldn't go forward or back.

"Let's go!"

Jacob yanked me to my feet. His hold on my arm made me wince yet the feeling was far too familiar. I tried to walk forward yet I tripped over my own two feet. My knee thudded against the asphalt. I bit my tongue so I wouldn't cry. The pain in my knee stopped me for a second; apparently that was too long for Jacob as he began firmly pushing me from behind careful to not allow his actions to be seen by anyone. I imagined to the casual observer it would have just looked as though he had his hand resting on the small of my back as we headed up the walk together.

"Not a word!" Jacob didn't need to say anymore. I understood exactly what he meant. I was trapped and I knew it. That feeling brought back memories of James and how sadistic he had been with me. Looking into Jacob's black eyes I saw such similar things as I had that day in the ballet studio. I tried to align the fact that for James I had just been a game, the ultimate prize but for Jacob, I was supposed to be someone he loved. "Pull it together!" he ordered.

"Dad, we're here," I called out as Jacob shoved me through the front door but at the sight of my father Jacob's arms immediately went out to catch me as if I had tripped and not been pushed.

"Bells." Charlie said Billy following close behind. He pulled me into a hug and if I hadn't been so preoccupied with my own thoughts I would have found his need for affection a little off. Charlie and I had never been much for public displays.

"What's this about you making dinner?" I did my best to sound normal but I still heard the quiver in my voice. I had a reputation for being a horrible liar but the stakes were too high now for me not to do my very best. "You never cook."

"He didn't tonight either," Billy chuckled from behind us. "You didn't think I wasn't going to tell did ya?" I saw Billy's huge grin when my father looked over his shoulder to glare at his friend.

"Thanks a lot!"

"What's going on?" I questioned. "Did you or didn't you make dinner?'

"That would be – didn't!" Billy laughed and I couldn't help but smile myself when I saw the look on Charlie's face.

"I ordered in," Charlie told me sheepishly.

"Thank God!" Billy chuckled again. "I told him I wasn't eating any dinner he cooked!"

"Good call," I agreed. It felt like I had been sucked into some alternate universe the way the three of us bantered back and forth. It was comforting but strange just the same.

"So, are we going to eat or what?" Jacob's harsh voice broke the light mood.

"Jacob Black!" Billy's tone was stern as he wheeled himself next to his son. "I taught you more manners than that!"

I turned and looked at Jacob waiting for him to answer his dad. "Sorry," he grumbled. "I just haven't eaten all day. I'm starved." I was amazed how even his voice sounded, how he seemed to suddenly be two people in one body.

We all sat around the small round table in an odd silence. I noticed how intently Charlie was staring at Jacob. I wondered if maybe he could feel the obvious tension that his friend's son was exuding. Also it was hard to miss his oddly sympathetic look when he would glance at me. I suddenly was extremely uncomfortable.

I fidgeted in my seat only half listening to the tall tales Billy and Charlie were telling us about their fishing trip that afternoon. Every once in a while I would lift my eyes slightly to look at Jacob. He was busy eating with great swiftness. I speculated that he was figuring the quicker we were done here the faster he could get me home that thought caused the bottom to drop out of my stomach.

"Bella, are you okay? You barely touched your dinner." Charlie's comment brought a slight smile to my face. Looking down at my plate it was still full. All I had really done was push the food around with my fork. "I could see this reaction if _I_ had done the cooking, but since I didn't…"

"I'm fine dad," I stopped him mid sentence. "I was just spacing out. Sorry." I tried to come up with some reason for my strange mood. "Dinner's great." I took a large bite in an effort to show him I was all right, even if I was anything but.

"So how's married life treating you?" Charlie directed his question to Jacob. I flinched. "Is it what you expected?"

"Pretty much." Jacob answered casually while his black eyes glared at me.

"I remember those first six months with Renee. Man was it an adjustment. Her things spread all over the place. Me getting tangled in her stocking hanging from the shower curtain and her make-up scattered all over the bathroom."

I looked at my dad with a puzzled look trying to figure out where he was going with this. "I don't wear stockings, dad." I countered.

"I know," he patted my hand lightly. "What I meant really was how hard it is to adjust to living with another person even if you love them. It takes time to figure it all out." If I could have gotten away with kicking Charlie under the table I would have. All I wanted was for him to stop with where ever he was trying to take this conversation.

"We've figured it out just fine," Jacob announced.

"Well, I guess." Charlie's spoke with skepticism in his tone. "It might actually be more difficult if you were home more, though"

My head shot up at Charlie's comment. What the hell was he doing? If wasn't like I wasn't in enough trouble already. I didn't need my dad stirring the pot.

"I've been busy."

"So I gathered." The bite to Charlie's voice sent a chill down my spine.

"Well, word has gotten around about Jacob's mechanical prowess so the garage has been booming," Billy spoke up. "Some of the customers won't take any mechanic but Jake."

I looked at Billy quizzically wondering if he was trying to defuse a situation that I wasn't aware of. I knew that Charlie was upset by the fact that Jacob was gone more than he was home. I wondered if that had been a topic of conversation on their fishing trip that afternoon. My father made no secret that he thought that Jacob was neglecting me. However I was thrilled to be alone. For me that was a far cry easier than playing my part was.

"And they come before his wife, why?" I watched Charlie's hard stare toggle between Billy and Jacob. "If he hadn't been _so_ busy maybe Bella wouldn't have been attacked."

I froze. "Dad, please." I nearly begged. "I thought we had moved passed that. Besides, I told you already that I don't remember what happened." Once more I repeated my well rehearsed lie.

"I might not need you to remember," he said matter of fact again his eyes fixated on Jacob's face.

"What?" Shock filled my voice while terror consumed my body. All I had wanted Charlie to do was to leave this all alone. Why couldn't he do that? I suddenly wanted to cry.

"We were finally able to interview the nurse that was on duty when you were brought into the ER. She gave us a pretty decent description of the 'anonymous' man responsible for getting you to the hospital. I was thinking that if you read it over it might jog your memory."

The entire time Charlie was speaking to me he never took his eyes off of Jacob.

**Jacob's POV –**

As much as I wanted to look away from Charlie I didn't dare. I held his stare with my own all the while the thoughts in my head raced as I tried to come up with something to say.

I sat quietly while Charlie continued pressing Bella for what she remembered. She looked uneasy as she searched for how to answer. He might have been talking to Bella but I felt every one of his remarks and questions was being fired in my direction.

What did Charlie really know? How much had he been able to find out from the hospital staff? What had he said to my dad? Was my own father now suspicious of me? I glanced across the table at Billy and couldn't really read his expression. My head was filled with question upon question as I tried to formulate reasonable explanations for whatever might happen next.

"For christ sake how many times does she have to tell you she doesn't remember what happened?" I spat my nerves getting the better of me. I felt as though I was being closed in on from all sides. Cullen thought he could move and take what belonged to me, Bella thought she could play me for a fool and mess with_ him_ behind my back and now Charlie was dangling what he thought in knew in front of us hoping that Bella might take the bait. "We didn't come here tonight so you could interrogate Bella! We were supposed to come and have a nice family dinner!"

Charlie raised his brow as if he was questioning my sudden protective nature. My jaw tightened and I took a few deep breaths before speaking again. "We're outta here!"

"Jacob!" My father's voice boomed but I didn't care. I had to get out of there. If I didn't LaPush's well guarded secret would have been no more.

I was careful to be gentle with Bella when I approached her. I had no idea what Charlie thought he knew yet I wanted to be sure that I didn't give him any ammunition. "Let's go," I said quietly reaching for Bella's hand. Her chocolate eyes were wide as she looked at me and then around the room. When she hesitated I scooped up her hand. "Thanks for dinner," I announced sarcastically. "Just have a squad car pick us up the next time you want to interrogate your daughter. You don't have to go to all of the trouble of dinner!"

**Bella's POV –**

If I could have dug in my heels and stopped Jacob from leading me away from my father I would have. I wanted to – I wanted to stay right where I was. As odd as it felt I wanted to throw myself into Charlie's arms, bury my face in his chest and ask for him to save me. But I didn't. Dutifully, I let Jacob spout off as I followed behind him.

I was already numb so the chill in the crisp night air didn't faze me. Jacob's silence frightened me more than if he had been ranting and raving. He was cool and calculating something I hadn't seen from him before. His normal reaction was to erupt and strike yet the quiet was just as unsettling.

The soundless ride back to LaPush was unnerving. Jacob hadn't even bothered to turn the radio on so all that filled the inside of the small passenger compartment was the sounds of our breathing both of which were fast and ragged.

When we reached our home, Jacob cut the engine and the brightness of the headlights disappeared surrounding us with darkness, I started to go to pieces. Once more I found myself sitting welded to my seat unable to move. This time Jacob didn't even bother to speak to me. Instead he darted around to my side of the car, flung open the door and forcibly pulled me from the seat. The darkness shielded his actions from the world as he drug me towards the door. If I thought kicking and screaming might have helped me I would have done it but in the back of my head I knew it would only make matters worse.

The inside of the cottage was as dark as the world beyond. I would have given anything for the darkness to have swallowed me whole. Jacob still hadn't spoken a single word yet the way his cold black eyes stared at me I didn't need him to say a thing. I already knew what he was thinking and what evitably was to come.

"What the hell did you tell Charlie!?!" Jacob's thundering voice bounced off the walls and I scrambled to get away from his arms as they reached for me. I wasn't quick enough and I found his strangle hold on my body as he slammed me against the wall.

"I didn't tell him a thing, I swear." I bit my lower lip in an effort to hold back my tears.

"LIKE HELL YOU DIDN'T!" The full weight of his body crushed me to where I wasn't able to catch my breath. "He knows and you're the only one who could have told him!"

"Jacob, I didn't. I swear to you I didn't say anything to anyone." My voice shook as I struggled to get out from underneath his grasp.

"You don't really expect me to believe that!" He scoffed at me through clenched teeth. "I don't believe anything that comes out of your lying mouth!" He spit just before pulling me away from the wall only to smash me into it again with such force he knocked the wind out of my.

"Jacob, please," I cried. "please, stop."

"If you're planning on beggin' I would think you'd want to beg for your leech! You don't think I forgot about what Newton said, did you?" His eyes hardened as he was nose to nose with me. I felt his hot breath against my cheek. "I'm going to enjoy killing _him_ and you're going to watch!"

My body stiffened. I couldn't wrap my mind around a world without Edward in it. I had tried before and I knew it wasn't possible. I couldn't stop thinking about how many of the Cullens would be taken down in defense of Edward. This was all my fault. I hadn't been able to protect any of them. I don't know if it was that that brought forth my surge of adrenaline but somehow I wiggled myself free from his grip.

My movement stunned Jacob momentarily but he recovered quickly yanking me back by arm with such momentum that it sent me crashing into the corner of sofa table. My ribs buckled under the force and I felt wave of pain rip through my side with each breath that I tried to take.

"Please," I gasped holding my side. "I didn't know Edward was coming back to school. I thought he was gone," I stuttered. "I was a shocked as anyone when he showed up at school." Tears blurred my vision as the throbbing radiating along my side.

A maniacal laugh spilled from Jacob's mouth just as he used all of his strength to lift my feet off the ground. There I was dangling in the air completely at his mercy. "I'm sorry…."

"YOU'RE SORRY!?" his irate voice stopped me from saying anything more. "You're sorry that you got caught that's all!"

Again I felt my back slam against the wall, it as if Jacob was trying to force through it. I closed my eyes concentrating on my labored breathing. Each one that I took caused more pain than the last. "LOOK AT ME!" he screamed shaking me some more.

When I opened my eyes the rage and fury that consumed Jacob terrified me. There wasn't a single shred visible of the boy who I once knew. "You've made this so easy now. It's going to be fun ripping your precious Edward to shreds." His sneer sent a shiver down my spine.

"Jacob, please."

"Don't you dare beg for _him_!"

"I'm not," I lied.

"Like hell you're not!" Jacob's voice raged again just before he tossed me over the couch like a rag doll.

**Sam's POV –**

I rounded the corner and the outskirts of LaPush came into view. Part of me understood the need to patrol the border with such vigor but after weeks of nothing happening it was getting a bit tiresome. I honestly didn't know how I would react if I was Jacob so I was doing my best to cut him as much slack as I could. The entire pack was.

We all knew how much he loved Bella. There were times when in wolf form his worship of her had made all of us a bit queasy. It was different than Emily and I though. For us it was something I couldn't deny or control, but for Jacob it wasn't as though he had imprinted with Bella. His love – desire for her was of his own free will. And I couldn't help but wonder if after Edward mystically reappeared that the love Jacob had for Bella wasn't now more of possessiveness.

I shook off those thoughts. Jacob was the Alpha and no matter what I might have thought about his relationship with his wife it was none of my business. I was to follow his orders nothing more and nothing less.

The thunderous shouting coming from inside of Jacob and Bella's house caught my attention. While I couldn't make out Jacob's words, I definitely knew it was him doing the screaming. My steps faltered as I warred with myself as to what to do. I could simply knock on the door under the pretense of offering my report on the latest patrol. I reasoned with myself that we all could lose our temper from time to time and what on behind closed doors in a married couple's home was no one's business but theirs besides the yelling suddenly quieted.

Glancing over my shoulder as I continued on my way home, I let my mind wander a bit to Jacob's behavior since his wedding. There was a most definitely undeniable change in his demeanor. He was quick to temper and while I knew he loved Bella so much there was a distinct strain between them.

Who could blame Jacob if he was stressed out? What guy wouldn't be if your future wife's ex-love showed up on the day of your wedding? Then there's just the simple adjusting to being married. I personally knew that wasn't all it was cracked up to be even under the best of circumstances which obviously with the Cullens back this wasn't.

I'd give them they space they needed to figure out what being married meant for them. Deep down I knew Jacob loved Bella and in the end it would all work out the way it was meant to.


	20. 19 The Warden and His Prisoner

Quiet Rage: _The Warden and His Prisoner_

**Jacob's POV –**

There I sat with my feet propped up on the coffee table the events of the previous day stewing in me. Night had ebbed into morning without my even noticing. My fury threatened to eat me alive. Staring at the closed door leading to the bedroom, I couldn't even recall when Bella had pulled herself across the floor to the room that we were supposed to be sharing as husband and wife. My hands clenched into tight fists at that thought.

I hadn't even bothered to check on her throughout the night. Her muffled cries were enough for me to know that she was still breathing. It was about time that Bella fully understood that I meant business when it came to my plans for_ him_! I didn't intend on being played for a fool more than once. I should have just gone and hunted him last night when she couldn't have done a single thing to stop me. But somehow that didn't quite appeal to me as much as having Bella know it was coming. I wanted her to watch. I wanted her to know that if she couldn't love me then she sure as hell wasn't going to get to love _him_.

How could she love him, I thought? He left her and I was the one there giving her what she needed. He broke her heart but she wanted him just the same. That notion brought forth seething rage and my blood boiled from within as that realization settled in my brain. She wanted him! A growl escaped my lips at the images Mike Newton's voice conjured up in my head. I could see Cullen roaming the halls of Forks High School searching out Bella. She'd smile at him in a way I could never get her to smile at me. She'd let him touch her when I was barely able to do the same. My jaw tightened anger spilling passed the flood gates struggling to contain the raging force.

She thought she could get away with stealing time with him – taking advantage of my absence – having him drive her to work – pretending nothing had changed for them. Everything had changed and I wasn't about to sit by and continually be duped.

A picture of Charlie and Bella across the room caught my attention. His very pointed questions bounced off the recesses of my brain. What exactly did he know? He couldn't know much if anything I reasoned, but the way he was pressing Bella gave me a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach – even now.

Looking back at my reaction to Charlie's questions, it was over the top. If I could have thought rationally it made sense that he was still investigating what happen to her – hell it was his daughter for heaven sake. However at the moment it was happening I felt like I was being closed in on from all sides. Not to mention I couldn't shake the feeling that Charlie knew more than he was saying especially the way he stared at me for the better part of last night.

There was a thud from behind the bedroom door. Finally I got up from the couch and headed across the room. As I opened the door I saw Bella struggling to stand.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" my voice boomed.

**Bella's POV –**

Holding my breath for as long as I could only held off the inevitable – the sheer pain returned the millisecond my body betrayed me by needing to breathe. I had spent the better part of the night in that push and pull between the stillness in my lungs and the agony that ripped at my ribs the minute I was forced to take a breath.

I thought that nothing could have hurt worse than when James crushed my leg beneath his heavy granite foot but the pain that tore at the sides of my body was excoriating. Many moments throughout the night I wanted to scream out in agony but I did my best to hold my tongue and only allow small muffled cries to pass over my lips.

Gently tugging at my shirt fingers trembling as I did my very best to not touch the afflicted area. I felt my eyes widen at the sight of the blackish purple bruises that covered my sides. No wonder I could barely move. There was no doubt in my mind that Jacob had broken more than a few of my ribs and what ones that hadn't been surely were severely bruised.

A single tear trickled down my cheek. The simple action of bending my elbow to wipe it away brought forth another wave of fierce pain that took what little breath I had away. I gritted my teeth through the pain determined to do whatever it took to get myself dressed and ready to leave. The last thing I could do was stay another minute in the same house with Jacob.

I tried to put out of my mind the horrific events of the past night but no matter if my eyes were wide open or squeezed shut I couldn't get away from the images that haunted me any more than I could escape the searing pain that wracked my body. Suddenly it was as though I was outside myself watching the events happening to some nameless-faceless person. Each frame ticked off in front of me like it was moving in slow motion.

There was this boy, or was he a man, with wild eyes dragging some helpless girl as she did what she could to struggle out of his encircling grasp. The frame went black and for a second I thought the movie was about to skip forward without depicting the violence that skirted just below the surface. No such luck. All of the sudden the scene was illuminated once more as the images of the boy and girl reappeared. The fearful expression that the young girl wore caused me to shiver and the thundering voice of the boy reverberated inside of me.

Repeatedly I witnessed the boy thrusting the terrified girl against the wall and found myself absently wondering how long it would be before she went through the hard plaster surface. And just when I thought it might be over, down came his body full force against hers. The cracking of her bones beneath him echoed and I watched her gasped for air then wince in agony. Her strangled cry for him to stop did a drum beat in my head so much so that I found myself softly whispering 'stop' as if my words had some power to put an end to what was happening in front of me.

Out of nowhere the petrified girl lurched forward momentarily wiggling out of his grip. I almost cheered fully believing that she had a chance at getting away. That wasn't about to happen. Out of nowhere came his arms pulling and reaching for her until her body was sailing into the corner of a sturdy piece of wooden furniture.

With arms wrapped protectively on her side, she pleaded her case to no avail. The boy before her could have cared less. His hauntingly crazed laugh easily covered her pleas and his furious ranting only ceased when effortlessly he tossed the girl's limp body over the back of the sofa. It was then that I focused on her face….my face! The fear that had gripped me during Jacob's violent attack was what now pushed me through the throbbing that clenched every part of my body.

Wildly my eyes darted around the room looking for my escape. I would climb out the window, not that I was sure I could even do such a thing in my current state, if I had to. For a moment I sat very still and listened to my surroundings – listening for any inkling that I could possibly be alone in the house. I turned my head my eyes resting on the digital clock that sat beside the bed. It was still early and I could only hope that Jacob was out patrolling with the others.

I did my best not to think about what their patrolling could mean. I wouldn't, couldn't allow my mind to contemplate what that might mean for the Cullens, for Edward. What if the worst had already happened? What if Jacob made good on his threats? What if Edward was nothing more than a pile of ashes? Saliva poured into my mouth at that thought as my stomach heaved. I could count the rise and fall of my chest as I allowed myself to truly process the idea of Edward no longer existing. Him leaving me for what he thought was my own good had nothing on this numbness.

Instantly I was filled with an urgency I couldn't explain. I had to get to school. I had to get to Edward. I had to see for myself that he was alive…well not really… but he still very much immortal in this mortal world. As much as I willed my body to comply with my head's request, the minute my feet hit the floor I felt myself tumble and crash into a heap doing what I could not to scream as it felt as though my mangled ribs were piercing my skin.

The door swung open thudding against the wall and Jacob's booming voice met my ears. "What the hell do you think you are doing?"

Turning my head I could see the rage that still danced in is dark eyes. No matter how much it hurt, I found myself scrambling to back as far away of him as my wounded body would allow. "Get up!" Jacob closed the gap between us in what seemed like two huge steps and yanked me from the floor and this time I wasn't able to stifle my anguished screams. "Shut up!" he yelled at me. I bit my lip almost instantly fearing what would happen if I didn't. "That's better. No need for tears now, Bells," he announced as his fingers roughly grazed my wet cheek. I tensed at his touch. "DON'T DO THAT!" he shouted. "Don't flinch when I touch you!"

If I could have I would have laughed at his remark. How else was I supposed to react? How could I not flinch when I knew full well what his _touch_ meant? "I'm sorry," I simply eked out knowing no other response would do.

"Don't be sorry just don't do it!" he growled. "You weren't really trying to leave were you?" I shook my head no. "Good, since you won't be leaving anytime soon." My body went rigid at his ominous comment.

The faint knocking coming from the front door thankfully drew Jacob's attention away from me. "Don't say a word," he instructed me threateningly as he headed to the living room.

Eyes darting around the room I feebly still considered my options for some sort of escape. But the conversation I overheard between Sam and Jacob made it perfectly clear that there wouldn't be many options for any such thing.

"I just wanted to check on you. It's not like you to missing the morning patrol." I heard Sam say.

"I was busy." Jacob answered curtly.

"You and Bella okay?"

"We're fine."

"Okay."

"Can you handle things for awhile?" I heard Jacob's question to Sam. "I mean patrolling and keeping an eye on _them_. It's time that Bella and had some alone time. We didn't even have a proper honeymoon."

I stiffened at those words, my heart pounded and my mind raced. The last thing I wanted was to be alone with Jacob.

"Yeah, sure man, whatever you need." Sam's voice sounded unsure to my ears or maybe that's just what I wanted to hear. I desperately wanted someone to rescue me – not just someone. I wanted Edward to rescue me. Tears clouded my eyes just thinking about him.

"So how was the patrol this morning?"

"Nothing new to report really. The doctor headed out early probably to the hospital and the others, the one that sees the future and the mind reader, just left a few minutes back. I am guessing they were on their way to the high school."

Sam's announcement made my nerves sing. Jacob hadn't gone after Edward as I had imagined. Edward was still well and in one piece. If I could have jumped for joy I would have.

"All smiles I see," Jacob's sneering face startled me. I was so lost in my elation surrounding Edward that I totally missed him returning to the room. "Just because I haven't killed _him_ yet, doesn't mean I won't. That's really up to you."

**Jacob's POV –**

I closed the door behind Sam only to realize that Bella had been listening to our entire conversation. So she knew that I hadn't done away with Edward in the middle of the night. Not exactly how I had planned for it to go but I could make that work for me.

"Someone looks happy. All smiles I see," I commented mockingly. "Just because _he's_ still alive doesn't mean _he_ has to stay that way." Immediately I watched Bella's expression fall stirring my anger all over again. Swiftly reaching for her arm I yanked her so that she was nose to nose with me feet dangling inches off the floor.

"I'm sorry, Jacob," she told me through ragged breaths.

Her eyes filled with tears and for a second I let myself believe those tears had everything to do with her guilt for disappointing me and nothing at all to do with her thoughts of Edward Cullen. That feeling though was short lived. "Don't be sorry," I spat. "Just know that if you are even considering trying to pull another fast one on me it will be my pleasure to rid the world of the likes of him – all of them!"

"Jacob, please."

"What did I tell you about begging for _him_? Don't do it!" A growl escaped past my lips. "If you expect your precious leech to remain in this world then you better do everything – I mean _**everything**_ I say from now on."

I watched her nod her head repeatedly. I squelched the bubbling anger that simmered in me. I wanted to be okay with getting what I wanted no matter the method yet it still picked at me that in getting what I wanted I had to let Edward Cullen exist.

**Bella's POV –**

I opened the bathroom door and found Jacob sitting on the bed waiting for me. It had been that way all day. No matter where I went he was right behind me. He wasn't short on his threats either. A few well placed words here and there reminded me that Edward's life depended on my ability to do as I was told. The near half bottle of aspirin I had swallowed earlier dulled the pain in my sides ever so slightly but not enough really to make getting around an easy task. Slowly I made my way back into the living room with Jacob at my heels. I wasn't exactly sure why he felt the need to follow me so closely. In my current condition it wasn't like I could really run from him.

Lowering my body against the back of the sofa, I gave up on finding some comfortable position. I doubted highly that comfort would be a word I used to describe anything about my life anytime soon. Jacob positioned himself in the chair across from me with his feet confidently propped on the table. In that spot I was forced to make eye contact with him continually. I half wondered if that was how he wanted it – wanted me to feel like I was under a microscope – his microscope.

I closed my eyes leaning my head back against the thick pillow. Part of me wanted to allow myself to be engulfed by slumber yet another part was afraid what would happen if I did just that. Even with my eyes closed I sensed Jacob's stare was still hard on me. It made me shiver. How had I ended up in this place – a place where I was afraid of Jacob Black – afraid of my friend?

The mantle clock that Emily and Sam had given us as a wedding present called out the time. It was half past two in the afternoon. How desperately I wanted to pick up the phone and call Edward. I needed to hear his voice but that wasn't an option for me. So instead I began humming softly the lullaby that Edward had written for me. A song that had he had used to lull me to sleep on more than one occasion.

An odd sense of calm came over me. If I hadn't known better I would have sworn that Jasper was somewhere close by working his magic. Yet that wasn't the case at all. The only person in the room with me was my warden. There was no denying that I was truly Jacob's prisoner. My injuries made sure of that.

Lifting my head my eyes locked with his and for a moment I couldn't recall what I ever found attractive about him in the first place. The easy going manner and infectious smile that once drew me to Jacob during my darkest hour was gone replaced with aggression and an ever present sneer.

I did my best to push thoughts of Edward out of my head. I didn't have a choice. To keep Edward safe, to keep every member of the Cullen family safe, I had to put my idea of leading a double life out of my head. I tried hard not to think about how different Edward and Jacob really were. Edward would have done anything and did to keep me safe. He would have moved heaven and earth for me. He once told me I was his life.

How foolish I had been to not see that I was none of those things to Jacob. I was a trophy to him. Some prize he had won and now wanted to proudly display. What the hell had I been thinking getting married – married to anyone other than Edward? That didn't matter now. I had done this and now I had to live with what that meant.

**Edward's POV –**

I glanced across the room to where Alice sat. She shrugged her shoulders in response. She hadn't been able to get a line on anything about Bella. I could tell by the furrow of her brow that she was trying her hardest to conjure up something, anything she could tell me.

My gut was tied in knots. The school day was nearing the end and while I hoped that Bella would miraculously show up with some silly story explaining her absence I was pretty sure that wasn't going to happen.

Again I was overwhelmed by a sense of unexplainable fear and fear wasn't an emotion that had been part of my existence for over a hundred years now – save for the time in the ballet studio when James had lured Bella there. And just like then, the fear I felt now wasn't for me but all about her.

The bell overhead rang signaling the end of the day. "Edward," Alice spoke suddenly standing beside my seat. "What can I do?"

It was easy for me to see that she was worried too. She loved Bella like a sister. "I wish I knew." Was the only thing I could say.


	21. 20 You Can't Always Get What You Want

Quiet Rage: _You Can't Always Get What You Want_

**Edward's POV –**

I descended the stairs all eyes on me. They all were trying to shield their thoughts from me but it was Alice's blaring _'I'm sorry'_ that I was unable to escape. I knew she was sorry but that didn't elevate how little that sorry actually helped at the moment. I averted my eyes from her not wanting my sister to feel any worse than I already knew she did.

It had been three days since Bella had been at school and I was literally climbing the walls. I was shocked that the bulk of my family hadn't taken to avoiding me – well all but Rosalie that is. She had basically been avoiding me since the family moved back to Forks in support of my decision to win Bella back. Rosalie made no bones about the fact that she despised Bella for no other reason than that Bella was human and she wasn't.

Out of all of us, Rosalie was the one that struggled the most that the life that she fully expected to live would never happen. She had Emmett and he loved her unconditionally even when the rest of us thought her irrational. I wouldn't ever get that; not without an action that went completely against my grain.

Jasper's hand on my shoulder pulled me back to the present. I was aware that he was trying his best to put off a calming aura and I was grateful for his efforts but unfortunately it wasn't working at all. "What can I do?"

"Nothing," I told him. Short of bringing Bella to school that day or better yet having her show up at our door, there wasn't much anyone of us could do. "Damn treaty," I hissed under my breath even though in a room full of vampires I might as well have screamed those words.

"Edward," Carlisle's tone had a vein of concern wrapped securely in authority. "I realize that you are worried about Bella…"

"Worried!?" I scoffed at such an insignificant term to describe the emotions coursing through me.

"But I am sure that there is a reasonable explanation for Bella's absence." Carlisle continued as if I hadn't interrupted him. "You know as well as I do she wouldn't want you putting yourself in danger."

Like I cared much about my own safety, I knew full well that a world without Bella was a world I wanted no part of. Too bad I realized that a little too late.

"Whatever you need," Jasper said to me. "Just name it."

All of the sudden I felt as though our roles were reversed and Jasper was able to read the thoughts running through my mind. It was like he knew I was seriously contemplating breaking the long standing treaty between our coven and the Quilutes.

"I can't ask you to do that." I replied answering my brother's unannounced remark. "This is my fight."

"None of this would be happening if it wasn't for me. I won't let you do this alone."

"Jasper?" Alice's expression told me that she understood exactly what Jasper and I were saying with our veiled discussion. I was sure that most of those in the room did if not by their own solemn faces but the thoughts that raced through all of their heads.

"Son," Carlisle pulled at my arm forcing me to face him. "You can't be thinking what you are thinking."

"What if I am?" I retorted.

"You don't know what you are saying. Do you understand what those actions would bring down on this family?" That was the first time in all the years since Carlisle had created me that I had heard anger in his velvet tone.

"What would make you think that he cares about us?" Rosalie's caustic voice shot from the foot of the stairs. "All that matters to Edward is his precious Bella. The rest of us be damned!"

I narrowed my eyes and stared at the creature that was once meant to be my mate, my own biting anger coming forth. "Nothing would make you happier Rosalie than for something to have happened to Bella. That way I could be as miserable as you are!"

"I'm not miserable, Edward. I'm realistic. Our kind and humans don't mix for a reason. Can't you see that by now? What else has to happen to this family for it to finally sink in? James wasn't enough for you now you want to bring the wrath of the werewolves down on us? Have you forgotten that Bella married him willingly? She said 'I do' to him, not **YOU**!"

"Rosalie, that's enough!" Carlisle put a stop to her incessant tirade.

"Not nearly!" she retorted never taking her liquid amber eyes off of me.

"Edward would never put us in danger!" Alice said coming to my defense.

"Yes he would and has. The minute he took leave of his senses and stopped that van from crushing her he's done nothing but continually put us in danger."

I stood there while Alice and Rosalie debated the facts of my life. How Alice saw them versus Rosalie's take on it all. It was a battle that neither was about to back down from until Jasper and Emmett stepped between their mates.

"Edward," Carlisle's voice forced me to tear my gaze from the pairs of lovers. "Please stop and think about what you are planning to do. As harsh as Rosalie's words were, she did speak the truth. Bella willingly married Jacob and stayed married to him even though you are here. I know you said you were willing to fight to win her back…"

"Bella loves Edward!" Alice said from across the room. "I don't care how cloudy being married to a werewolf makes my visions of her. I know that for certain. And if Edward wants to fight for her then I am behind whatever he deems necessary."

"You would be!" Rosalie just shook her head.

"Rosie." I turned and saw Emmett drape his arm over Rosalie's shoulder in a vain attempt at reining her in. "If it was you we were talking about -- I'd do whatever I had to to protect you."

"That's just it what does she need protection from? She's missed school for a few days that doesn't mean that suddenly the world came to an end. Oh yeah I forgot….it means Edward's has though." She scoffed at me.

"ENOUGH!" Esme's usually soft tone was suddenly a thundering shout. "This isn't helping anyone. We can't control who we fall in love with. Yes, Rosalie, vampires and humans aren't the normal pairing, but even you can see the joy that Bella's brought to Edward's life. Are you telling me you think he doesn't deserve the same happiness that you have found with Emmett, Alice with Jasper and I with Carlisle? Yes it's unconventional but that doesn't make it any less real."

I looked at for all intents and purposes the woman who was now like a mother to me and was stunned. I hadn't expected such an outburst from her. "I'm sorry," I said to her feeling as though I had somehow let her down.

"Don't be sorry for falling in love. But also don't let that love force you to do something you know has the potential for disaster." Esme leaned forward and kissed me softly on the cheek before leaving us – me really – with a great deal to think about.

"I'd like to speak with Edward alone," Carlisle announced. Slowly the room emptied leaving him and me alone in the center of it. "Son, I'm not trying to diminish your suspicions, fears even. I just want you to be smart about them. We haven't existed for all these years without thinking clearly and weighing all of our options. Storming LaPush isn't the smartest of those options."

I turned away from Carlisle unable to meet his knowing gaze. He was right and I knew it yet there I was again acting like an irrational human when in all honesty I had very little memory of ever being one. But when it came to Bella I always took leave of my senses. "I'm sorry," I finally answered. "I wasn't thinking clearly."

"It's understandable. I have to ask you though, what's brought on his sudden urgency that Bella's in danger? Has Alice been able to see something she hasn't shared with the rest of the family?"

"No she hasn't and that's the problem. I can't shake this strange feeling that I have in the pit of my stomach. It's been there ever since the day Jacob and Charlie showed up at the hospital – well maybe even before then. Was I the only one that sensed how much Bella didn't want you to call her family?" I couldn't bring myself to allow the word husband to roll off my tongue.

"I did think it was odd." Carlisle agreed with me. "In all honesty, I actually thought perhaps she was just attempting to prolong the time she got to spend with you."

"I thought that too yet there's still something not right. I just can't put my finger on it and Bella's not been forth coming with anything either." I sighed exasperated. "No, I can't blame her," I said to my father's unanswered question. "Why should she trust me? It's not like I have given her much reason to."

"I'm sorry, son."

"Why should you be sorry? I made my own mistakes and it wasn't like you and the others didn't try to stop me." My shoulders slumped and suddenly I felt incredibly defeated.

"What can I do to help?"

"Nothing. "

"I could speak with Charlie," he suggested. "Edward, Bella's not been admitted to the hospital this time. That's a good sign."

"It is," I agreed. "but that still doesn't erase the ill at ease feeling that I can't shake."

"Would you like me to contact Charlie?"

I contemplated that thought for a minute. If it was me approaching Charlie I could only begin to imagine the response I would get. However if Carlisle was to speak to him I might end up getting the answers to my questions. "If Bella isn't in school today, yes I would like it very much if you were to talk to Charlie."

"Thank you for taking a step back and thinking rationally."

I nodded my head all the while not feeling all that rational – especially when it came to Bella.

Alice rested her hand on mine as I stared out the side window my eyes trained on the entrance to the school parking lot. "I see her!" Alice said excitedly rapping her fingers against my arm. Just then I saw Bella's old red Chevy lumber up the small grade and I was consumed with an unexplainable sense of relief.

**Bella's POV –**

Looking in the mirror, I was thankful that Jacob had kept his assault in places on my body easily hidden. If the bruises had been on my face or arms I wouldn't have been able to figure out a way to get myself back to school.

"I don't like this!" Jacob's harsh voice startled me. I hadn't realized that he had returned so quickly from the morning patrol. It seemed like the time he spent away from the house was getting shorter and shorter and it was literally driving me insane.

"We've been over this," I told him calmly. "How much longer do you think you I can stay holed up in this house before someone starts to wonder about me?" Or come looking for me I thought to myself. I could have handled my father coming to LaPush in search of me but it was Edward who I was really worried about. I didn't want to imagine that he would break the long standing treaty between his family and Jacob's ancestors yet there was a part of me that wasn't so sure.

I sucked in a labored breath when I pulled my sweatshirt over my head. I wasn't really sure how I was going to make it through an entire school day but it certainly would be easier than being constantly followed around by Jacob.

"I don't think you should be driving."

I felt an odd sensation of déjà vu at his words. "I'll be fine. I need to get back to school."

"Don't you mean get back to _him_?"

"No."

"Just don't forget what I said Bells. I won't be made a fool of twice!" he growled at me. "Am I making myself clear?"

"Crystal." I confirmed. I knew what I had to do and no matter what how much it killed me I would make sure that Edward would never be in danger because of my poor choices.

"Just know that I can show up at anytime. Don't forget that!"

"How can I?" The minute the sarcastic tone left my tongue I regretted it.

Jacob yanked my hair. "I don't have to let you go anywhere!"

"I'm sorry," I squeaked.

"You better be."

"Hey Jake……" I was thankful to hear Quil's sweet voice coming from the living room. Yet I saw Jacob's eyes narrow infuriated that his once friend now subordinate dared to enter his house without permission. "We're going to be late. Enough with the love bird stuff the cars are piling up at the garage."

"I'll be right there," Jacob called through the door. "Remember what I said!"

"Jake, let's go!" Quil yelled again.

Once the door slammed I fell back against the wall tears falling from my eyes. The sobs that overtook me heaved my battered chest but I couldn't stop them I felt like I was coming unglued and knowing what I had to do when I reached school wasn't making it any easier.

I swallowed hard when a sharp pain ripped through my side as I turned the wheel of my old truck hard to navigate the tight bend into the school parking lot. All the regulars were there and instantly my eyes went to the spot in the lot where the Cullen cars were normally parked. Relief washed over me at the sight of Edward's silver Volvo. For a slit second I allowed myself the sheer joy of him being all right consume me. I would need that feeling for what I knew I had to do next. I had to break not just his heart but my own. I didn't have a choice. I absently wondered if this was how Edward felt on the day he told me he didn't want me anymore. It didn't matter though I had to do what I had to. I couldn't risk anything happening to Edward or anyone in his family – my almost family.

"Bella!" Edward's voice startled me. I looked up and there he was beautiful face nearly pressed against my driver's side window.

I sucked back the tears that instantaneously assaulted my eyes. _'you have to do this, you have to do this'_ I chanted to myself as I gingerly opened the door and removed my body from the front seat of my truck. Gritting my teeth I held back the moan on the tip of my tongue that slamming the door shut caused from within my body.

"You're all right!" Edward's granite arms encircled me tightly. For a moment I relished the feeling of having him close. No matter how much it hurt I breathed in deeply drinking in the scent that was uniquely Edward before I had to push him away forever.

"Of course I'm all right." I did the best I could to put a bite to my tone as I wiggled out of his firm hold again suppressing the moan that wanted escape. I needed him to believe every word that came out of my mouth.

"I was so worried. Where have you been?"

"With my husband, where else would I have been?" I nearly choked on the word husband and the anguished look in Edward's eyes ripped a two foot hole in my heart.

"Bella?"

Edward's tormented tone tugged at my heart strings. Today I was more than grateful that he wasn't able to read my mind. For once being odd came in handy. Still I averted my eyes from his intent stare knowing full well that my pained expression would give me away. I tried to think of the most biting words to use in pushing Edward away.

"Bella, look at me." Gently his icy fingers pulled at my chin. I clenched my jaw hoping that in that concentrated effort I could hold back my tears. "Love, what's going on?" His voice was velvety soft. Which made it all the more difficult to say what I needed to.

"Nothing," I shot back. "What's wrong with taking a little time away with my husband?" I again forced that word from my lips. "Because of you we never did get to have a real honeymoon." Edward dropped his hand from my face as though his skin had been seared by a red hot branding iron. "I guess I should be thanking you for leaving. It gave me the time I needed to realize you were right. I don't want to be a monster!"

The shock in Edward's topaz eyes at my remark was enough for me to know that I hit a nerve. Just like I knew I would. I was well aware of his loathing of himself for what he was no matter how well he had adjusted to the life that Carlisle had brought him into.

"Bella!" Alice's angry voice shocked me. I hadn't realized that she was now standing behind Edward and had been witness to our – well my conversation.

Thankfully the bell signaling the start of the school day sounded overhead. "I'm going to be late," I announced darting away from them as fast as my clumsy feet could carry me. In the safety of the girl's restroom I locked myself in a stall and bawled unable to erase the image of the sheer agony on Edward's face.

I took a deep breath trying to calm my sobs. Immediately I felt my ribs buckle under the pressure of that much needed breath. I bit my lower lip and with white knuckles held the metal door handle until the pain eased enough for me to move. Avoiding him and Alice wasn't going to be an easy task. I couldn't imagine that Edward would give up that easily so I needed to be prepared with more caustic remarks. I hated hurting him yet what other choice did I have? Maybe I could hurt him enough that he would leave again – for good and at least I could be relieved in knowing that Jacob wouldn't have a reason to hurt him.

My morning classes drug on as I did what I could to steer clear of the Cullen siblings. I made sure that I put myself in the middle of any and every group I could find so that neither Edward nor Alice could approach me. I am sure most of the people that I was suddenly talking to thought I was absolutely crazy but I didn't care.

I stood perched at the double doors leading to the cafeteria surveying the room hoping to find some place to camouflage myself. It was then that I saw Angela and Ben at the far corner of the room. I hurried across the tiled floor as quickly as my injured body would allow. "Hey this seat taken?" I asked them a little short of breath.

"Bella hey," Angela said almost surprised to see me. "How have you been? I was starting to think you bailed on me and the Econ project."

"I'm sorry," I began as I eased myself into the chair across from them. "I've been a little under the weather. I really should have called you."

"That's okay. So you feeling better?"

Inwardly I laughed. I was anything but better. "I'm on the mend." I told her just the same. "I have been doing a little research for our project though. Do you want to try to get together and compare notes?"

I tried not to look at the table where I knew Edward and Alice were seated yet I could feel their heavy stare on me. If I could just get through the rest of the day by keeping away from him rather than having to come up with more hurtful words it would be better for all concerned.

"Yeah, that sounds great." Angela's words forced me from my thoughts. "When did you have in mind? What's your work schedule like?"

"What about right after school?" I suggested. I wasn't looking forward to going home anytime soon. Jacob being tethered to me was the last thing I think my fragile psyche could handle.

"Sure. You want to just come over to my house then?"

"That'd be great."

Instantly relieved that I would get a little reprieve from being under a microscope, it was then though that I knew I needed to call Jacob and tell him what was going on. I wasn't sure if he would believe me or not but I couldn't take the chance that he'd take matters into his own hands when I didn't come home when he was expecting me.

"I should call Jacob and tell him he's on his own for dinner." I laughed even though there was nothing remotely funny about my life now.

I dialed his cell phone and it rang several times before clicking over to his voice mail. Inwardly I was thrilled that I didn't have to speak to him directly. It would make keeping up the façade that I was happily married much easier this way. "Hey Jake," I began. "I'm heading over to Angela's after school to finish up our Economics assignment. I shouldn't be too late. Maybe you could grab dinner with Sam and Emily. I love you." Just as those words left my lips my eyes locked with Edward's and all I wanted to do was cry.

**Alice's POV –**

My eyes darted between Bella and Edward trying my hardest to figure out what was going on between the two of them. The way I had heard her speaking to him this morning was so off for Bella that it had me suspicious. Yet when I tried to peer into her future all I saw was her thinking about her Economics project. If I hadn't known better I could have sworn Bella was purposely thinking of only that as a way to block me. Now even when I could see her future not clouded by her werewolf husband I still couldn't see a damn thing. I was beyond frustrated and let out a heavy sigh.

"What, what did you see?" Edward pressed me.

"Economics. More and more economics."

"What?"

"All Bella's concentrating on is her Econ project with Angela. What happened this morning between you two?" I asked him.

"It's pretty obvious she doesn't want to talk to me. She's managed to avoid me all morning and putting herself on the other side of the room now just confirms that don't you think?" Edward's tone was harsh but I didn't let that bother me.

"So what you are just going to give up? What happened to fighting for what you wanted? Isn't that why you decided to stay – to fight for Bella?"

"Yes," he whispered to me. "But that was before she finally came to her senses. She's finally done what I wanted her to do all along."

"What's that?" I questioned him.

"See me for the monster that I am."

My eyes widened unsure what to say next. I knew how much Edward thought of himself as a monster – a killer no matter how many years had passed since he had actually drunk from a human. "You don't believe that, do you?"

"How can't I? She told me in no uncertain terms that she's glad I left her. She's finally come to her senses and doesn't want to be a monster like me. I'm glad. She deserves better."

"And you think that's what she got by being with a werewolf? You can't be serious!" I was angry now.

"She made her choice."

"So suddenly you think that everything is fine? You don't think that anything is just a little off? What happened to that feeling you kept saying you couldn't shake?" I wasn't about to let him just walk away without the fight I knew he still had inside of him when it came to Bella.

"Alice," Edward's voice sounded like a strangled cry, "the only thing I have ever wanted for Bella was for her to be happy….."

"And seriously…you think she is happier with Jacob than she would be with you?" I cut him off.

"She must be."

"I'd take a better look brother." I pointed across the room to where Bella sat. It didn't take a genius to see the way their eyes locked that Bella was anything but happy.

**Bella's POV –**

The rest of the school day was spent with me evading Edward as much as I could. I was relieved when the final bell rang and I saw Angela waiting for me by my locker. "Hey," I said to her as I deposited most of my things in the skinny metal box. "You ready to bang out this project?"

"Yes. I'd like to get one more assignment off my plate and get on to the business of enjoying what's left of our senior year." I laughed along with Angela. I couldn't believe that in a few months I would be graduating. I caught sight of Edward lurking around the corner. I closed my eyes and pushed back all the thoughts of what could have been for us and concentrated on what was, not what I wanted.

"You sure you don't want to ride home with Ben? I can just meet you at your house." I offered.

"Nah, that's fine."

The ride from Forks High School to Angela's house was a quiet one. I wasn't sure what I should talk about and in all seriousness after the long school day it took all I had to just continue breathing as much pain as I was in. All I really wanted to do was curl up in a ball and go to sleep.

"Go ahead up to my room. I'll grab a couple sodas and snacks."

"Okay."

Surveying Angela's room it was a typical teenager's room – a few pieces of clothes scattered around the room, a pile of books on the corner of the desk, posters adorning the walls Suddenly looking around had me longing for my room at Charlie's.

"Here we go," Angela came up behind me cradling a bowl of chips in the crook of her arm and a can of diet soda in each hand.

"Thanks," I told her as I took the can she offered me. My stomach rolled at the sight of the overflowing chip bowl. No matter how hungry I was the thought of putting anything into my stomach brought about a wave of nausea. I hadn't eaten much if anything in the last few days constantly being on edge made the idea of eating hardly appealing. "So what do you want to get started with?" I turned around and started pulling out the various materials I had amassed for our Econ project.

"That can wait. We haven't had much time to just hang out in awhile. So tell me everything – is married life what you thought it would be?"

Pausing for a moment, I tried to come up with a feasible answer to that question. I certainly hadn't thought married life would include threats, beatings and being scared to death for my life. "It's an adjustment," I finally said.

"That's it?" I saw the expression on Angela's face and I was pretty sure that's not at all what she was hoping to hear. "Come on there has to be something juicy to tell."

Well I could go for the shock factor I thought and tell Angela that I married a werewolf all the while really in love with a vampire. A slight smile tugged at the corner of my mouth. If a year and a half ago someone would have told me I would be living in the middle of a real life horror movie I would have laughed at them but that's exactly what I was doing.

"What!" Angela pressed the second she saw my half smile.

"Nothing. I was just thinking about something funny Jacob said this morning." It amazed me how good I was getting at lying to cover up the hell my life truly was. "Let's just say being married isn't exactly what I expected it to be." I did my best not to sound ominous.

"So things aren't strange with Edward being back?" I was stunned by her question and not at all sure how to answer it. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked you that. It's none of my business really."

"No it's okay. Yeah, it's a little odd having Edward back. But it is what it is. He made his choices and I made mine."

"What if he's changed his mind?" Angela pressed and for a moment I almost wondered if she knew something she couldn't.

"I doubt it," I lied again. "He made himself pretty clear when he left. He didn't want me anymore."

"I'm sorry," she told me softly. "I just thought that the two of you had something special."

"Don't be sorry. I'm with Jacob and that's the way it has to be. How are things with you and Ben?" I questioned her in an effort to avert the subject from my love life – if it could even be called that. "What are you guys planning for after graduation?"

For the next hour I sat listening to the tales of a typical high school romance. It was fun to get lost in Angela's account of the ups and downs of her relationship with Ben. It was easy to see how much she cared about him, loved him even. I envied her a little. She and Ben had what I wanted, something that even when Edward and I were together, we hadn't been able to achieve – an uncomplicated romance.

"Holy cow, it's 7:30 already," Angela said looking at the digital clock on the corner of her nightstand.

"And look how much we have gotten done," I laughed holding up the blanket notebook page that had been sitting in front of us for the better part of the night.

"Do you have leave or do you think we might try getting some of this project done?"

I wasn't in a hurry to get home. In fact I was thoroughly enjoying my girls' night not wanting it to end anytime soon. I knew I was prolonging the inevitable but what was a few more hours. "No, I'm good. Jacob should be having dinner with Sam and Emily."

"Speaking of dinner, you want me to order us a pizza?"

"I'm fine really, but if you want something for yourself that's cool."

"Okay, I'll be right back and then we can get to work."

Over the next three hours Angela and I banged out one really stellar Economics project but by the time we had it completed I was exhausted and in a great deal of pain. The long day of playing that all was right with the world had taken its toll on me. I was ready to drop.

"So what do you think? 'A' material or what?" Angela waved our finished product before my eyes.

"Most definitely! Man it's going on eleven o'clock." I didn't want to even imagine what Jacob could possibly be thinking.

"You could just spend the night here if you want. I know LaPush isn't that far but with how late it is and you still look a little under the weather. You sure you're feeling okay?"

"Thanks for the offer, but I should really just head home." The minute I stood up a searing pain ricocheted through my ribs taking my breath away. I wasn't sure that I would be able to drive the whole way home.

"Bella?" Angela's tone was full of concern. "Are you sure you okay? You're as white as a ghost."

"I'm just really tired. Maybe you're right about not driving all the way home."

"I'll grab you a pair of my pajamas." She offered me as she reached towards her dresser drawer.

"I don't want to impose. I can just stay at my dad's tonight. Thanks though. It's been a while since I had a sleep over."

**Angela's POV –**

I tried not to eavesdrop on Bella's call to Jacob but it was a tough thing not to do considering she was only standing right outside the door to my room. I couldn't make out exactly what she was saying but from the tone of her voice and the swiftness of her words I couldn't help but feel that he wasn't too keen on the idea of her staying at her dad's house that night.

I guess I could kind of get that. Ben and I weren't married and we didn't like being apart really so it made sense that Jacob would be missing Bella. However, the gnawing feeling in the pit of my stomach was making me think things weren't all they were cracked up to be.

Bella tried to down play the whole Edward showing up in Forks again but I had seen with my own eyes how connected they were…that was until today. It wasn't hard to see that both of them still had feelings for the other. In fact that was crystal clear from the time Edward walked into the church interrupting Bella's wedding to Jacob.

"Hey," the soft sounds of Bella's cries brought me out into the hallway. "You okay?"

Quickly she wiped away her tears when she saw me. "I'm fine. Jake's just upset. He doesn't like being away from me."

"You want to see if my dad can drive you home? I mean that is if you don't feel up to driving yourself?" I wanted to do what I could to help.

"Thanks, but really I'm just going to stay with my dad. It's too late to ask your dad to go out of his way. I'll see you at school tomorrow though. Thanks for the girl talk."

"You bet." I stood and watched my friend's retreating form and couldn't shake the ominous feeling that all wasn't what it seemed with Bella, Edward and Jacob.

**Bella's POV –**

The faint glow coming from the living room window told me that either Charlie was up watching the sports replay channel or he was asleep sprawled out on the sofa. Either way relief washed over me. I was pretty sure I was going to pay for this little excursion but right now I didn't care.

The thought of crawling into the bed in my old room and actually getting a full night's sleep without fear of what Jacob might be doing or thinking was all that really mattered.

I closed the door softly behind me hoping that the sound of the latch hitting the strike plate wouldn't startle my dad. Tiptoeing through the living room, I saw Charlie asleep on sofa just as I thought he might be. I let out a half sigh and pulled the blanket at his feet up over his sleeping form.

"Bells?" his voice sounded groggy and he ran his hand over his eyes trying to adjust them to the image before him.

"Go back to sleep dad," I said.

"Are you okay?" He was slowly gaining his faculties.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I lied. "Just a late night of homework at Angela Webber's. I'm pretty beat so I thought I would just crash here tonight. That okay?"

"Sure, sure. The room's just how you left it."

"Thanks dad. See you in the morning."

Gingerly I climbed the stairs each step more painful than the last. Pushing open the door I was met with a sight that caused me to do a double take. "Edward!"


	22. 21 A Stolen Moment and Its Consquences

Quiet Rage: _A Stolen Moment and Its Consequences_

**Edward's POV –**

Bella's words and constant avoidance today played continually in my mind like some bad 'B' movie reel I couldn't stop. It was difficult to be in my room as so many memories assaulted me however I didn't want to be anywhere else. This was one of the last places that Bella and I had been together and as much as it pained me to relive those moments it was truly all I had left now.

My biggest fear had always been the further I brought her into my life the greater the chance would be she would see me for the monster that I was. Yet she never did, not until this afternoon. The recollection of her biting words tore at my stone heart. Hadn't that been what I always wanted though? I wanted her to come to her senses and run as fast and as far away from me and the dangers my life represented. So why now that she had done that did I feel even emptier than I had when I first left her crying for me in the forest?

"Edward!" Alice burst into my room. "I finally was able to see her!" She wore a joyous expression.

"What?"

"I saw Bella. I finally saw her."

"Is she okay?" I asked scrambling to my feet.

"Yes and no…."

"Which is it?" I hated when my sister talked in riddles, especially when it involved Bella.

"She's spending the night at Charlie's….."

"Charlie's?" I repeated my mind already racing.

"Yeah, she's not feeling too well and didn't want to drive the whole way out to LaPush……"

I didn't stand around to wait for the rest of Alice's explanation. I was out the door and running at vampire speed, thankful for the cover of night. I slowed considerably when I reached the edge of Forks and dropped to a walk when I neared the street where Chief Swan's house sat.

I could hear Bella's truck coming up the road and I easily scaled the tree and slipped into her room through the window as I had done so many times before. There was an odd sense of déjà vu but this time I wasn't sure if she would be as happy to see me as she had been the other times I had joined her in her bedroom.

Perched on the edge of the bed I listened to Charlie and Bella's conversation. I could hear her footsteps on the stairs and I prepared for her entrance.

"Hello Bella," I said as soon as the door swung open.

**Bella's POV –**

"EDWARD!"

The sight of his perfect form shocked me. I pressed my eyes shut and quickly opened them expecting the image before me to be gone but that wasn't the case. There he stood in his full glory.

"I can go if you want," he said to me

I knew I should have told him to leave. That would have been the right thing to do under the circumstances but I couldn't bring myself to say those words. I was suddenly awash with a sense of relief that I hadn't felt in – well I wasn't sure how long.

"I'll take your silence to mean that I should leave."

He turned away and in two large steps was perched on the window ledge ready to make his exit. I couldn't bear the thought of him leaving me again. "What are you doing here?" I asked him hoping to keep him there a bit longer.

"Alice saw you coming here. She said you weren't feeling well. I came to check on you."

"Why?" After the way I treated him I didn't think he would still care. At least I hoped he wouldn't. It would have made things simpler if he didn't.

"Because no matter what," he paused, "you are my life."

Those words sent a shiver down my spine and instantly I wanted to wrap my arms around his chiseled body. No matter what I had said that afternoon he still loved me, however, I couldn't let that cloud my judgment. I couldn't allow my resolve to soften. I had to keep pushing him away for both our own good.

"I don't believe you." I turned away and rummaged through my drawers doing anything so I didn't have to look at him. I was sure that if he was able to see my face he would know I was lying. "I'm pretty sure I haven't been your _life_ in quite some time," I said sarcasm in my tone.

"Bella, my love….."

"Don't!" I stopped him. "Don't act like you didn't rip my life to shreds. You took everything, Edward! You left me without one thing to hang onto. It really was like you never existed. I thought I was going crazy – like I imagined you, all of it! But it was only when I looked at this," I raised my arm and showed him the crescent shaped scar on my wrist where James had bit me, "that I knew it was all real!"

I saw Edward quickly look away and I could just imagine what was going through his mind. By bringing up James, I was hoping that Edward would go back to his resolve that I was better off without him. _Had I really just thought that?_ – I said to myself. How bizarre this had all become.

"What I felt – still feel for you Bella – is very real. I love you Bella Swan. I never meant to cause you such pain. I thought by taking away the reminders of me you would be able to move on with your life." Edward's words spilled passed his lips with a swiftness with which I had never heard him speak before. It remotely sounded like a normal high school boy's nervousness.

"What are you doing?" I asked him as he moved toward the corner of my room.

"I really wasn't as far as you thought," he said easily lifting a floorboard. "Here."

I took the box he offered me slowly lifting the lid. "This was here the whole time?" I questioned in total disbelief. He nodded. The lump in my throat grew to golf ball size as my fingers rustled through pictures, notes, the CD he made with my lullaby – everything that represented our time together.

"Maybe I secretly hoped you would eventually find it, that when you did you would remember our time together fondly."

I pulled the CD out of its case and popped it into the player that sat on my dresser. Instantly the sweet piano sounds filled the room. The tears fell from my eyes uncontrollably. "So you really never stopped loving me?" I asked between sobs.

"Never!" he confirmed. "It pained me to see how easily you took me at my word that day. I expected you to fight me harder. I was sure that you would see through my lies and when you didn't I didn't know what else to do but walk away like I said I was going to do."

"Oh Edward," I cried. "I wanted to chase you but it was like my feet had taken root right there in the forest. All I could do was fall to my knees and sob. I honestly don't remember how long I was in the woods. I wanted to die!"

"I'm so sorry!" When his arms reached for me I allowed my feverish body to melt into his icy one. And even though my ribs protested against the pressure of his embrace I let him to hold me tighter. The last thing I wanted was to break this moment. "I didn't know how bad things were for you." He kissed the top of my head. "When I heard Charlie's thoughts about what my leaving had done to you I wanted to destroy myself all over again."

"NO!" Pulling back my voice reverberated in the silent room. "Don't say that! I couldn't live in a world that you didn't exist in!"

Then what was I doing? I was putting us both in danger by letting this happen but I didn't have the strength to put an end to it.

"Nor I you." Edward agreed kissing me again softly. Resting my head against his marble chest I let out a heavy sigh. "Is everything all right?" he asked. "You're so pale."

"I'm just tired," I said even though that was a severe understatement. I was exhausted between fear and pain sleep and I weren't on the best of terms.

Edward took my hand and led me to the edge of my bed. "Sleep, my love."

"No, I don't want to waste a moment with you." That was the truth because I knew by the light of day no matter what was said in this room that night nothing in my life would change. I would still be married to Jacob, still fearing his threats and I would still be very much in love with Edward Cullen.

"I'm not going anywhere," he assured me. He pulled me down on his lap and for a second I held my breath until the wave of pain washed over me. "Sleep," he said again as he began humming my lullaby in my ear.

In the safety of Edward's arms sleep easily consumed me.

**Edward's POV –**

The pattern of Bella's breathing evened and I knew she was finally deep in sleep. I let out an unneeded breath and drank in her most delicious scent. I still wasn't sure what had brought about all the things she said to me earlier that afternoon but at the moment none of that mattered. With her nuzzled securely in my arms any thoughts of her believing me to be a monster had long since passed.

Moaning softly when she repositioned herself against me, I moved a lock of hair away from her beautiful face. She was so ghostly pale – paler than usual. I couldn't help but let my worry take over. Deep down I still couldn't shake the sensation that something wasn't right in Bella's life. And while we had made progress that evening, I was certain she still wasn't ready to trust me with everything just yet. Trust was something that we had to build again. I hadn't realized until tonight how broken I had really left her. By taking anything and everything that had represented me and my family I hadn't enabled her to forget but rather I had forced her to stay stuck. Deep down perhaps that's what I wanted all along – for her to not forget me.

For this moment though I decided to not second guess my intentions and just enjoy the time we had together. Kissing her cheek I settled in for the rest of the night memorizing every single detail of the one that I loved.

**Bella's POV –**

"Bella." Edward's velvet voice whispered in my ear and for a second I thought I was dreaming. "Bella, love, it's time to get up. I have to go. Charlie's on his way up to check on you."

Charlie? My mind was in a bit of a fog yet suddenly I remembered where I was. I was in my old room safe and sound in Edward's arms. All of last night's events flooded me. I felt Edward disentangling himself from me and instantly I missed his arctic embrace.

"I will see you soon, love." Kissing me quickly, he was out the window and gone as if he had never been there.

I wrapped my arms over my chest to stave off my tears.

"Bells, you awake?" Charlie's voice was tentative.

"Yeah, just getting ready," I announced hoping my little white lie would stop him from entering my room. I needed to get control of myself before I came face to face with my dad.

"Okay, I'll see you when you come down."

"Yeah."

Removing the tears from my lashes with my fingers, I hesitantly stood up hoping that today would be less painful than yesterday yet when I got to my feet I knew that wouldn't be true. Each breath I took still caused a ripple effect throughout my ribcage; even very shallow breaths didn't lessen the agony.

"You want some breakfast?" Charlie asked me when I walked into the kitchen. "I think there's still that cereal you like in the cupboard." He motioned toward the other side of the room.

"Juice is fine." I poured myself a glass thinking that in all the time I lived here Charlie was rarely home in the mornings before I would head off to school. The knot in the pit of my stomach tightened.

"I was surprised to see you here last night," he began.

"Well like I said Angela and I ended up working a lot longer on our Economics project and I just figured it would be easier if I stayed here. I was pretty beat."

"You let Jacob know where you'd be?" The tone of Charlie's question was off and I was trying my best to read his expression.

"Yeah I called him."

"How are things really between the two of you?" He took a sip of his coffee waiting for my reply.

"Fine, why?" I hoped my voice wasn't too shaky.

"I just was curious."

"We're great dad. You know I better head out. I don't want to be late for school."

"Bells," Charlie reached for my hand, "You know you can tell me anything, right?"

I pulled back again trying to read his expression. It was ominous almost like there was more he wanted to say but wanted some sort of conformation from me. "Yeah, I know. But there's nothing to tell. I really should be going."

I was thankful for the solitude of my truck. I couldn't shake the oddness of Charlie's words. Did he know more than I thought he did? Could he somehow have found out how and why I ended up in the hospital not so long ago? I doubted it. If he had I was pretty sure that he would have confronted Jacob by now and actually I was grateful he hadn't. I couldn't imagine Jacob's reaction. Part of me thought that he would remain cool, not wanting to give away his pack's secret but I had been witness to his violence first hand and I was starting to think that Jacob didn't care too much about appearances anymore.

Starting the truck and shifting into reverse sent a stabbing pain through my chest. I wanted to buckle over and cry yet I knew I couldn't. No matter what I had to put on my game face and get back out on the field. Today was going to be even more difficult than yesterday had been only for the sheer fact that I had spent the night in Edward's arms and finally truly believed that he never once stopped loving me. That revelation made it extremely difficult to face him that morning and push him away again. I honestly didn't know if I would be able to. Yet the sight of Jacob's VW Rabbit sitting in the Forks High School parking lot told me I didn't have a choice.

**Jacob's POV –**

As soon as the morning sun crested the horizon I was on my way to Forks. That night had been spent pacing the four corners of the cottage I shared with Bella. The anger that had filled me since getting Bella's call grew with each passing hour. There was little I could do about it at the time but now I was going to make sure she understood that this wasn't something that was going to be happening again. Bella had to understand that I was the one in control.

Why didn't she understand how much I loved her? I would have given her anything but that wasn't good enough – she still wanted _him_! I wasn't about to lose her to anyone but the idea of losing her to Cullen wasn't something that I could even fathom.

Before heading to Forks High School, I made my way passed Charlie's house much to my relief Bella's old red truck was parked in the gravel driveway. There was a part of me that hadn't expected to find her there. I almost parked and waited for her there but I still couldn't shake the feeling that Charlie's suspicions would get the better of me. It was best if I stuck to my original plan so I made my way to the high school and parked at the corner of the empty lot.

Tapping my foot anxiously, I watched as the lot began to fill without any sign of Bella. With each passing second I got more and more antsy my mind racing with too many ideas of what was taking her so long to arrive. Finally in the distance, I saw the lumbering old truck crest the hill. Before Bella was even out of the cab, I was making my way across the lot to where she was.

Before her name was out of my mouth, I was overcome by the sickening sweet vampire stench. The hairs over my entire body stood erect and instantly my muscles grew taught and began to quiver. She hadn't been at Charlie's after all. Her truck in his driveway had been just for show. She thought that she could fool me again! I felt my breathing steadily quicken as I tried to control the beast inside of me.

Closing the gap between Bella and I took all of two large steps. "Bella!" I growled through clenched teeth.

"Jacob," she said looking at me wearily.

The noise from the parking lot behind me fell away and all I could focus on was the smell that was literally making me sick to my stomach. "What have you done?" I shouted snatching her by the arm. Even the shrill sound of her cries didn't halt my assault. "How stupid you are!"

"Jacob," Bella cried as I twisted my fingers around her arm tighter. "Jacob, please," she begged.

"Beg all you want – this is over!" I heard the thunderous roar of my voice yet I couldn't rein it in. But it was the hushed murmurs of Bella's classmates that brought me back to reality. I dropped her arm and my eyes locked with Angela Webber and her boyfriend but at the moment I couldn't remember his name. Suddenly all eyes were on me and I realized how close I was to ruining it all. I leaned in closer to Bella before speaking. "Don't even think about not coming home this afternoon! There won't be anywhere you could I hide that I wouldn't find you!" I whispered with a snarl.

**Angela's POV –**

The blaring voice from across the parking lot drew my attention away from what Ben was telling me. It was then that I saw Bella and Jacob and from the looks of it he was more than just a little upset than she mentioned he was last about her unexpected sleep over in Forks.

A shudder ran down my spine when his black eyes locked with mine and the sick feeling in the pit of my stomach returned suddenly consumed by an odd sense of dread at what I was witnessing.

"Ang," Ben's voice forced me to focus. "I wonder what's up with that?" He pointed across the lot to where Jacob was now storming away from Bella.

"I'm not sure," I replied honestly but I didn't like it whatever it was.

"Looks to me like Bella's hubby has a hair trigger temper." Ben stated matter of fact.

That thought had crossed my mind as well and by the shell shocked expression Bella was now wearing as she leaned up against her truck I was beginning to wonder if what I witnessed might just be the tip of the iceberg.

**Bella's POV –**

If I could have avoided the world that day I would have. After Jacob's rather public display and his threat my nerves were beyond raw. The concern I saw in Angela's eyes as she watched our exchange from across the lot picked at me. How was I supposed to explain away what I knew people saw? More importantly did I want to? I didn't really but I knew I didn't have a choice. Jacob wasn't going to let it go. I had no doubt in my mind that he would make good on not only his threat against me but Edward as well. I could handle what Jacob might do to me – to protect Edward I would endure whatever I had to.

From across the cafeteria I saw Alice and Edward making their way to where I was sitting. My hands started to shake knowing what I had to do. I had to once again find a way to push him away. But how, how was I supposed to do that after we spent the night in each other's arms?

"Bella, love, are you alright?" Edward asked touching his icy hand to my face.

While I could no more read his mind than he could mine it was easy to see the worry in his clear topaz eyes. "I'm fine."

"You're still so pale," he remarked taking the seat beside me. "When was the last time you ate something?" he asked motioning to the still full lunch tray that sat in front of me.

"I'm not very hungry."

"That didn't really answer my question," he countered.

I saw him shoot a glance at Alice across the table and I knew they were talking about me silently. I did my best to not think a single thought about Jacob or what might possibly happen this afternoon when I was forced to go home and face him. I couldn't give Alice even an ounce of insight that she could feed to Edward.

"So how's working with Mike been going?" I jokingly asked in a vain attempt at changing the subject. All I wanted was to have an ordinary conversation – I wanted to get lost in one so that I could hold on to these simple things when I had nothing left but memories.

"How do you think?" Alice piped in before Edward had the chance. I couldn't help but smile along with her knowing that it had to be a sight – the two of them working together.

"My guess would be like oil and water – they just don't mix," I laughed but stopped short when my ribs protested at the quick movement.

"Bella?" The alarm in Edward's tone was evident. "What, what is it?"

"Nothing, let's just say that soccer isn't my forte." He eyed me quizzically. "I tripped over my own two feet and landed on my side the other day. It only hurts when I laugh."

"Perhaps you should have Carlisle check it out?"

"NO!" I know I spoke a little too quick and harshly but the last thing I needed was the complication of adding Carlisle to the mix. "I'm fine. I just have to remember not to laugh." By the look in Edward's eyes I was sure he was less than convinced but let it drop.

The bell overhead rang signaling the end of lunch bringing me one hour closer to the time I had to leave the safety of Forks and face what I was sure would be Jacob's wrath. I caught myself as my mind continued to wonder Alice's gaze was suddenly trained on me. "Hey," I began, "I've got to grab something out of my locker. I'll meet you in class" I said to her as I made a hasty exit hoping that the pain the consumed me wouldn't be too apparent.

I spent the rest of the afternoon avoiding Edward's rather pointed stares. Again I was happy he wasn't able to read my mind. As frustrated as I knew he was, it was better than him knowing what my life was really all about.

"Bella." I heard Edward's velvet voice just over my shoulder as I headed for my truck. The thought of going home made me sick to my stomach, yet I knew there wasn't another option for me. I fully believed that Jacob would come and find me just like he said he would.

I turned to face him, drinking in every feature of his perfectly chiseled face. The way his eyes danced when he smiled at me or how the corners of his mouth turned up slightly when he was trying to be coy. Without thought on my part, my fingers played with the few strands of his bronze hair that the wind had brushed against his cheek. His skin was so flawless and smooth, like honed marble. Before my head could stop myself, I pulled his hard lips against mine. I was sure I took him by surprise yet he didn't pull back or try to stop me as he normally would have. Perhaps did he know too that this was our last kiss? Eagerly I felt him respond to my advances and for that split second everything but he and I fell away. I let myself get completely and totally lost in Edward Cullen – the rest of the world be damned.

But as quickly as that passion overtook me that's how fast I made it came to an end. Pulling away, I hurriedly scrambled into my truck trying to hide the tears that threatened to spill passed my lashes. I didn't dare turn and look at him as I backed out of my space in the lot. I couldn't let him see me crying.

**Jacob's POV – **

I watched the hands tick off each minute on the clock as the time for Bella to arrive home drew near. My fury grew larger as the day wore on. I couldn't concentrate on anything but the fact

A muted growl escaped my throat as the muscles beneath my red brown skin twitched wanting to stretch and tear allowing the beast inside of me to burst forth. The sound of the tires on Bella's truck against the gravel put a halt to my need for release. I walked to the door and stood there so when she opened it there I was toe to toe with her.

"You scared me," she said jumping.

"You damn well better be scared!" I stated shoving her inside slamming the door hard behind her. "Aren't you ever going to learn? What's it going to take to make you understand that I'll always find out? You think by leaving your truck in Charlie's driveway I wouldn't figure out where you really were all night?" My booming voice echoed off the tiny cottage walls.

"I swear to you Jacob, I was at Charlie's. Call him. He'll even tell you I woke him when I came in."

"Like he wouldn't lie for you! I'd bet you didn't even go to Angela's house to study. You went straight to _HIM_! Didn't you!?!" She made a feeble attempt at backing away from me but I stopped her yanking her back to face me. "DIDN'T YOU!?!" I shouted.

"No, I swear I didn't go to Edward….."

"Don't you dare say that name in my house!"

"I'm sorry," she whimpered.

"You're going to be!" With that I slapped her with my open hand so hard that her body went sailing across the room her face ricocheting off the wooden arm of the chair.


	23. 22 Truth Revealed

Quiet Rage: _Truth Revealed_

**Edward's POV – **

The night spent with Bella had spoiled me and made the past evening seem more unending than they usually were for me. My mind conjured up images of holding Bella tightly in my arms. I loved the way her body melded effortlessly with mine, as if we truly had been made for one another. I had fought that realization for quite some time, not wanting to damn Bella to merely an existence but wanted her to have a true life.

It hadn't worked the way I had planned it and after my night with Bella I finally concretely understood Alice when she explained the future being malleable. If it had been controllable, it would have happened the way I envisioned it – Bella would have moved on and found happiness.

But none of that mattered anymore. Both of us knew that we didn't have a life without the other. There certainly were hurdles that needed to be addressed but I finally was ready to ask Bella to choose between Jacob and myself. At last I was able to feel secure in what Bella felt for me. She loved me and we would handle whatever came our way – TOGETHER.

My family was out hunting and the house was quiet. It was actually peaceful without Alice shadowing my every step. She had been hard on me to make my move and that had only intensified after I spent the night in Bella's room. It would be nice to get out of the house before any of them returned.

As I drove toward Forks High School, once more I was filled with all the anxiousness that a human would be feeling in the same situation. When it came to Bella I had to wonder if some part of me wasn't still remotely human. Gunning the engine of my Volvo, I sped through the quiet Forks streets allowing my nervousness to get the better of me.

There were few cars in the school lot when I arrived easily I guided my car into its usual spot and waited. Much to my dismay Alice arrived before Bella. I let out a heavy groan when she tapped lightly on the passenger window. "Yes?" I asked as the clear piece of glass disappeared between us.

"Esme was worried when they got back and you were gone."

"Esme, huh?"

"Yes," I heard the hesitation in her voice. "And I was too," she finally said aloud even though I had already read her thoughts.

"No need. I have everything under control."

"Really?" Alice eyed me wearily

"Yes." I heard her squeal with delight and I couldn't help but smile. "Glad to see you approve," I laughed.

"Here she comes." Alice pointed to other side of the parking lot. "Good luck. And tell her I love her too," she giggled and I just shook my head realizing that no matter how annoying Alice's gift could be at times she wouldn't be Alice without it.

"Alice," I heard Angela Webber call to my sister as she headed away from me.

I turned and watched the two girls chatting as they walked toward the building. If I hadn't been so interested in getting to Bella I just might have attempted to hear what they were talking about kind of a little good natured payback between Alice and me. We had been using our gifts against one another for some time now. It had turned into quite the game for us.

"Bella," I called as I made my way across the parking lot. She kept her back to me as though I hadn't even spoken her name. "Bella," I said again. "There's something I think we need to talk about." There was still no response from her. "Bella?" my tone was questioning as I placed my hand on her shoulder forcing her to turn and look at me.

Reluctantly she finally turned to face me and all thoughts of what I wanted to ask suddenly escaped me I couldn't see passed the huge purple bruise that covered the better part of her cheek. She winced when my fingers gently stroked the offending area.

"It looks a lot worse than it is," she told me turning her face from my line of sight.

"What happened?"

"Do you even have to ask? Or did you somehow forget I can trip while walking on a flat surface?" She tried to laugh but I could see that that motion pained her.

"So you're telling me that you tripped?"

"Yes." Immediately she averted her gaze from mine.

"Bella, love, what really happened?" That sick feeling in the pit of my stomach returned with vengeance.

"I told you. I tripped."

The way she turned away from me when she answered me spoke volumes. While I knew that pushing Bella on the issue wouldn't get me anywhere, I couldn't stop myself. The sight of that large purple bruise enraged me to the point that words flew from my lips before my logical self could stop them. "You're a horrible liar, Bella. Please, tell me what happened. How did you truly get that bruise?" I absently reached out to touch her once pale skin.

"I fell."

I clenched my hard jaw suppressing a sudden surge of anger that filled me. Why wasn't she telling me what was really going on? I thought we had gotten to the point where she could trust me again. "Damn it, Bella!" I cursed at her for the first time ever. Instantly remorse filled me yet that didn't stop the words from coming forth. "I don't believe you!"

"So you're calling me a liar?!" She pulled back and stared at me incredulously. "That's just great!"

"What else am I am supposed to think?" I shot back. "You can't even look at me when you talk to me. How can I not think you are lying to me?"

"I fell. I tripped. I'm an incredible klutz. What's not to believe?" The tone of her voice raised an octave and all of the sudden it was like she couldn't breathe.

"Bella? Bella, what is it? What's wrong?"

"I can't….." she gasped, "catch….my breath."

Instantly I reached to steady her as she struggled to stand. I felt completely helpless standing there watching her labor for each breath. "Bella, look at me, Bella," I nearly ordered her. "Try to relax." The tears that slid down her cheeks ripped my hardened heart to shreds. Wiping them away with my thumbs I reined in my own ragged breaths. "I'm going to make it okay. Everything is going to be okay. I promise."

Scooping her up in my arms I dashed back to my car running much faster than a human should have been able to but I didn't care. All I was able to concentrate on was Bella's shallow pained breathing.

"Carlisle!" I yelled as the automatic doors at the emergency entrance of the hospital swung open before me. "Dr. Cullen, where's Dr. Cullen?" I shouted to anyone who would answer me.

**Bella's POV –**

As Edward whisked me into the hospital ER, all I could think about was wishing that I had just stayed away that day. I had made several failed attempts at covering the hideous purple stain that covered my cheek with make-up that morning and I should have known that Edward wouldn't buy my lame excuse – even though in all fairness, he did know what a klutz I could be.

I guess it didn't really matter much now. Right now all I was thinking about was the fact that I couldn't catch my breath no matter how hard I tried. I did my best not to remember how I had gotten to this place in my life. I didn't think about how I fell in love with Edward Cullen – vampire; was stalked and hunted by James –vampire; was abandoned by Edward thinking that I would be safer without him as a part of my life; spent month upon month in the black hole created by Edward's leaving; married Jacob Black – werewolf; only to have Edward return professing his never ending love for me. A tear trickled down my cheek at that thought. Edward loved me and I loved him…..

"Bella," Edward's voice was full of concern when he saw my tears.

"I'm fine," I eked out.

"Where's Carlisle?" he asked angrily to the thin air that encircled us. "Is it any easier to breathe?"

"A little."

"Good. Just try to stay calm while I go look for Carlisle."

I reached for his arm pulling him back toward me. I didn't want him to leave me but I also suddenly feared sitting there alone. "Stay," was all I could say. He looked at me eyes full of distress yet he stayed by my side gently stroking my back in small concentric circles the way he did when he was trying to calm me after a nightmare about James.

I looked up and saw Carlisle quickly approaching us. "Edward, what seems to be the problem?" he began but stopped short when he saw me still trying to catch my breath. "Bella," Carlisle serene voice much like Edward's had a calming effect over me. Bending down he began speaking directly to me, ignoring Edward entirely. "What happened here?" he asked touching my cheek. "When did you start having trouble breathing?"

"Just a little while ago," Edward anxiously answered for me. "We were talking and all of the sudden she couldn't catch her breath. Help her!"

"Edward," Carlisle turned to his son. "I need to examine Bella further before I can do anything. Bella," he looked back at me. "What happened?"

"I tripped," I replied in a raspy tone.

"And the breathing, how long as it been difficult?" I tried not to wince when he gently touched my rib cage with his stethoscope.

"Not long," I answered.

"What about the other day at lunch when you were laughing? It hurt you then."

I wished Edward's memory was less vampire like and more human like it would have been easier for me.

"So you're breathing has been like this for a few days?" Carlisle raised his brow.

"No, just today," I tried to sound convincing but I wasn't having much luck.

"We need to get you into an exam room so that I can get a better look at you. Nurse Crowl," Carlisle said turning toward the nurses' station. "Could you get a wheelchair for Ms. Swan and take her into exam room two?"

"Yes, Dr. Cullen."

Edward gently lifted me into the awaiting wheelchair and laced his cold fingers through mine as the young nurse pushed me toward the exam room Carlisle instructed. "Let's get you up on table," the nurse said as she offered me her hand to help me stand.

"I'll help her," Edward said abruptly. Again I was cradled in his strong arms as he gingerly lifted me from my seated position to the table. The white paper covering its surface crinkled as if to protest my weight. I was thankful that it had been Edward that helped me. It was far less painful that way.

"Dr. Cullen should be in shortly," Nurse Crowl announced.

"Thank you," I returned with a ragged breath.

"What's taking my father so long?" Edward barked looking at the clock hanging above the doorway.

"Please calm down," I asked gently touching his smooth cheek. I instantly wished I hadn't lifted my arm as that simple motion caused my breathing to hitch in my throat.

"Bella?" Edward's silky voice raised an octave his features etched with worry. "What can I do?" he questioned me. I couldn't do more than shake my head fearing if I spoke my voice would crack and the tears would flow. "Damn it!" he cursed for the second time that day, "Where is Carlisle?"

"I'm right here, son."

"She can't breathe!" Edward growled.

"Bella," Carlisle once more ignored Edward's impatient demeanor. I wondered if he was just accustomed to anxious family members that their rude behavior didn't faze him anymore. "I know this is going to be difficult but I need you to take a few deep breaths for me."

I did my best to comply with Carlisle's request and didn't dare look in Edward's direction for fear my reaction would send him even more over the edge than he already was. I gritted my teeth as with each breath. "Good Bella. It's almost over," he assured me.

"Carlisle," Edward's strangled voice tore at me. It was such an odd sensation how connected we were to one another pain in one of us caused pain in the other.

"I don't have a choice, Edward. There's no other way for me to assess her condition." I almost thought I heard irritation in Carlisle's voice. I couldn't blame him. I had felt the same irritation myself when it came to Edward's incessant need to keep me from harm. "You did great Bella. I heard some strange rawls in your chest. I need to take some x-rays to get a better idea of what I'm dealing with. I'll have Nurse Crowl come back in and help you change into a hospital gown. Edward," Carlisle said motioning toward the door.

"I'm not leaving her!" he insisted.

"Edward, be reasonable. Give the girl some privacy. You can rejoin Bella as soon as the tests have been completed."

"Edward, please listen to Carlisle," I asked softly. "I'll be fine." I squeezed his hand hoping that he would somehow relax.

His eyes darted between me and Carlisle as though he was trying to decide if he could take a stand and make it stick or if this time his father would finally pull his doctor card. "I'll be right outside if you need me," he finally relented.

"I'll be fine."

As quickly as Carlisle and Edward exited the room Nurse Crowl entered. "Here we go," she said handing me the paper thin gown. "I'll be right here if you need assistance."

It was a struggle for me but I disrobed and slipped on the rather exposing article of clothing. I bit my tongue several times to suppress a cry that desperately wanted to escape my lips. I was sure that if I hadn't the young nurse would have descended on me. That was the last thing I needed or wanted.

After the films were taken I expected to be wheeled back to my exam room but instead there I sat in the x-ray cubicle. I wondered if Edward was ready to storm the room by now.

"Bella," Carlisle's voice startled me. "You are a very lucky girl. You were mere inches from having a punctured lung from the three broken ribs you have. And the ones that aren't broken are so severely bruised that I am amazed you can breathe at all. Bella, what happened? This isn't something that happens from a simple trip and fall."

I looked down at my feet unable to meet Carlisle's gaze. What was I supposed to say? How could I tell him the truth when I knew what saying it aloud would cost everyone?

"And this bruise on your face, you just missed fracturing your cheek bone. Again this isn't something that happens from a simple trip. Please Bella. What's been going on with you? You can't hide the bruises anymore. I've seen them – all of them. Please let me help you. What's happening to you? Who's hurting you?"

The tears pooled in my eyes as the burden of my secrets weighed heavy on me. I didn't know what to do or say. As Carlisle's amber eyes implored me to tell him I finally felt an overwhelming need to do just that. I wasn't sure that I could carry this secret any longer.

"You are family to me Bella and I protect my family."

"That's what I'm afraid of," I squeaked trying to hold back my tears.

"What, what are you afraid of?"

"Nothing," I said quickly my better judgment finally kicking in as images of what the pack under Jacob's orders could do to Carlisle and his family.

"Bella, please for Edward,"

"That's why I can't!" I felt the panic inside of me begin to grow and all of the sudden I was unable to breathe again.

Gently Carlisle took my hands in his and spoke soft soothing words allowing me to relax and my labored breaths to even out to the point where it was easier for me to breathe once more. I'm not sure how long Edward's father and I sat there in silence as I debated my options until I wasn't able to hold back any longer. Spilling from my lips came all of my secrets and all of Jacob's threats. Not once did Carlisle blink or say a word as I continued telling my story, eventually dissolving into tears.

Finally he spoke, "I will do whatever you need, Bella."

Sadly, I didn't know what that was. "Thank you," I whispered drying my tear stained face. "Oh man," I gasped as my eyes went to the clock overhead. "I'm going to be late for work."

"Going to work isn't such a good idea, Bella."

"I have to. You asked me what I needed. I need to keep up appearances. I have to do what and be where Jacob expects me to be….."

"You don't have to continue protecting us," the good doctor cut me off.

"Yes, I do. I couldn't live with myself if something happened to any of you because of my choices."

"Bella, do you realize how serious your condition is? Do you understand what will happen to you if one of those broken ribs punctures your lung?"

"Yes," I said solemnly. "I will be careful." If it hadn't hurt so much to laugh I would have done just that at Carlisle's weary expression – he knew my track record. "Well as careful as _I_ can be."

"Let me at least tape your ribs. That will give you some support. And I can give you some medication to make the pain more tolerable. This is going to be a long healing process Bella especially if you don't get the proper rest."

"I'll do my best, Dr. Cullen." He nodded and went about the business of taping my injured body.

When Carlisle and I finally exited out into the hallway where Edward was sitting, I could have sworn he looked like he was about to jump out of his skin. Instantly he was on his feet and at my side. "Well," he asked.

"Apparently when Bella fell she cracked two of her ribs," Carlisle said pairing down the true facts. Edward and Carlisle stared at one another rather intently and I almost wondered what things in his thoughts Carlisle was allowing Edward to see. Was it possible that at any instant Edward would know everything about what was truly going on in my life? "I gave her some medication for the pain and taped her ribs for support but there's nothing more that can be done. She just needs time to heal."

"Thank you Dr. Cullen," I said. "I really need to be going; my shift at the sporting goods store started ten minutes ago."

"You can't be serious?" Edward scoffed. "You have cracked ribs and you are thinking of going to work?"

"Mrs. Newton's counting on me," I countered unsure of what else to say.

"Bella, you're hurt. I would think that Mrs. Newton would certainly understand needing some time off."

"Edward," Carlisle stepped in suddenly, "Bella, understands the need for her to take it easy and she's promised me that she will do that." He turned and looked at me with a knowing glance. "She knows what's best for her."

"What?" The edge in Edward's voice border on fury an emotion that I had never once heard him express toward his father.

"I'll call you a cab," Carlisle said to me all the while Edward stared at him dumbfounded. "You can wait in the doctors' lounge until it arrives."

**Jacob's POV –**

Wiping my greasy hands on a nearby rag, I glanced at the clock hanging over my tool box. Bella should have been at work by now. If she knew what was good for her she would be, I thought. Yet I wasn't about to take any chances given my _wife's_, that word used to make me smile now brought bile to the back of my throat, recent antics.

"I'm outta here," I yelled across the garage to where Quil had his head under the hood of a Mazda 626.

"What?" He nearly crashed his skull on the hood's sharp metal corner not able to get out from under it quick enough. "What do you mean you're outta here? There's at least three hours work left and that's with the both of us working."

"I told Bella I would pick her up from work tonight," I lied. In truth Bella had no idea I was going to just pop in on her at Newton's store.

"You coming back then?" Quil asked me.

"I doubt it."

"Jake!" I could hear the irritation in his voice but didn't much care. I couldn't afford to be spending that much time away from Bella anymore. It was time I made her leash much shorter.

"I'll see you tomorrow." Turning around I grabbed my jacket and exited the garage before giving Quil the opportunity to say anything else.

Driving through the streets of Forks I grew more and more anxious. I didn't know what I would do if I didn't find Bella where she was supposed to be. A pang of guilt rumbled in the pit of my stomach at the memory of her useless attempt at hiding the rather large bruise I had left on her face the previous night. Again I hadn't meant to hurt her; I just couldn't let her think that she could continually get away with her secret rendezvous with _him_. I wasn't about to let that slide.

Cresting the hill the sight of Bella's faded red truck caught my eye. It was parked in its usual spot and I guided my own car next to it.

"Hey Newton," I nodded in the direction of the counter Mike was standing behind. "Bella around?"

"She's in the back logging some inventory into the computer for my mom."

"You mind?" I pointed to the doorway marked 'employees only' overhead.

I don't know if it was the sound of my voice that brought Bella out front or something else but there she stood before me. "Jacob?" the shock in her voice was evident. "What are you doing here? I thought you'd still be working."

"Can't a husband miss his wife?" I cooed sweetly. "I just needed to see you," I said my remark holding a dual meaning. Taking her by the hand I pulled her toward me for a rather ostentatious kiss merely for effect. "How's that bruise?" I asked my voice dripping with sweetness. "I was worried." I could have sworn Bella rolled her eyes at my comments.

"I'm fine," she answered as she tried to pull her hand from my grip however I wasn't letting her go in fact I wrapped my arm around her waist. Instantly my eyes met hers questions racing through my head.

"I don't want to keep you from your work," I said through clenched teeth. "I'll just sit with you for a while. That's okay right, Newton?" I threw the question back to the boy still behind the counter.

"Yeah, whatever," Mike answered me without barely looking up from the catalog in front of him.

In the safety of the backroom, I yanked at Bella's shirt revealing her nicely taped ribs. "What's this?" I tried to control my anger suddenly remembering where I was.

"Nothing, "she returned tugging the material of her shirt from my entangling fingers.

"Like hell it's nothing!" I held the growl at the back of my throat at bay. "Who'd you tell?"

"No one!" Bella's voice grew nervous as she shifted from foot to foot.

"You didn't just tape up your own ribs! WHO KNOWS?" By now I was having a difficult time containing the beast inside of me.

"I swear no one." Again she fidgeted in front of me.

"How far do you think you can push me?" I snarled crushing my fingers around her thin wrists.

"Ow," she cried.

"I think it's time."

"Time, time for what?" I heard her saying as I turned and began walking away. "Jacob," she called after me but I didn't bother to turn around.

**Bella's POV –**

The panic inside of me grew as I watched Jacob's retreating back. Carlisle now knew of Jacob's threats and I wondered if he would prepare his family the best he could while keeping my confidence. I had the utmost faith in Edward's father. He had a way of keeping all things in prospective – a way of knowing exactly what to do and when to do it. I closed my eyes and sent up a silent prayer that the same would be true in this situation.

Slowly I lowered my body into the hard wooden chair in front of the computer, yet work was the last thing on my mind. All my thoughts were centered on Jacob and Edward. I had had this same tug of war between head and heart more times than I could count. Each wanting what it wanted and both willing to do what was needed to make that happen.

But today – my head started to see the ways of my heart. It began to realize that no matter the risk a life without Edward wasn't a life at all. I had fooled myself into thinking that I could actually lead a dual life – one that kept Jacob placated and one that allowed me to have Edward. That had been irrational and unwise; we all deserved better. Jacob deserved a life with a woman who could love him the way he deserved to be. He deserved better than my half attempt at love.

I deserved better too. The half life that I thought I could live wasn't enough. I couldn't live without Edward. I had tried, made a valid attempt at being a good wife, but the only person whose wife I wanted to be was Edward Cullen's.

As fearful as I was to tell Jacob the truth, I knew I had to. I had to tell him that I loved Edward and wanted to be with him.

**Alice's POV –**

My head shot up. The image of Bella's future was clear as a bell for once. She had chosen. "Edward…Edward!" I went squealing through the hall. "Edward," I stormed his room. "She's decided! She's finally decided!"


	24. 23 Fantasy Meets Reality

Quiet Rage: _Fantasy Meets Reality_

**Edward's POV –**

I sat drumming my fingers against the top of the piano trying to wrap my mind around what had happened at the hospital. I knew that Carlisle was shielding a good part of his thoughts and not only did that frustrate me it frightened me as well. The image of Bella's inability to breathe plagued my mind. The panic stricken look on her face was all I could focus on.

Why had I let her go to work that afternoon? Why hadn't I tried harder to get the truth out of both her and my father? So now here I sat brooding and worrying. I was just about to get up and head into town when Alice came bursting into the room.

"EDWARD! EDWARD!" I heard Alice squealing. "She's made a decision! Bella's finally decided! She's chosen you!"

Instantly I slumped against the piano bench and allowed Alice's words to penetrate my thoughts. Bella had finally made her choice. Inwardly I was screaming yet outwardly I remained stoic.

"Well, don't just sit there! Aren't you going to say something – anything?" Alice was jumping around in front of me like a cat on a hot tin roof. "Did you hear me? Bella chose you!"

"Yes, I heard you."

My sister pulled back and gave me a rather odd look almost as though she thought she wasn't talking to the correct family member.

"And this is all the reaction that I get? I thought you'd be bouncing off the walls by now!"

"You are doing that enough for the both of us," I said with a snicker to which Alice instantly shoved me in the shoulder.

"Why are you still sitting here?" she asked me impatiently. "Go get her already!" Now Alice had taken to yanking my arms in an attempt to make me stand. It was a funny tug of war for two equally strong vampires. Finally she let out a heavy sigh in an offering of defeat. "You don't make any sense, Edward," Alice pouted.

I was amused watching Alice stew along with shocked at my own ability to conceal my emotions. Bella had chosen me. She wanted me. Every nerve in my stone body was electrified. Bella and I could finally be together the way we had been meant to be.

I had been given a second chance, a chance that I didn't think I deserved or that I would be afforded. Sliding my legs under the piano, I started playing the lullaby that I had written for Bella. The soft tinkling of the piano filled our large house and I was sure that the entire family understood that a corner had been turned in my relationship with Bella. Alice threw up her hands in the air and stomped away shaking her head as I continued smiling and playing.

**Bella's POV –**

I crossed over the border into LaPush gripping the large steering wheel tightly. I knew what I was about to do wasn't going to be easy yet I had to do it – for everyone involved. Looking around at all the small cottages similar to the one Jacob and I lived in, I imagined what my life could have been if Edward hadn't come back to Forks. And all the sudden I realized that it had been foolish of me to try to live a lie. It hadn't been fair to Jacob. By marrying him, especially after Edward returned, I had only given him a false sense security. If I was honest with myself I would have to say that most of what had happened since our marriage had been my fault.

Rounding the corner the sight of our home came into view. Embry and Quil were out front with Jacob horsing around the way I remembered the friends acting long before any of them had come to know what they truly were. The lump in my throat grew larger the smaller the gap between me and Jacob got. Fear gripped me as my truck came to a halt in its usual spot. The three of them stopped their horse play and looked up at me. Jacob's eyes all of the sudden were riveted on me. A chill ran down my spine and I almost put the truck in reverse and fled, but I couldn't. I had to tell him the truth. I owed Jacob at least that much.

"Hi guys," I said closing the driver's door behind me.

"Hey Bella," Embry said before Quil took the opportunity of my distraction to knock his friend to the ground.

"Bells." Quil waved as he kept Embry pinned against the dirt.

"You mind if I steal a few minutes alone with Jacob?" I wondered if my voice sounded as shaky to them as it did to me.

"You are his wife," Quil shrugged getting up and offering a hand to Embry. "See ya later Jake."

"Howl if you need anything," Embry offered as he traipsed after Quil.

Jacob crossed his arms over his chest and stared at me. Once more a shiver overtook me when his cold black eyes bore holes through me. "Can we go inside? We need to talk," I asked timidly.

"Damn straight we do!" he growled at me before yanking me by the wrist.

The sound of the slamming door caused me to jump and the interior of the cottage all of the sudden felt smaller than it actually was. If I hadn't known better I could have sworn the walls around us were closing in.

"Jacob," I began hesitantly. "I'm sorry."

"And what you think sorry is going to make it all better?" Jacob barked.

"No, but I am sorry, Jacob. I haven't been fair to either of us. I should have been honest with you from the beginning." I tried not to focus too much on Jacob's body language. I had seen the rigidness of his body many times before and could almost predict what was to come. "You know how much you mean to me Jacob." I struggled with my words knowing that no matter how I said what I was about to would hurt him tremendously. "I care about you in ways I can't even begin to explain, but…" I faltered for a second, "I don't love you – not the way you deserve to be loved," I added quickly watching his features fall and jaw clench. "I shouldn't have tried to console myself at your expense. That wasn't fair of me. I should have never married you Jacob, not when I knew that I would forever belong to Edward. You, we all, deserve better. There's someone out there Jacob, someone who can love you the way you deserve to be love – someone that will put you first. I have to leave……"

"And, what go to _HIM_!!" Jacob's thunderous voice reverberated off the walls.

"I love him," I softly confirmed.

**Jacob's POV –**

_I love him…I love him…I love him_ – Bella's final statement echoed in my ears as I felt myself coming unhinged. It had happened. I had lost her – to _**him**_! Tremors quaked inside of me as my rage blinded me. Taking a step forward I pinned Bella between me and the sofa. "Like hell you're leaving!" I snarled pulling her nose to nose with me.

"Jacob," she struggled to speak.

"Shut up!" I shouted. Edward Cullen's smug face popped into my head. He had won. I had lost! That thought infuriated me and as hard as I tried to control the beast within I was less than successful and before I was able to stop it from happening the creature burst forth.

Bella's screams intermixed with my own growls to the point that I couldn't distinguish one sound from the other yet something inside something snapped and I fazed backed as rapidly as I had changed. I watched Bella's blood drip methodically to the floor and felt the bile burn the back of my throat. "He CAN'T have you!" I yelled. "He left you! He doesn't love you!"

"He does," she eked out breathlessly. "You deserve so much more than I can give…." she gasped before finishing. "….you. I love you Jacob, but I am not in love with you," she cried.

"YES YOU ARE!!!!" I shouted shaking her violently!

"I'm sorry, Jacob," she whimpered.

It was the look in her eyes that forced me to understand that I had truly lost her, if I had really ever had her in the first place. She was going to love him forever just like she had once told me. That thought alone maddened me. All of the sudden the little control I wielded over myself was lost and I started fazing in and out wildly.

**Alice's POV –**

As quickly as my images of Bella had appeared they disappeared. There I sat in the middle of the living room all of the sudden blind once more when it came to the love of Edward's life. Closing my eyes, I did my best to concentrate all of my effort on finding and focusing on Bella yet all I could come up with was a series of disjointed images much like the day Bella ended up in the hospital. Panic overtook me realizing that even though I couldn't see it I knew something horrible was happening.

In the background the soft sounds of the piano still filtered through the house. _'oh Edward,'_ I thought. Quickly jumping to my feet I was on the hunt for Jasper. I needed his calming nature and his insight. "Jasper, Jasper," I called making my way through the house. "Jazz!"

"Alice?" Jasper's concerned eyes met my face as we met rounding the corner.

"Jazz, it's Bella……" He interrupted me before I was able to finish.

"I know, we all know. It was hard to miss your pronouncement earlier. She's finally decided. Everyone is thrilled, all but Rosalie of course."

"No…no! Something's wrong Jasper. Something is terribly wrong."

"What?" Jasper reached for my hands and we both lowered ourselves to the padded bench in the middle of the hall.

"I can't see her anymore. All I am getting are those haphazard flashes like before," I heard the tone of my voice raise an octave as my panic consumed me. "What if Angela was right?"

"Alice?" Jasper eyes questioned me and I knew he didn't understand what I was saying.

"Angela Webber, she stopped me today. She was worried about Bella and Jacob. She thinks that something isn't right between them."

"Not right?"

"Angela said she and Ben," Jasper pulled back unsure of whom I was talking about. "Her boyfriend," I said trying to cover my irritation with him.

"Oh."

"She said they saw Jacob sort of manhandling her. She said it looked like he was hurting her. What if he was? What if why I can't see Bella isn't just all about Jacob being a werewolf and more about what he's doing to her? What if he's the one that hurt her the first time she ended up in the hospital?" I speculated completely unsure what to do next.

**Edward's POV –**

_'what if he's the one that hurt her the first time she ended up in the hospital?'_

That one sentence reverberated in my head. The idea of anyone harming Bella caused a ferocious reaction within me. And Angela Webber – why hadn't I been more in tune with her thoughts? How had I missed her thinking such things about Bella? I chastised myself for how human I had allowed myself to become. It was that humanity that had permitted Bella to be hurt – hurt by Jacob! I felt my rigid body quiver with fury.

I could have gone to Alice right then and pushed her for more but I was certain that what I had overheard was really all that she knew. It was Carlisle that had been avoiding me and suppressing his thoughts anytime that he was near enough for me to invade the depths of his mind.

"Carlisle…Carlisle!" I shouted throughout the halls.

"Edward?" Esme exited from her room giving me a questioning look.

"Where's Carlisle?"

"He's out hunting. Why? Is there something that I can do?" she asked in the motherly way she had about her.

"Not unless you can tell me what Carlisle knows about what Jacob's done to Bella!" I hated that my tone was so harsh but the anger that coursed through me made it difficult for me to control my tongue.

"What Jacob's done to Bella?" Esme echoed my words.

I knew that I wouldn't be able to speak to Esme with a tone that she deserved so I turned and left her staring at my back. It didn't take me long to located Carlisle. As I bounded down the front stairs I ran head long into him. "How could you not have told me?!" I accused him.

"Edward?" Carlisle looked at me quizzically.

"Don't! Don't try to pretend you don't know more than you are telling me. And don't think that I don't know that you've been hiding your thoughts from me. Tell me! What's Jacob done to Bella?"

"Son, you need to get hold of yourself."

I felt the gentle pressure of his hand on my shoulder but the anger that coursed in my icy veins caused me to throw it off abruptly. "TELL ME!" I hissed. "TELL ME!" I yelled again even angrier that the man before me was still trying to hide what he knew from me.

"Bella's my patient. I have to respect her wishes."

I felt my eyes widen as I stood there staring at him disbelief filling me. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. "I don't care about doctor/patient privilege!" I spat. "I swear to you Carlisle, if Jacob's responsible for hurting Bella in any way – I will kill him!" A growl radiated from the back of my throat.

"That's what she's afraid of."

"So it's true?" My voice was raspy as the reality of what Carlisle's few words confirmed for me. "The concussion; the cracked ribs; bruised cheek – Jacob's responsible for all of it!?!" Images of my ripping Jacob Black to shreds danced through my head.

"Yes," Carlisle nodded slightly.

"And you just let her go today?" I wasn't able to wrap my mind around that thought. "What were you thinking?"

"I was following Bella's wishes."

"Wishes!" I yelled. "So you expect me to believe that she wants to be a human punching bag?"

"Son, it's not that simple."

Again I felt his hand rest on my shoulder. "Yes it is!" I countered.

Just as I was about to turn and storm away Carlisle pulled me back and began relaying what Bella had told him hours before. I tried to read between the lines of his thoughts to make sure that he wasn't trying to hold anything back from me. My stomach tightened when I fully understood how much Bella had withstood all in the name of protecting me and my family. My body shuddered and shook as I did what I could to contain the wrath that was suddenly all consuming. Jacob had used her love for us all to hold her captive. He had drawn on her fear to force her hand and when she didn't submit he beat her for it – treated her worse than most humans would have a disobedient dog.

I should have followed my instincts weeks ago. I should have stormed LaPush the second the thought entered my head. I couldn't allow Bella to spend one more second anywhere near where Jacob could hurt her.

"EDWARD!!!!" I heard the faint sound of Carlisle's voice but I was already too far gone to care.


	25. 24 Treaty Be Damned

Quiet Rage:_ Treaty Be Damned_

**Carlisle's POV –**

There I stood frozen the sound of my own voice calling Edward's name reverberating in my head. He was gone. Not that I had expected any different. Edward was the fastest of us all and when he set his mind to something there was no stopping him. Resting my hands on my hips, I contemplated my next move yet before I was able to even begin to think the frenzied voices of my family that came from behind me.

"Carlisle?" Esme was the first to speak. All I could do was embrace her tightly, unsure of how or what to say to her – to any of them.

"Alice was right wasn't she?" Jasper asked.

"Alice?" I questioned turning to stare at my pixie of a daughter. "What did she see?" I turned back toward Jasper as I spoke.

"Jacob." Was all he said.

I hung my head and let out a rather heavy, yet unnecessary sigh. "Yes." I saw Jasper reach for Alice instantly when she let out an anguished gasp.

"Carlisle?" Esme's questioning eyes probed me for answers.

"What's going on?" Emmett's rough voice broke my momentary silence. "What was Edward shouting about?"

"Do you even have to ask?" Rosalie spouted with a snarky tone. "Bella of course." She rolled her eyes in a way only Rosalie could do. "What does his poor Bella have a hang nail?" she scoffed.

"Rosalie, stop!" I turned speaking to her with a stern voice. "That's enough. This isn't something to joke about. Jacob's been beating Bella and using our family as the leverage to do it." I hated the way I had to say it so matter of fact but there was no way to sugar coat something so horrific. Those around me suddenly fell silent.

I gauged the reaction of my family and wondering who if not all of them would follow Edward's lead and storm LaPush. It was Rosalie's wide eyed stare that worried me the most. I couldn't help wondering where her memory had taken her.

"What are you talking about, Carlisle?" Esme's soft voice pulled me back to the task at hand – explaining what Jacob had done to the girl who captured not only Edward's heart but the family's as well. "Where's Edward?" I could hear the panic in her tone as she asked me a question I was sure she already knew the answer for.

Taking my love's hand, I began at the beginning and for the next several minutes, which seemed more like hours, told those standing before me the recent events in Bella's life. I stressed how much Bella's love for Edward, for all of us, had carried her through. I tried to make them all understand just how difficult it had been for her. The secrets she carried weighed heavy on her until they finally broke her.

After I finished I pulled back watching the reaction of them all. It wasn't difficult to see what Emmett and Jasper wanted to do. The rigidness of their bodies and tightly fisted hands spoke volumes to me and I knew that like Edward they wanted to rip Jacob Black limb from limb. I wanted to do that as well. Glancing sideways at Esme, I could never imagine laying a hand on her, any woman for that matter. For that thought alone Jacob deserved to be horse whipped. However the logical side of me that always found a way to prevail knew that starting a war wouldn't serve anyone – least of all Bella. Whose greatest fear had been that something would happen to us because of her.

I felt Jasper's wave of calm waft over us as he did what he could to keep us under control. I could tell it was tough for him since he what he truly wanted to do was at war with what he knew he had to do.

"She's wanted to be with Edward all this time?" Emse asked no one in particular.

I answered her just the same. "Yes."

"She's allowed herself to be verbally and physically abused all in the name of keeping us safe?" she continued.

"Yes."

"Oh my," Esme gasped. Pulling her into my arms I allowed her to bury her face I my shoulder. "I said and thought such horrible things," she cried.

"You didn't know." I patted her softly. "None of us knew."

"I should have!" Alice said in angry voice. "What's wrong with me? Why didn't I try harder? What good is this _gift_," she stressed the word sarcastically, "if it doesn't allow me to see those most important to me?"

"Alice," My newest son, and Alice's love spoke softly, "you did try. You did everything in your power to see what was happening."

"It wasn't enough! I should have never stood in your and Edward's way weeks ago when you both wanted to storm LaPush. Maybe you could have stopped this….."

"Or made it worse," I interjected.

Alice turned her head with a swift fluid motion and narrowed her milky amber eyes at me. "What's worse than Bella getting beaten?" she shouted.

"Bella losing those that she loves." I countered. "That's what she feared the most. Jacob used her love for all us as his greatest weapon. What would she have left if one of us was lost and she felt it was all because of her?"

"Like that would ever happen!" Emmett's booming voice sliced through the silence my statement had left. "Those wolves won't know what hit them!" Emmett growled. "To hell with this treaty – Jacob Black is going DOWN! You with me?" I saw Emmett turn and look in Jasper's direction.

"Of course!"

**Rosalie's POV –**

I heard the voices of those around me. It was Emmett's thundering voice stood out above them all. He was egging Jasper on, saying things like _'to hell with the treaty'_ and _'Jacob Black is going down'_.

My eyes darted been all the members of my family. Each one of them looked as shell shocked as I felt. There certainly was no love lost between Bella Swan and myself yet hearing the hell she had endured at the hands of someone supposing to love her struck a nerve deep within me.

The years had faded most of my human memories however that night in the alley was one that was still vivid – as if it had happened just yesterday. My body shivered involuntarily as the images of the man who was to be my husband and his friends surrounded me doing unspeakable things to me all while I was kicking and screaming beneath them only to leave me for dead. Absently, I wondered if Jacob had assaulted Bella in the way I had been. Had he stripped her of her dignity and left her feeling dirty and full of shame?

To think that I had been envious of Bella's humanity -- I had hated her for it. I would have given anything to have had her life. But now seeing how similar our existences truly were I would have cried if I could.

This mere mortal had allowed herself to be beaten, threatened, and abused in some vain attempt at keeping the likes of me safe. That was a thought I couldn't wrap my head around. I hadn't been so selfless when it came to protecting her from James. In fact if it hadn't been for Carlisle I wouldn't have helped even the little I had.

I thought about Jacob Black and a growl resonated from the back of my throat. I was filled with so much anger and rage not only at him but at the men who had assaulted and beat me. I still didn't like the idea of a human knowing our secret – being part of our life – but I was damned sure I couldn't stand idly by and let her be attacked for it.

**Edward's POV –**

The leaves and the branches were a blur as I ran at warp speed through the forest. As the surroundings whizzed by it still seemed as though I was in slow motion. I couldn't get to Bella fast enough.

I replayed Carlisle's recount of what had happened to Bella repeatedly in my mind. His voice was on some odd continuous loop in my head. The guilt over how all of my actions had led up to this was crushing. All of this had happened because of me – because I had been too weak to stay away from Bella in the very beginning. Why hadn't I just stayed in Denali that first time I ran away? Why had I come back at all? There would have never been any danger; no James; no fateful birthday party; no need for me to break her heart; no marriage to a werewolf – Bella would be safe and getting ready to graduate from high school. But NO – she was still very much in danger and it was me who once again put her smack in the middle of it.

It was oddly quiet in the forest. I wondered if sooner rather than later I would be hearing the blaring thoughts of my family as they came rushing after me. Would they dare try to stop me? Would they understand and support my decision? Did I risk hoping that they might even offer to help? None of that mattered though. I knew what I had to do and as LaPush came into view I didn't care if I died trying.

It was odd to me how peaceful the Quileute reservation looked as I approached it. It was hard to imagine the horrific things Carlisle spoke of happening to Bella took place in this quiet cottage lined village. But it was my thundering voice that broke the silence. "BELLA! BELLA!" I screamed. I had no idea where to even begin my search for her but I had to believe with all of my shouting it wouldn't take very long. "BELLA – BELLA, love where are you?" I bellowed.

From around the corner out stepped Sam Uley, his black eyes wide I'm sure at the sight of me. "What the hell are you doing here?" he barked.

"Where's Bella?" I countered with the same anger filled voice.

"Haven't you done enough damage already?" he questioned.

"Where's Bella!?" I felt my body begin to shake as my sudden stillness didn't allow escape for my pent up energy.

"Do you have a death wish Cullen? You're on Quileute lands."

"I don't care! Where's Bella? What's Jacob done with her?"

"What?" I think my question took Sam by surprise as he stared back at my somewhat in shock.

"Don't think that I won't find her!" My attempt to move by Sam was put to a stop as more of the pack joined the rank and file.

"Like hell you will!" A broad shouldered bronzed skinned male aligned himself with Sam.

"What are we waiting for?" another shouted. "He's on our land. He's broken the treaty!"

"I don't give a damn about your treaty! All I care about is Bella and getting her the hell away from Jacob!"

"You had your chance leech!" The young boy yelling at me I knew to be Embry, one of Jacob's lifelong friends.

"You broke her," Sam announced. "You have no idea what a mess she was that day I found her in the forest!"

Sam's words struck a nerve with me. I could tell by his thoughts that was exactly his intention. He wanted me to turn tail and leave – not a chance. "I never meant to hurt her. I never laid a hand on her! That's more than I can say for Jacob!" I hissed.

Once again Sam pulled back looking at me with questioning eyes as if he didn't believe what he was hearing. "What, what are you talking about?" he asked, yet his thoughts gave him away.

So Sam too had wondered if something was off between Bella and Jacob yet he hadn't done a single thing with his suspicions. I felt my body again quiver with rage at the fact that someone else could have intervened on Bella's behalf yet had sat by and done nothing.

"You know exactly what I am talking about!" I countered pointedly.

"Enough already!" a nameless, faceless pack member shouted over the continuing exchange between me and Sam. "What are we waiting for? He's on our land!"

**Jacob's POV –**

The commotion just beyond the walls caught my attention finally and I was able to pull myself together. Whipping my head around forcefully, I heard the raised voices of many of my pack mates outside and there was one voice that stood out but I wouldn't let myself believe it was who I thought it was.

"What the hell's… …?" I began shouting yet the sight of Edward Cullen silenced me. I was sure my eyes widened at the sight of him. Instantly I felt my body tremble as I contained my animal urges.

"WHERE'S BELLA?" He had the audacity to ask me. "WHERE IS SHE!?"

I scanned the members of my pack all perched and ready to spring into action at a moment's notice and I couldn't help but gloat a bit; Edward Cullen was a good as gone. "And Bella always said how smart you were," I laughed. "If she could see you now."

"WHERE IS SHE, JACOB?!" I heard the threatening growl in his voice but it only made me laugh even more. "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HER NOW? Haven't you hurt her enough already?"

"I think you've got that wrong. You're the one who hurt her, not me," I remarked confidently. I watched his fists clench as his sides and I wondered how long it would be before he tried to make his way passed me and the others. I couldn't help but egg him on. "You left her broken….."

"NO!" he cut me off, "that would be you who has done that! I have never laid a hand on Bella. I have done everything in my power to protect her. It's been you who's threatened and beat her because she doesn't love you. You've used her loyalty for my family as a way to hold on to her. How pathetic is that!"

Edward's sarcastic tone taunted me but I didn't give him the satisfaction. "What the hell are you talking about? Hurt Bella – me? I've never laid a hand on her."

"LIAR!" Edward hissed. "It's because of you that Bella ended up in the hospital twice!"

"She's my wife why would I hurt her?" I retorted.

"Because she doesn't want you!"

His truthful words sliced deeply and seeing red I gave the order to attack.

"NO!!! WAIT!" I saw Emily Uley rush forward putting herself between Cullen and the pack.

**Emily's POV –**

The thundering voices of Jacob and Edward resonated through the quiet village. I sat very still wondering how long it would before all of the residents of the reservation would make an appearance.

It was hard to believe that Edward Cullen dared to set foot on Quileute lands. Yet when I heard his accusations I fully understood what had brought him there. He was there to protect the woman that he loved.

I had known it would only be a matter of time before Bella and Edward found their way back to one another. While I didn't know if vampires imprinted the way werewolves did, what I did know was that Bella and Edward were as destined to be together as Sam and I were.

I should have told Sam my suspicions. He wouldn't have stood for what Jacob was doing – Alpha or not. Maybe I could have stopped this before it had gotten this far.

I heard Edward continue with his allegations as to the things that Jacob had done to Bella and it turned my stomach to hear Jacob emphatically deny them all under the guise of loving his wife. I felt the bile burn a path from stomach to my throat. Yet it was Jacob's words signaling attack that pushed me forward. I couldn't sit idly by and let those that I loved potentially be harmed all for Jacob's lies.

"STOP!!! NO!!! WAIT!!!" I took off running screaming at the top of my lungs in the hope that I could put myself between them all. "STOP!" I knew what could potentially happen to me by my putting myself in the middle of this war; I had the scars to prove how deadly a werewolf attack could be. "STOP!" I stretched out my arms spanning the distance between Edward and the wolf pack.

Suddenly the large black wolf I knew to be Sam fazed back and was at my side shielding my body with his own. "Emily what are you doing?" he asked me all the while never once taking his eyes off the encroaching pack.

"Sam!" Jacob no longer in wolf form shouted my husband's name. "Get out of the way!"

"NO!"

"GET OUT OF THE WAY!

"NO!" I felt Sam's strong arms encircle my waist. "You can't really think I wouldn't protect her."

"And by doing that you are protecting him!"

"I don't care," Sam announced.

"Tell them what you know Emily." Edward instructed me. "Tell them all what you have witnessed."

My eyes darted from Sam and Jacob then to Edward and all of the sudden I was scared. I had run headlong into the middle of this without really thinking and now there was no turning back.

"Emily?" Sam's soft voice prodded me.

"Tell them Emily!" I was sure that Edward was trying not to sound angry but I was well aware that that was difficult for him. "Tell them how Jacob's been hurting Bella."

**Sam's POV –**

Listening to the exchange between Emily and Edward, I felt like I had been sucked into black hole. I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

There my wife stood confirming Edward Cullen's accusations against Jacob. I shot a stare of disbelief at Emily. Why hadn't she told me what she had seen? Why hadn't she trusted me with the truth? Didn't she know that I would have stood up for Bella?

My muscles were taut as the idea of Jacob abusing and threatening Bella settled deep within me. "Let him pass!" I said to the others as I cleared a path for Edward. He nodded and darted off in a mad dash.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK ARE YOU DOING!?!" Jacob growled angrily as I watched his eyes follow Cullen's flash.

"What the hell did you think you were doing hitting Bella!?!" I snarled back. "Do you get off on hitting women?!? "

"Like you are really any better?" Jacob shot back at me. "It's not like you've never hit a woman! All a person has to do is look at Emily's face to know that the great Sam Uley isn't perfect!"

For a moment I was dumbfounded. Did Jacob actually think that what he had done to Bella and what had happened to Emily were interchangeable? My eyes quickly shifted to Emily's beautiful yet scared face and felt my stomach lurch. The guilt all that still weighed heavy on me more times than not. "You can't be serious!" I finally announced. "You want me to believe that these two things are even remotely the same!"

"Aren't they?" Jacob shot back at me all of the sudden full of himself.

"HELL NO!" I growled. "Not even close." It was then that I felt Emily's gentle touch on my quivering flesh. She knew the burden I carried for what I had done to her so many years before. "What happened to Emily is nothing like what you have done to Bella. I was wild and unknowing then. I wasn't able to control myself – no one was there to teach me. You had me!"

"Oh yes the shining example!" Jacob scoffed.

I felt my rage begin to swell as I stood there knowing he was egging me on. The others in the pack had fazed back and now stood around us watching and waiting for what was to come next. They all were well aware of the remorse that I felt for the horrible thing I had done. "At least I feel some sort of repentance for my actions. Do you?"

"I have nothing to be repentant for. Bella married me. She couldn't have it both ways. She couldn't have him and me!"

"So Edward's right then – you beat her because she didn't choose you? You are pathetic!"

"ENOUGH!" Jacob yelled angrily and I knew that I hit a very rare nerve. "The treaty's been broken. We know what is expected of us," he said forcefully yet those around him made no move to follow his order. In fact the others in the pack fell in line behind me. "Quil, Embry?" Jacob's voice wavered for a moment when I saw him witness his lifelong friends fall in line with me as well.

"Appears you are on your own!" I declared.

**Edward's POV –**

_'let him pass'_

Sam's words didn't have a chance to settle in my head before I was off and running. I had no idea where Bella was but I allowed my instincts to take over and the overpowering scent of her blood filled my nostrils. It was that smell that pushed me forward with a quickening pace. I squashed my own fear trying not to think of what I might find.

"BELLA!" I screamed when the door I nearly ripped from the hinges gave way to the sight of a broken, bleeding and unconscious Bella in a heap in the corner of the room. Images of James and the ballet studio in Arizona bounced around my brain assaulting me continually. As much as I hated what James had done to Bella for him it had been nothing more than an elaborate game of cat and mouse. He had targeted Bella for the sheer sport of it, where as Jacob had professed his undying love for her.

I was unable to wrap my mind around how anyone who loved her could physically hurt her in such a way.

"Oh my love," I said with a raspy voice.

If I had been human I would have been fighting back inevitable tears. My eyes scanned her body that was filled with deep claw marks and gashes that dripped with her once fragrant blood and all I could focus on what getting her the help I knew she needed. Placing my fingers gentle against her neck, there was barely a tangible pulse beneath her stark white skin. She was slipping away and I knew it. Softly I allowed my lips to graze hers as I was gripped with a sudden paralyzing fear. "Please, love, hold on. Please hold on," I choked.

As tenderly as I could without doing any more damage to her already mangled body, I scooped her up in my rigid arms. Her head fell against my chest and the scent that only Bella had filled my senses. "I love you," I said quietly.

I walked out of the small cottage cradling Bella in my arms and was immediately hit by the bright sunshine. I didn't even bother to wonder what the sight of my sparkling hardened flesh said to the residents of LaPush. Right now I didn't care if the world knew what I was. All that mattered to me was getting Bella to Carlisle as quickly as I could.

The pack parted as I made my way through them. All of their thoughts inundated me when they finally got a good look at what Jacob had done. It was a sea of disbelief, anger and ultimate rage.

Glancing over my shoulder, I saw Jacob just on the fringe watching. I suppressed the deep urge within me that wanted to rip him limb from limb. There would be time for that later. "Thank you," I said to Sam. I knew what he had sacrificed in allowing me to enter the sanctity of LaPush.

"I'm sorry," he said to me. "I didn't know."

Time was of the essence and without looking back I sprinted forward with Bella against my chest praying to the God she said existed. It was my hope that he would listen to this soulless monster.

**Jacob's POV –**

I stood wide eyed at the edge of it all not believing what I was seeing. The pack – 'MY' pack parted like the Red Sea giving Edward Cullen a clear path to leave LaPush with Bella – 'my' wife.

To hear Sam telling the leech he was sorry and that he didn't know made my stomach lurch. But it was the sight of Bella's badly beaten body that brought the singeing bile to the back of my throat.

I watched the pack gather around Sam and it didn't take much for me to imagine what they were discussing. All of the sudden my position as Alpha seemed to mean very little. Systematically the things in my life that had meant the most were being stripped from me. I looked on as the pack huddled heads hung in deep discussion, Sam at the head of it all. I had lost it all – my position as head of the pack – Bella – my self- respect. Looking down at my hands, hands that I didn't even recognize, hands that had brought forth so much damage, I started to shake. And then did the only thing I knew how to do anymore. I ran.


	26. 25 Hanging in the Balance

Quiet Rage: _Hanging In the Balance_

**Charlie's POV –**

Answering phone calls from Carlisle Cullen was starting to become a little too much like second nature and far too disturbing. This was the second time in a matter of months I had been summoned to the hospital by the good doctor regarding my daughter. Staring at the fast approaching red light overhead, I pulsed my siren signaling my advance, all the while having a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. Carlisle had said very little about Bella's condition yet it was his lack of words that frightened me.

_'Charlie, its Carlisle Cullen. There's been an incident…'  
'What? Is it Bella? What happened to her?'  
'The details are sketchy. I really don't know much, but it's not good.'  
'I'm on my way.'_

I tried to wrap my mind around how this could be happening yet again. First there had been that fateful call from Carlisle that had me rushing to Phoenix. Bella had been very lucky to survive that event. I still had trouble coming to grips with her falling down two flights of stairs and through a plate glass window. Then not so long ago the phone rang again with Carlisle Cullen on the other end explaining that my daughter was in the hospital with a severe concussion. Yet somehow this call was even worse only for the fact that Dr. Cullen wasn't forthcoming with Bella's injuries. In each prior call he had been able to give me rather explicit details of her wounds but this call was different. The tone in his voice was different. He sounded apprehensive – frightened even. All of which just set me even more on edge.

It wasn't as if I wasn't already on edge before his call. I had spent the better part of an hour listening to the hush whispers of the other diner patrons discussing Bella and Dr. Cullen's son. While no one dared meet my gaze, that didn't quiet down their speculations as to the whys and wherefores of Edward Cullen and my daughter.

'_Well they have been seen around town together……'  
'I heard the Newton boy complaining the other day that that Cullen kid is always hanging around their store……'  
'Well he did crash her wedding……'  
'Do you think she's cheating on her husband… …'  
'Maybe they are using the hospital as a cover. Maybe Dr. Cullen is giving them a place to meet… …'_

If it hadn't been for the troubled tone in Carlisle's voice, I might have started to believe the gossip that swirled around me. However, I knew that to every rumor there was always a kernel of truth. It was that seed that fed my guilt. Guilt over what I knew and hadn't done a thing about. How had I allowed myself to bury my head in the sand? How had I let Bella pretend to be clueless as to what really happened to her? Why hadn't I pushed her harder? So many questions circled in my brain that I was feeling a bit off balance.

My balance was severely tested when I rounded the corner entering the Emergency Room waiting area and was confronted with the entire Cullen family in various stages of pacing. It was Dr. Cullen's beautiful wife, Esme, and his daughter Alice who first noticed my presence. "Any news?" I asked them.

"I'm sorry, no." Esme Cullen's voice was as soft as velvet.

"What happened?" My eyes scanned the room as I looked for Edward; sure he would be the only one who could truly answer my question.

"We aren't sure really," Esme said to me.

Running my hands over my face I let out a heavy sigh. I didn't know what to say or do. Hospitals and waiting had never been my strong suit nor had been being on the other side of this fence. It was usually me who was getting asked questions like – what happened; the condition of a loved one; were they going to be okay. I didn't dare ask that question. I was terrified of the answer.

"Can I get you something, coffee, anything?" I looked up and saw Alice's concerned expression looking back at me.

"No, thank you though," I added feeling as though I needed to fill the silence that deafened the small waiting room.

Shoving my hands in the pockets of my jacket, I began my own pacing as I tried to reign in my galloping thoughts. I let my focus drift to the eclectic array of people in the room. I had never really thought that much about the family that Carlisle and Esme Cullen had amassed. Looking back I hadn't been able to care for a wife and one child yet these two people who I barely knew had been able to take five adolescences and themselves and turn them into a family.

In the corner sat Alice and Rosalie with Esme between them holding each one of their hands. Their concern for Bella was palpable. Even Emmett and Jasper, neither of who I knew very well, looked worried. They had their heads bent in some deep conversation. Even though in this room full of people, of which I was the only one related to Bella, I felt completely out of place.

Before wearing a permanent grove in the stark white linoleum, I slumped down into the stiff vinyl chair closest to the door. It was Emmett's rather harsh voice spouting the name Jacob Black that caught my attention. As difficult as it was for me to remain seated, I did just that pretending to be engrossed in my own thoughts all the while listening intently to what I could gather from the ongoing conversation between the two adoptive brothers.

The words -- threatening and beating coming from their lips had me sitting white knuckled in my seat. My stomach churned as the guilt I carried continued to eat away at me. What had I done? What had I condoned by pushing for this marriage between my daughter and a boy I apparently had never really known at all? How could I have allowed this to happen right under my nose?

All this time I had wanted to believe that I had been keeping Bella away from the bad guy when in reality I had done just the opposite. "Where's Edward? Has anyone seen him?" I asked standing up and started for the door before anyone in the room could answer me.

**Edward's Pov –**

I could still feel Bella's lifeless body in my arms her breathing so shallow that the average human would have thought her dead. I pushed back that thought since I knew how close to the truth it was. My usually still hands shook as I ran them over my marble smooth face every nerve in me was like a live wire. The image of Carlisle rushing forward scooping Bella from me and whisking her through the swinging double doors was etched in my mind, yet it was the look on his face that haunted me. The way his eyes scanned her battered body and the ragged thoughts I had been able to read scared the hell out of me. Carlisle was as worried as I was that we were losing her. At that thought I let out an anguished howl and began my pacing in front of those swinging doors that it seemed like hours ago Carlisle disappeared through.

It frustrated me that I wasn't able to hear more than the muffled voices of those working on Bella and as for reading their thoughts – it suddenly seemed like that once welcomed gift wasn't so much so now. The only blaring thought kept coming from an older nurse who kept thinking over and over again _'poor, poor girl'_ – _'what a poor, poor girl' – 'she's too young to die'._

_DIE – DIE – DIE_

That single word ricocheted around my head like a little silver ball of a pinball machine. And no matter how much I tried to put a stop to it by tilting the machine, I couldn't. It had taken on a life of its own and I was its captive. My rigid muscles started to twitch as the realization that Bella's life hung in the balance and how much I was responsible for it all.

Why was it no matter what I tried to do to keep her safe it never ended up turning out the way I envisioned it would? Rather than Bella being out of harm's way, my actions and reactions had put her smack in the middle of peril and mayhem. "I'm sorry my love," I said softly to the walls around me.

I truly was sorry – sorry for it all. I wanted to wish that I had never met her. I wanted to wish that I had had the strength to stay away from her in the very beginning but I couldn't. I had waited for someone like her for so long that deep down I couldn't regret having her in my life. My only regret was that I had ever left in the first place – left her broken and vulnerable to the likes of Jacob Black. Just the thought of his name brought forth a violent reaction from within my rock hard hand suddenly crashing against the fragile plaster wall leaving a noticeable indentation.

Back on the reservation there hadn't been time for me to deal with him in the way that I would have liked but I swore to myself no matter the outcome behind those doors, Jacob Black would pay for each and every mark he dared place on Bella's body. He'd pay with his life.

It was then that the thoughts of another caught my attention – Charlie's thoughts. They dripped with apprehension as he made his way to where I was still restlessly pacing. I was a little surprised, shocked even, that his thoughts weren't filled with anger and hatred when it came to me. I would have expected as much, that's certainly how I was feeling about myself at the moment. But rather than those emotions, his thoughts were filled with a myriad of guilt and regret.

"Edward," Charlie's usually gruff voice was soft when he spoke my name. "Can I talk to you?"

I nodded my reply not sure how to address the man before me. While he was Bella's father and deserved my respect for that reason alone, I wasn't in the mood to be browbeaten by him. I wanted to reserve the right for myself alone.

"I've never really stopped investigating what happened to Bella a few months ago." He began. "I came across something disturbing…"

His lengthy pause unnerved me. "And?" I pressed him.

"The anonymous person that dropped Bella off at the Emergency Room that day – well they weren't really that anonymous. It was Jake."

"WHAT?!?" I heard the growl in my voice but I couldn't control it nor did I want to. I had to have some release for my anger.

"A few weeks after the incident one of my officers was finally able to get a description of the person who brought Bella in that day from one of the charge nurses. And when they brought the report to me…." Again I heard him stutter almost as if he was searching for the right words. "The description clearly fit Jake."

"And you did nothing!" I bellowed.

"I tried to talk to Bella about it. She wouldn't. She avoided the subject telling me that everything fine….."

"Apparently not!" I retorted sarcastically. "You just left her with him!" I couldn't comprehend that.

"What was I supposed to do? She wouldn't talk about. She stuck to her story that she didn't remember anything. I couldn't make her tell me." I could tell by Charlie's exasperated tone that he felt horrible for his lack of effort yet at that moment – a moment that Bella's life was on the line – Charlie Swan's feeling meant nothing to me.

"Do you know what he's done to her?" I shouted accusingly. "Her life has been a living hell full of threats and beatings…" I chocked on that last word. I saw Charlie's eyes widen.

"WHAT?! Not Jacob…"

"Yes Jacob. Your life long friend's son, the one you have known since birth has been beating your daughter. She's lived in fear for months now and you did nothing, I did nothing. My only excuse is that up until today I didn't know. But you've known for months and sat by letting it happen!" My temper, one that I knew could get the better of me if I let it, raged on as Bella's father stood dumbfounded in front of me.

"I swear to you, Edward, I had no idea." I watched as he hung his head low in despair. "Why, why would he hurt her?"

I wasn't sure if he was talking to me but I answered him just the same. "My family and I, Jacob couldn't take it that I was, we all were, still important to her. So he used us, or rather Bella's love for us, to hold her prisoner. And when she couldn't do it anymore he…." I let my voice trail off unable to say more for many reasons – our secrets, my fear and so many emotions this 100 year old vampire didn't know how to handle.

**Charlie's POV –**

I stood listening to Edward's explanation and a raging bonfire began growing in the pit of my stomach. I couldn't be hearing him right. Jacob Black, Billy's son, the boy I had known since before he could walk, couldn't have done the things Edward said – not to my Bella.

Yet standing in this hospital corridor, the cryptic call from Carlisle and the pained expression in Edward's eyes – I knew better. Jacob wasn't the man he portrayed himself to be. He wasn't my daughter's saving grace as I had thought. If I could have laughed at how well he played me or how I let myself be played I would have. I had not only failed as a father but as a cop as well.

However all those endless months of Bella walking around like a zombie – barely living – how else could I have seen Jacob but her savior? He had made her smile, her laugh. She was human again when she was around him. I got lulled into believing that her marrying him was the perfect solution to keeping her that way – happy.

What a stupid stupid way of thinking on my part. If I hadn't been so furious with Edward, I would have seen the look in Bella's eyes when he entered the church. I should have been the one to stand up and put a stop to a marriage that in my heart knew wouldn't work – not with Edward back. I hated to admit it but I was wrong. The man I had always seen as the bad guy wasn't and the one I saw as the savior wasn't either – in fact they were the complete opposites.

"Edward," I said quietly, "I don't know what to say. I should have done things differently. I should have…I wish I would….I'm sorry, sorry I didn't give you the chance you deserved."

**Edward's POV –**

I cocked my head for a moment unsure that I had heard Bella's father correctly. Had he just apologized to me? I was stunned silent with disbelief yet it was his thoughts that allowed me to realize that he indeed was sincere in his attempt at make an apology.

Suddenly starring at Charlie's eyes full of remorse I felt compassion for him. Yes he had made mistakes but hadn't I as well? I wasn't in a position to pass judgment over anyone.

"I'm sorry too," I finally said. "I've made mistakes of my own, have regrets…." My voice trailed off as the recollections of that fateful day in the forest came back to me. Bella's tears and pleas to go with me and my family pierced my stone heart. "Things I wish I could change – take back, but I can't."

I watched him watching me as I continued. His thoughts were conflicted. He wanted to believe me but there was a part of still held reservations. "Chief Swan…"

"Charlie," he corrected me.

"Charlie," I began, "I want you to understand that no matter what you think of me or what I have done it was all for Bella. I truly believed that my leaving was for the best…."

"You don't realize what that did to her," he interrupted me.

Once more I was bombarded by the images of Charlie's mind. Again I was forced to see Bella curled in the fetal position in the center of her bed for days on end that turned into months. I tried to shake off those pictures. "I need you to believe me when I tell you that I NEVER stopped loving Bella. It killed me to go but at that moment in time I was doing what I thought was best for us all. I was wrong," I whispered.

Sam and Emily's approach stopped Charlie from responding. "How's Bella?" Emily's soft voice was full of concern.

"We don't know anything yet," Charlie answered before I was able.

"I wanted to thank you, both," I said gesturing to both Emily and Sam, "For what you did on the reservation. It cost you both a great deal." I now turned and looked directly at Sam. It had been him and him alone that enabled me to get to Bella. If he hadn't stepped up, I knew that the altercation would have ended badly.

"I did what had to be done," Sam said in a solemn tone.

"I wish I had said something sooner," Emily added as Sam reached for her hand. I saw him squeeze it gently for support. "Things would have been so different if I had just said something from the very beginning."

"You can't be sure of that. In fact it might have been worse," I told her, knowing from Alice that even a minute change could have a ripple effect and not always for the better.

"How could this have been any worse?" Sam questioned with skepticism. "You can't really believe if I had known what Jacob was doing that I wouldn't have put a stop to it?" Sam turned speaking directly to me now. "I can't condone what he's done. There's no excuse for what he did to Bella!"

Beside me I read Charlie's racing thoughts. The realization that all of this was very real was finally settling in for him. There was very little he could do to run from the truth with more people confirming what deep down he knew.

"Where is he? I hope he doesn't think hiding out at LaPush is going to help. I don't care that I've known him since he was in diapers. I'll drag his ass out of there in handcuffs as the world watches!" Charlie seethed through clenched teeth.

"He's gone," Sam announced. "I'm sorry, Charlie but he ran off."

"I'll put out an APB on him. He's not going to get away with this!"

I didn't bother to stop him when he reached for his radio to issue his edict. I knew that it wouldn't matter. Jacob was gone and no human would find him if he didn't want to be found. I glanced in Sam's direction and his gentle nod assured me that the rest of the pack had set off in search of their former Alpha.

"Excuse me." Carlisle's voice alerted the others to his presence even though I knew he was already approaching us from behind.

"How is she?" the three humans said nearly in unison.

"I wish I had better news," he said but it wasn't his words I was concerned with – it was his thoughts and they were anything but good.

"Her condition is grave. She has a punctured lung, internal bleeding, massive internal injuries and more than two hundred stitches over her body in an attempt to close up her wounds."

There was a collective gasp from Charlie, Sam and Emily at Carlisle's explanation. The three of them reached for one another trying to steady themselves.

I felt my unnecessary breathing quicken as I probed Carlisle's thoughts. It was far worse than he had let on to the others. _'she's not in any pain, I made sure of that,'_ While the last thing I wanted was for Bella to suffer, I had hoped to hear something different.

My eyes darted to my father and he knew what I wanted to know without my having to utter a single audible syllable. _'it's really not good son. she's barely hanging by a thread.'_ I felt myself recoil at his thought. A world without Bella in it meant nothing to me – I couldn't imagine it let alone want to exist in it.

"Is there a chance she could pull through?" I questioned my lips barely moving. Not only was I speaking too softly for any human to hear but Sam, Emily and Charlie were still caught up in their own various states of shock.

"Not likely," Carlisle said in the same hushed tone.

Those two simple words caused me to stumble back as though someone had knocked the wind out of me. My ochre eyes widened as I desperately tried to process what I heard. Bella wasn't going to make it. She was going to die. The thought of losing her overtook me and while I knew I should have tried to keep up a normal human pace – I couldn't. I turned and I ran as if I had been shot out of a cannon.

**Carlisle's POV –**

There I stood watching Edward's swiftly retreating form torn knowing what I wanted to do and what I had to do. While every part of me screamed to tear after him and do what I could to help him cope with the news that I just delivered, I couldn't. I had to stand there and be a doctor.

I swallowed hard around the lump in my throat and I turned to face Charlie who wore a dumb struck expression as like me he watched Edward bolt from the room. "Would you like to see her?" I finally asked him.

All Charlie could do was nod. Gently I took him by the arm and led him into Bella's room. Instantly he dug in his heels as Bella's body hooked up to several machines and had various tubes sprouting out from both of her badly battered arms came into his line of sight.

His slight gasp was audible enough for my sensitive ears to hear and I felt for the man – father. This sort of thing never got any easier for me. Telling a person that their loved one was most likely not going to make it was difficult yet given whom was laying in that bed it made the task amplified to the umpteenth degree.

"Oh my God," Charlie's exasperated words broke my own train of thought. "Bells," he said softly reaching for her hand but stopped and looked to me before actually making contact.

"It's fine." I did my best to assure him.

Even under sedation Bella was restless. Her body twitched and with each movement she would moan just a bit. I made a mental note to increase her morphine.

"Oh Bells, honey, why – why didn't you trust me enough to tell me? I would have done anything for you," he cried the tears streaking his cheeks.

"Edward," I heard Bella whimper my son's name. "Edward," she said again this time her eyes fluttered a bit. Maybe I had underestimated her.

Charlie turned and glanced at me as Edward's name passed from Bella's lips once more. "I'll go find him." I offered heading for the door. As it closed behind me, I heard Charlie's words of apology that were quickly drowned out by his sobs as he sat holding Bella's hand.

Scouring the hospital corridors, I found Edward crouched in the corner staring blankly out into space. "Edward," I said softly resting my hand on his knee.

"She's going to die, isn't she?" he asked looking up at me.

"I've done all that I can do." I hated saying those words. It didn't matter that I had said them hundreds of times before, but it had never been to my own son about someone he loved – someone I knew he couldn't exist without. "The damage Bella sustained at the hand of Jacob is far too great."

"She's going to die then," he said again this time his voice shook with each word.

I paused for a moment not letting myself think before I spoke. "She doesn't have to," I said finally.

"NO!" Edward's voice bellowed as I could no longer hold my thoughts at bay. In my mind there was only one way and I knew it was a way that Edward would have done anything to avoid. "NO! There has to be another way."

"Son, I don't see another one. I have done everything within my _'human'_ powers. Her injuries," I paused trying to find the words to make Edward understand.

"NO! I won't turn her into a monster!" My son's voice came out as a strangled cry.

"Then she's going to die, Edward." I stated matter of fact in a desperate hope that my frankness would somehow cut deep enough to allow him to see reason. "We have to consider our other option. It's the only way."

"It can't be," Edward whispered burying his face in his hands.

"Son," I said taking him by the arm and lifting him to his feet. "You really need to see Bella – to see just how badly she's injured. Besides she's been asking for you."

"She's awake?" I heard the glimmer of hope in Edward's voice.

"In and out of consciousness really, nothing more than that."

I stood behind Edward the only thing standing between him and Bella was the closed door to her room. I heard him heave a heavy sigh and I squeezed his shoulder in a vain attempt at offering my support.

The swooshing sound of the door opening caused Charlie to turn and watch as we entered. "She's been mostly quiet since you left," he said to me before looking at Edward. "The only thing she ever says is your name. Here, sit." Charlie got up offering Edward his chair.

Edward quickly nodded yet remained at the foot of Bella's bed. "We'll give you some time alone," I said ushering Charlie to the door mentally urging Edward to take a good look at his love.

**Edward's POV –**

As the door swung closed the background noise from the hallway faded away leaving only the rhythmic beeping of the varying machines that Bella was attached to. Gripping the edge of the bed my already alabaster knuckles turned even more ghostly white. I was a little surprised that I hadn't crushed the thick rounded plastic with the pressure I was applying.

I finally allowed my eyes to thoroughly scan Bella's broken body. Letting out an audible gasp my normally stone knees buckled. "Oh my love," I whispered. All Carlisle's thoughts that I had wanted to be an exaggeration weren't. Even though nearly half of her body was shrouded in a thin white sheet the parts I could see showed dozens of wounds held together by threadlike black strands. The rise and fall of her chest was barely noticeable.

Reaching for her hand, there was no instant warmth that I normally felt when we would touch. She felt as cold as I did – if that was possible. Was that a sign? Should I even consider Carlisle's suggestion? I shook the thought from my head. Bella was barely conscious. How could I even think of changing her without her permission?

Rubbing my thumb across her smooth skin, I thought about the night of the prom. How that night she had asked me why I hadn't just let the change happen after James had bitten her. My answer had been the same as it had just been to my father. I didn't want to make her a monster – yet she didn't seem to care. She said all she wanted was to be with me forever. I could still see her leaning her head back exposing her neck to me, her breath short with anticipation. For a brief second I toyed with the idea before kissing her neck softly pushing the thought away.

I asked her if it wasn't enough to just have a long and happy life with me and she replied _'for now'_. Yet as I looked at her lying there knowing her life was neither going to long nor happy – could Carlisle be right? Was there no other way? Could I do that to her, could I take away her choices or had she already made her choice and I had chosen to ignore it?

"Edward," Carlisle's soft voice startled me. It was hard to believe that I had been so lost in my own thoughts that I hadn't heard him approach much less his thoughts. "We are running out of time," he said tentatively.

Looking between where he stood and Bella lay and back again, I couldn't do it. I couldn't consent to damning my sweet Bella to what I was sure was a soulless existence even if she believed differently. "I can….."

"No!" I stopped him before his could finish his thought. He was offering to do what he thought I was unable to. "NO!" I emphatically stressed.

"Son, I don't want to lose her either, none of us do, but we are going to lose her if we don't act quickly."

I listened as he silently added _'and you as well'_. Carlisle knew that losing Bella meant losing me as well and he couldn't bear that or what it would do to Esme and the others. Yet for me that still wasn't a compelling enough argument to end Bella's life, even if that was exactly what was happening anyway.

The mental war that continued between Carlisle and me was put to an immediate halt when Jasper entered the room. I imagined it was at Alice's urging that he try to calm the battling forces of father and son.

"Alice knows, doesn't she?" Carlisle asked turning to Jasper whose only response was to nod in agreement.

"She sees Bella dying?" I said.

"No," Jasper answered me. "She sees her becoming one of us."

"NO!" My voice was far louder than necessary yet I was unable to control the panic that seemed to fill me. "She saw it before and it didn't happen. It doesn't have to this time either."

"Edward, be reasonable. Look at Bella, really look at her!" Carlisle implored me. "She's dying right before your eyes and you refuse to see it. To do anything to stop it."

"I've changed others, during the war," My head shot up as Jasper spoke and while he knew he didn't have to say it out loud I already heard what he intended to offer he continued just the same. "I can change her."

Continuing to read his thoughts they were filled with his own guilt and remorse for how his actions had set all these events in motion. He was shouldering the burden of it all when was I was as much to or even more to blame. He wanted to make it right. And then there were his thoughts of how Alice would take Bella's death. Jasper wasn't able to bear what that would do to his love. The family would lose the both of us and Jasper knew it and that alone would shatter Esme.

"I've already offered," Carlisle said.

"Something has to be done."

The two men before me kept right on speaking as though I wasn't even in the room or that I could read all of their thoughts. They had nothing to hide. We all were aware of what had to be done or what would happen if it didn't.

**Carlisle's POV –**

I walked solemnly toward the waiting area. I hesitated for a moment assessing my words – yet there were no words to say what I had to say. At the sight of me Charlie immediately jumped to his feet, Sam and Emily at his heels.

"How is she?" Charlie asked apprehensively.

Instantly I hung my head. "Carlisle?" Esme's questioning voice called to me. When I looked up I was met by my family's disbelief filled eyes.

"She's…." Charlie began but couldn't continue.

"What?" Sam questioned as Emily gasped and started to sob.

"I'm sorry." As hollow as those words sounded that was all I could say before turning and leaving them all with their own thoughts.


	27. Thank You

To all of those who faithfully read Quiet Rage, I thank you. And to those that put their thoughts out there in a review or two I am so grateful. It's been great to learn that I can write for another couple and engage those that read it.

Quiet Rage has been a joy to write but it's come to a close. I know a rather a cliffhanger of an ending – I am toying with a possible sequel so who knows maybe this ride isn't quite over yet.

But again thank you all. Your feedback has made a fun story to write even more so. I am an appreciative author.


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